Being one of “Bob’s Juniors,” as we were known, I learned the game of golf at a very young age. However, when you are eight or nine years of age, patience isn’t always a virtue, and as I waited for the foursome of elderly men taking their time to play in front of me as if no one else was on the course, and watching my summer pass before my eyes, I decided teaching waterskiing wasn’t a bad second option.

While I didn’t give up golf, I wasn’t as dedicated to it as some of my other friends who went on to become pretty good golfers. Compared to me, they hit the ball straight and seemed to have all the shots in their bag. As for me, I had a slice second to none, and oftentimes felt I needed to duck after hitting my tee shot, expecting the ball to come back around like a boomerang. That being said, after watching Rory McIlroy at this year’s Masters, playing his errant tee shots from the woods, I felt as if we were kindred spirits. While our local course, St. Andrews South, doesn’t have many trees to navigate, using Rory’s same technique, there are very few houses I haven’t hit!

For those of Bob’s Juniors who took the game more seriously than I did, there are a couple of golfers that stand out, Rick Southwick and Jay Card III, known as “Jake.” Rick was one of the finest golfers I knew early on. I remember seeing him compete in his first club championship at Gardiner’s Bay Country Club on Shelter Island, NY, a club we all belonged to. He was playing against a multiple-time club champion, who was trying to throw Rick off his game mentally, as he appeared to sense he was overmatched. As impressive as this reining club champion was, Rick seemed to be at another level, as he made each shot look effortless. After going on to win multiple club championships himself and beating Phil Mickelson in the U.S. Amateurs, Rick decided to pursue the pro golf tour. Too often, when we see someone we personally know dominate local competition, which can be fierce, we think that it can easily translate to the next level and above. Rick would find that playing to support yourself, and the pressure of competing with so many others with the same ambitions and skill sets, became very sobering, especially when everything you had done before to win club championships was no longer good enough. People who knew Rick from the club and were accustomed to his dominating performances started asking Bob, “What’s the matter with Rick? Why isn’t he winning?” Bob would simply reply, “Rick is performing within the top 5% of everyone in the world who plays golf. If you performed within the top 5% of your profession, you would be considered a success, but you question what is wrong with Rick.” As good as Rick was then, even though his profession has changed, he recently competed in the 65th Senior Amateur Championship, which draws golfers from all over the country. To see his game, you wouldn’t think he has missed a step, as he still plays the game with that effortless confidence.

As talented as Rick Southwick has been over the years, Jay Card III is a name you may be hearing about very soon. Our family has been friends with the Card family of Shelter Island for four generations, and Jay Card III, known as Jake to his friends and family, is currently playing on the PGA Tour’s Korn Ferry Tour. Multi-talented, like his father, who was a decorated athlete, Jake just missed making the PGA Tour a little over a year ago and is competing again with the goal of competing alongside the likes of Rory McIlroy and Scottie Scheffler. Recently, we watched Jake play in the Lecom Suncoast Classic, a Korn Ferry Tour stop held at Lakewood National Golf Club in Lakewood Ranch. A total of 156 professional golfers entered this tournament, and to see the quality of golf up close and personal was a memory of a lifetime. The course was challenging, with stiff winds and unforgiving greens, and the competition was so fierce that even from the vantage point of a spectator, you could feel the pressure knowing one errant shot could take the golfer you were rooting for out of the prize money. It’s hard to believe that after 72 holes of intense competition, Jake would come up just a little over an inch short on his birdie putt on the last hole to miss being tied for first and going into a sudden-death playoff. He had to settle for a two-way tie for second place at 21 under par. A non-golfer may ask, “Is that good?” For someone like me, I would have more success hitting a house than shooting a sub-par round of golf, but to think that last putt Jake missed cost him around $100,000.00 had he gone on to win in a playoff is the pressure these golfers face as they stand over each and every putt.

Unlike team sports, where one player may be able to offset a poor performance by another team member, golf can be a very lonely walk, as you are not only competing against everything the course throws at you, but the hot hand that any given player may be having that day. Simply put, it is when good isn’t always good enough.

What makes Jake’s journey so interesting is that he didn’t come from a big city or attend an elite sports academy like IMG that would have honed his skills and fostered a competitive spirit. He grew up on an island of approximately 2,500-3,000 year-round residents and was part of a graduating class of only 16, including himself. He attended High Point University in High Point, North Carolina, where his original plan was to enroll in a pre-med program, but soon realized it wasn’t the path he wanted to pursue. It is said that his passion for music and his bass voice caught the attention of his professors, who heard him sing with the choir and suggested he pursue a degree in music. While today’s generation’s music interests are about as far removed from opera as I am from being an astronaut, Jake chose a path less traveled, studying opera and graduating with a degree in music performance. This talented young man has sung at Carnegie Hall, as part of an a cappella group, and as a member of university choir, performed at the Vatican. He’s even performed solo with an orchestra in front of 1,500 people.

Whether it is performing solo on the big stage in front of scores of people or competing at the highest level in a sport such as golf, it takes a special individual who is not only willing to make the sacrifice to hone their skills but is also willing to take the road less traveled. Henry David Thoreau once said, “Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you’ve imagined.” His quote affirmed the power of self-belief and the importance of pursuing one’s passions. Sometimes that journey can be lonely. As golf legend Arnold Palmer once said, “Golf is a game of inches; the most important are the six inches between your ears.”

We often idolize others’ success, not fully appreciating the sacrifices they made to reach the pinnacle. American comedian, vaudeville performer, and radio/film star from the 50’s and 60’s, Eddie Cantor summed it up best, “It takes twenty years to make an overnight success,” …implying the real work happens years before the spotlight hits.

As Jake walks down that fairway, thinking to himself about the pressure shot he just made, or the one that is to follow, he has already accomplished something most of us were afraid to do. He was willing to take the chance to succeed that few others could say they did.

-Gary Cardillo

For the longest time, I couldn’t figure out what the qualifications were for being an angel, as I never met one, and most of my friends and I made too many mistakes along the way to be remotely considered for “angelhood.” However, things changed the first time I heard my mother refer to someone as an angel. Imagine the look on my face when I saw my first one in real life, and no wings! Guess like Jesus, who wasn’t recognized as anything special by those in his hometown, there didn’t seem to be anything particularly special about the lady my mother was referring to. It was then that I started to understand what it meant to be an angel.

Given what makes someone an angel in the eyes of others, I think the first one I met was my mom. She was kind, patient, encouraging, and saw the best in others. I never heard her say an unkind word about anyone. While you may know others who embody the same qualities, it was her act of honesty that left an indelible impression on me. Years ago, when I was in my pre-teen years, our church was having a raffle, and the grand prize was a new Volvo automobile. A very prestigious prize back then. A dear friend of my mother’s had left to visit family in California and couldn’t purchase a ticket before she left. She asked if my mother would purchase one for her, along with one my mother purchased for herself. As luck would have it, one of the two tickets my mother purchased was the winning ticket, and when everyone congratulated my mother, she replied, “That was the ticket I bought for Dorothy.” As you can imagine, those who approached my mother said, “Dorothy would never know,” but my mom replied, “I would.” There would be many other examples I learned from her over the years, but her act of kindness and honesty was a hallmark moment for me, not to mention a tremendous life lesson.

Recently, our church here in Punta Gorda lost its Pastor who passed away in his sleep. His name was Father Jerome Kaywell, or Father Jerry as he was known to us. A Grammy Award recipient, composer, songwriter, and cancer survivor, who was one of the kindest souls you could meet. I had an opportunity years ago to interview Father Jerry for one of our monthly newsletters and felt the presence of someone uniquely special. He often used the term “mysticism” as part of his spiritual belief, which transcended the personality traits we have grown accustomed. He thought on a higher level. He wanted the church to think and embrace a higher level of thinking and understanding, where we would be more accepting of others, particularly those who didn’t necessarily share our core values. At 72 years of age, he was taken too early from us, but he impacted so many lives. He often confided in close associates his desire to be acknowledged as a Saint, which to me takes Angelhood to a whole new level. I don’t think you can find anyone who doesn’t feel they are a better person for knowing Father Jerry, and I count myself as one.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that those we consider “angels” don’t fit a physical mold. Many times, it’s not their spoken word, but a certain presence that inspires us to be better. It can be through the gifts they share or just an act of kindness that gives us a paradigm shift in how we view the world, fostering a desire to make a difference in the lives of others.

Recently, I attended an awards ceremony hosted by some of the area’s Rotary Clubs held at the Charlotte County Events Center. Several hundred people were in attendance to acknowledge the acts of heroism, service, and support our firefighters, law enforcement personnel, and unique individuals provide to our community on a continuous basis. While each story was touching, with many risking their lives to save others, it was the look of gratitude on the faces of the lives they touched that you sensed would go on to perform the same acts for generations to come.

Of those who were recognized on that special evening, former educator, school community liaison, friend to many, and founder of the rock-and-soul band called the Boogiemen was Mike Riley. In his various capacities over the years, he has touched the lives of scores of people. His band was one of the most sought-after bands in all of southwest Florida, performing at over 180 charitable events over the decades. Riley, as he is known to his friends, has had a passion for the area’s children, encouraging them to pursue the goals and dreams they embody. Always self-deprecating, Riley has always celebrated the gifts and successes of others, and in his acceptance speech for the Charlie Shue Award, he encouraged those in attendance to make our community a better place for the children and to lead by example. It wasn’t the award he received, but an opportunity he would have, while battling a debilitating health issue, to inspire us all.

This award ceremony would leave us one last defining moment, when recipients of the Punta Gorda Police Department’s program, “Do the Right Thing,” were acknowledged. While we think of those unique individuals who impart years of wisdom from lives well lived, it was a young elementary school girl, whose intervention in saving the life of a fellow classmate contemplating suicide by jumping down a stairwell, made all of us realize angels are all around us. With poise and understanding, she coaxed her classmate to safety, with maturity and composure that far exceeded her years.

These are just some of the angels who walk among us each day. Their words may be simple. Their acts of encouragement, when needed most. Other times, it may be a warm embrace or a listening ear. But they all seem to have the same effect in leaving you with a better version of yourself and a desire to touch the lives of others.

This Easter season is a reminder for many of the life one person gave for so many others. It is with that same service to others that will inspire us all to make this world a better place for generations to come.

-Gary Cardillo

A few short weeks later, we go from ghosts and goblins to pilgrims and turkeys. We welcome the season of Thanksgiving and seem to rekindle a stronger compassion for others. It is a time of year when our greatest joy comes from giving more than receiving. We seem to find inner peace in decorating our homes and listening to the music of the season, taking pause to cherish each moment.

 While I’ve always wanted to savor each holiday to its fullest, like many, I am ready to usher in the holidays earlier this year so we could inject a little joy into our lives after the devastating effects of Hurricanes Debbie, Helene, and Milton. While some of us experienced less impact from this storm than we did from Hurricane Charley 20 years ago, others weren’t so fortunate. Through it all, it makes you stop and take stock of what is really important in life.

Over the past couple of years, I’ve been part of a special team of volunteers assembled by Punta Gorda Police Officer Joe Angelini that hosted 51 foster families and 144 foster children to a holiday luncheon. This touching holiday event Joe started 9 years ago, a year after he became a resource officer at Sally Jones Elementary School. Always having had a special place in his heart for children, Joe recounts how the school principal asked him if he would take a little first-grade boy named Lucas under his wing. Joe agreed, if the department would put him back patrolling the streets the following year, which was part of his service to the community he enjoyed. Little did Joe know the impact this child would have on him.

At the principal’s request, she asked if Joe would make time to have lunch with this young boy in order to build a bond and see if he could find out the cause of Lucas’ unacceptable behavior. Joe said at first, he was puzzled why a child this age would exhibit such an incidence of this kind of behavior, but as Lucas opened up to Joe, he shared how he had bounced back and forth between 10 foster homes in Lee and Charlotte Counties in one year. Then, Joe realized this boy needed more stability and a bit of a father figure and confidant. Joe started to take Lucas off campus to places like McDonald’s, where he could experience some of the pleasures children in a more normalized home setting enjoyed. Through their time together, Joe gained an intimate insight into how children in Lucas’ situation were starving for a permanent place they could call home.

While we reminisced about what it was like growing up and coming down Christmas morning to see the brightly colored presents Santa had brought us the night before, Joe felt an emotional tug at his heart. He saw how the holidays often accentuated the transient hand these children were dealt. Despite the best efforts these foster families were trying to provide the love and stability the children lacked, Joe felt these families and children needed more than a holiday lunch; they needed something where memories were made.

He met with Pastor Tim Buck of First Methodist Church in Punta Gorda, now New Life Church, along with various community leaders and restauranteurs, and the groundwork was established. Hearing what Joe was planning, an elderly lady in the community anonymously provided presents for each one of the children. Joe confided, “She provided and the Christmas Elves wrapped.” Joe’s love for these children caught the attention of the Children’s Network of Florida, which reached out to Joe with children and families in desperate need of holiday cheer that would carry them throughout the New Year. Joe told them, “If you know of a child in need, share that with us, and we’ll make sure their Christmas is a bit more special.”

Over these 9 years, this 16-year Veteran of the Punta Gorda Police force has created an event to remember. The buffet-style luncheon is more like a feast with fresh roasted turkey and enough side dishes and desserts to feed an army. Any additional food left over is carefully wrapped and delivered to the homeless shelter. After lunch, the children are treated to take part in a photo booth, a cookie decorating station, and a place where they can create their own ice cream sundaes. Of course, what holiday event would be complete without a personal visit and picture with Santa? Throughout the event, local musicians play holiday music in the background, along with festive decorations and lighted Christmas trees. It is a beautiful setting to behold. However, the best is yet to come.Upon leaving, each child receives 3-4 personal gifts to take home, and the foster parents receive a festive holiday bag with all the side dish staples and a gift certificate to Publix for a turkey that will feed up to a family of twelve for a wonderful Christmas dinner.

I’ve often wondered what gives us the most satisfaction in life and as I’ve grown older it isn’t the presents I’ve received, it is the joy of giving, and the look of surprise on someone’s face that gives me the most pleasure. Walking around the sea of tables, clearing them these past couple of years so the church could set up for their service the following morning, a couple of the children asked if they could clear the tables with me. To see these little ones, who weren’t more than 10 years of age, wearing adult disposable gloves and clearing the tables with me spoke volumes about how grateful they were. They had no idea how much they touched my heart.

As Joe and I sat together a year ago recapping the day’s events, he said, “Gary, I think about this event every day of the year and how we can make it better and touch the lives of more families and children.” In my recent conversation, Joe said, “This year, we are anticipating 150 children, including those that are now coming from Lee County.” I thought, “You didn’t just make their lives better; you made mine better, too.” I was afforded an opportunity to give, and to me, that was priceless.

As the holidays quickly approach, we want to send our best wishes to you and your family for all the happiness this season brings, and that not only will you be blessed in the New Year, but so will the lives of others whose lives you touch.

-Gary Cardillo

It was September 2001, and we were in our home for a year when we encountered our first storm. Not having the sophisticated meteorologist and radar we have today, I noticed it was getting breezy and had no idea what was on its way. A friend of mine said, “Are you ready for Gabrielle?” I replied, “We never met; who is she?” Sensing my ignorance, my friend replied, “Get ready; you’ll meet her in a few hours.” Little did I realize I would be trading in hors d’oeuvres for hours trying to lower the Bahama shutters we had. That was nature’s way of spoon-feeding me the storms that were yet to come.

Having lived on the water most of my life, I vividly recollect Hurricanes Agnes and Gloria years later impacting Long Island, where yachts of all sizes were strewn over the island beaches. While it was a very sobering reminder of man’s weakness in contrast to nature’s strength, those experiences paled by comparison to the destructive forces we’ve encountered since moving to Florida 25 years ago.

It seems like yesterday when Hurricane Charlie impacted our area, and we stood in disbelief, seeing many of our homes and communities lying in ruin. I initially thought this was something we were only supposed to see on TV, not experience first-hand, as camera crews, National Guard troops, Florida’s Governor Jeb Bush, and other responders descended on our area. It was also our first encounter with the Weather Channel’s Jim Cantore, who, after all these years of visits to our area, may want to consider a permanent residence! Perhaps it is like a boxer getting a punch that sends him to the canvas but has the heart and desire to pick himself back up to continue the fight, and that is what we did.

Since then, we have encountered a host of other hurricanes and tropical storms, including the recent back-to-back hurricanes of Helene and Milton, and through it all, I am overwhelmed by the resiliency of our community, our neighbors, and our restaurant and store owners who have picked up the pieces and are forging ahead.

I have found that through these storms, there are many life lessons to be learned. Unfortunately, there will always be those who plan for Armageddon and clear out store shelves of the basic necessities or take enough gas to get them to the moon and back, never considering the needs of others. For most of us, they are a sobering reminder of what is important in life. We have built stronger bonds with friends, neighbors, and loved ones in their time of need. We’ve given our time and treasures to help our communities recover and supported the local businesses that have served us so well throughout the years. There was never a thought of repayment for our efforts, we were in this together.

We all get wrapped up in our day-to-day lives where we count on tomorrow to get together with friends or make the call that is long overdue. I’m as guilty as it seems, like years pass like months and weeks pass like days, only to have these storms put life in a different perspective. My most vivid reminder of the importance of our relationships was during Hurricane Charlie. Since we were all without power, we came out of our homes seeking relief from the heat and humidity inside and found ourselves catching up with friends and neighbors for the first time in months. Unfortunately, once power was restored, we returned to our homes and resumed our way of life, where we offered a simple wave as we passed.

Some may feel it is time to turn the page and start a new chapter in their lives where these storms no longer take a physical and emotional toll on them, while others feel the quality of life Florida affords more than offsets the infrequent storms that impact our areas. To me, the lessons are learned from the pause we are forced to take during our efforts to recover.

We often think of Thanksgiving and the holidays that follow as the time of year to give thanks for the blessings we’ve received. It is also the start of a season that beckons us to be more compassionate and giving to our loved ones. While the holidays are full of promise and merriment, the storms we endure create lasting bonds, almost like those that have served together in war. We set aside our differences and give of ourselves in service to others. Isn’t that what a life well lived is supposed to be about? Unfortunately, sometimes it takes a storm to get us back on track and bring out the best in us.

While the aftermath of these storms has left many of our streets looking like Spooky Walks littered with debris and ghost-like ships that occupy some of our area parks, the appearance of Halloween costumes and soon-to-be Christmas decorations are our reminder of the enjoyment we receive from these simple pleasures life affords us. However, our recovery together, especially this year, has created a more robust community bond far more valuable than anything we could have imagined.

-Gary Cardillo

Maybe it was during the sweet innocence of my childhood when we were aware of some of the positions or wealth those around us had, but for some reason, we saw them as peers or equals. We didn’t judge them on their financial statements; we just knew them as friends.

Summers were always the time of year I looked most forward to. We water-skied, swam, went to the beach, played golf, camped out, played hours of flashlight tag, and even snuck out at night just to talk about our day even more. As I’ve grown older, I think of those fond memories, but I realize even more that it was the close friends I had who made those moments in time so special.

Moving to Florida has been a continuation of those special friendships and moments similar to the enjoyment of those early childhood years. While some activities have changed, the spirited banter has remained the same. One couple who have become our close friends are Greg and Toni White. Both had very successful corporate positions, but like those I grew up with, they were more interested in celebrating their friendships than talking about their accomplishments. While very talented, the contagiousness of their personalities appeals to so many, but it doesn’t end there.

Several years ago, Toni approached me to help her find a home for her mother, Lin, a widow living in California. While she loved her life in California, Toni felt that her mom was getting older, and it made more sense to have her move closer to her. She quickly became part of a group of friends we met at St. Andrew’s South Golf Club, a course in the heart of the waterfront community of Punta Gorda Isles. Unlike most women her age, Lin, or as many of her close friends who affectionately called her “Mumsie,” became part of the gang and attended most of the club’s social events.

Linda Warwick was born in 1934 and grew up in the east end of London, living with her grandparents, parents, and three uncles in a small home. The east end of London was where the docks were located, and the River Thames ran behind their house. As a young child, factories were turning into munitions plants before her eyes, and a few short years later, the U.K. entered the war. It would be hard for anyone at five or six years of age living in the United States to appreciate the ravages of war. Still, with London being one of the largest cities in the world at that time and home to the British Empire, it became a vital target of the German Wehrmact, (armed forces). On September 7, 1940, later known as “Black Sunday,” the Germans unleashed their fury in a blitzkrieg (lightning war) with 300 bombers targeting London in the first of 57 consecutive nights that continued for the next eight months. Forced to find shelter any way they could, homes in their community were being destroyed, and with the continuous sound of gunfire and sirens echoing in their ears, it was a sobering reminder that their home could be next. Like so many others, they became “evacuees” and retreated to the safety of the countryside, having to, at times, share a home with other displaced families. While it appeared to offer a safer environment, they could see the glowing fires from the bombing raids in the various towns and cities from afar.

As a young child, she experienced the worst and best life had to offer. Despite the war’s displacement and hardship on her family, Linda recalled those beautiful memories of taking walks in the countryside. She will never forget the day the King and Queen of England came to the area they were living in to show empathy as Buckingham Palace had also been bombed.

Throughout this time, Linda’s father worked as a fireman in London and occasionally would get leave to visit his family. She said he worked long hours in the east end of London, called “Mile End.” Eventually, he was offered a dilapidated house next to a factory, and while there were only three remaining homes on the street, the rest being destroyed from the continual bombing, they were thrilled to be back together under one roof. With the bombing subsiding as the focal point of the war moved away from the city, Linda and her new friends returned to school and recalled the kindness of the teachers who would give up their free time to take the children on hikes or create some diversion to take their minds off the war, which was never far away and often sent them to air raid shelters. Teachers were called into service, and Linda recalled that 25 children from her school were killed during that time.

With the German front moving to the desert and Russia, curfews were being lifted, and the children were allowed to stay out and play for extended periods of time. A community pool was reopened, and Linda’s school was due to go the following day when the wailing sounds of an air raid siren sent Linda and her family scrambling through the adjoining factory for safety as the sound of bombs could be heard all around. Once the attack subsided, her dad went out to check the destruction only to come back a short while later saying their family home had been destroyed; in fact, most of the remaining homes in the community lay in ruins.

Despite the heartache of war, Linda recalls those special moments during the war when friends, relatives, and teachers would give of themselves to make sure the children were spared as much of the horrors of the war as possible. Later on in life, Linda would reflect on how resilient, tenacious, and determined they were not only to survive but to restore their country to its glory once again.

After graduating high school, Linda became a library assistant at the University of London. She then eventually moved to Canada, where she and her husband were married in Toronto in 1954. They moved to the United States in 1963, where Linda worked as a secretary, and Ron accepted a job as a sound engineer, which he enjoyed for almost 30 years. After Ron’s passing, Linda’s daughter Toni suggested Linda move closer to where she lived, as her brother was also living in Florida.

It’s hard to imagine the scars of war, but like service members who have fought together or those who have come from the oppression of their homelands, they have a greater appreciation for the simple things we take for granted. Linda was one of those people, and her biggest fear, she shared with her daughter, was not the move but whether she was going to be able to make new friends.

Years ago, I had a middle school teacher tell our class how fortunate we would be if we could count on one hand the number of close friends we had. As Lin was approaching her 90th birthday on July 25th, Toni and her husband Greg were planning a surprise birthday party for her at a local restaurant, to which almost 100 of her closest friends were invited. Unfortunately, five days prior to her celebrated day, she passed away.

To some, this would be a sad way to end such a story, but like many things in life, lessons are learned from our most difficult experiences. Lin’s story doesn’t end with her passing, but the 90th birthday surprise that became her Celebration of Life, where stories were shared by so many whose lives were impacted by her. The story best told was by her daughter Toni, who recalled having past boyfriends show up unannounced at their home when she was getting ready to go out on a date. When asked what they were doing there, they would reply, “We didn’t come to see you; we came to see your mother!”

Like so many others, we will miss her contagious smile, the kind words she had for others, and seeing her at many social events at the club. She made the most of her friendships and earned the love of many. Lin is a reminder of what is essential in life and what a “life well lived” really means. It’s not about who has the most toys that wins; it is the impact one’s life has on others. In this challenging world in which we live today, Lin was the sugar that made each day a bit sweeter.

-Gary Cardillo

Tyler’s words resonated with me as I looked back at all the teams I coached and my interaction with his teammates. Many of his teams in those early years were young boys first getting acquainted with a sport; others had rosters consisting of both boys and girls. I shared with them my feelings that playing a sport was more than a game and that it provided so many lessons that would benefit them throughout life. They would learn how to compete individually and as a team member and how those lessons learned could transfer to their academic and career goals of accomplishment. It was also a life lesson for me, as some of the children I coached didn’t come from the stable family environment in which I grew up. For some, this was their only outlet of enjoyment away from the trials of home. Others were only playing to please a parent who wanted to relive their playing days where their memories of their athletic prowess may have convinced them they were much more talented than they were. I vividly recall one young boy who couldn’t make any baseball practices because he came from a single-parent home, and his mother had to work two jobs to make ends meet. On the day of our baseball game, I had him in the lineup, and his teammates couldn’t understand why I would allow him to play at a critical point when he didn’t come to practice. I shared with them that not everyone was as fortunate as them, and there may be a time in their lives when they, too, may not be qualified to make the team or get the job they wanted, but they did because someone was willing to give them a chance.

One experience I still hold dear to this day was of a young elementary school boy who had a daily history of getting into schoolyard fights and disrupting his classmates. My major was Psychology, and one of my Behavioral Psychology course requirements was to mentor a child outside of our college campus setting. Visiting my old elementary school, the principal told me they had a child who was not responding to his teachers and was rebellious at home. My first meeting with “Bobby” was as advertised as he proudly talked about his fights on the school grounds and showed little interest in anything else. Through our interactions, I found that Bobby couldn’t read, at least not very well, and it wasn’t until I taught him how to read that I realized that his aggression was compensated for his academic lack of confidence. Soon, he brought me books he was reading and would proudly tell me he was no longer fighting. He even broke up a couple of fights. I couldn’t have been more proud of him.

Some measure success in the goals they achieve for themselves or the financial status they have gained, but as I’ve grown older, the most significant rewards are not the things we necessarily do for ourselves but what we do that inspires others. To me, Mother’s Day or Father’s Day is as much for foster parents as it is for those willing to unselfishly give of themselves to mentor others, making them every bit fitting to be considered surrogate “Mothers” or “Fathers.”

The magical memories I had in coaching our son and his teammates will last me a lifetime, but it wasn’t until Tyler expressed his desire to help others through coaching and mentoring that I felt I succeeded as a dad.

-Gary Cardillo

While it has been easy for me to celebrate their accomplishments through our newsletters, this time, I’m going out on a limb as, for the first time, I’m writing about someone whose literary talent as a writer, journalist, and author is somewhat intimidating. Those who read our newsletters have been complimentary of my writing style; however, this time, I feel like the kid who plays baseball in a schoolyard and is now stepping into the big leagues and asking to play with the New York Yankees.

I’ve gone through many drafts for this month’s interview and have been unsettled in my attempts to capture the essence of this talented lady and the multitude of life lessons that can be garnered from her books until now. Initially, I intended to write about my high school classmate’s success in becoming a highly acclaimed author. I had heard about her books for some time, but it wasn’t until recently when I set aside some time to read her book “No Past Tense,” that I knew there was much more I needed to share.

D.Z. Stone, known as “Donna” to her classmates and close friends, grew up surrounded by her father’s “Polish Catholic” family, in a primarily Polish and Portuguese immigrant section of Mineola, Long Island, New York. Her early life is as interesting as the twists and turns in her novels. Growing up above her father’s bar, she met all kinds of people, from World War II veterans to the Polish and Portuguese people of the neighborhood; experiencing their cultural differences. Being of part-Jewish descent, Donna was more attuned to the inherent cultural bigotries than most of us kids during that time. As a teenager, Donna recalled how she first became aware of anti-Semitism when it was discovered that a Latvian war criminal by the name of Boleslavs Maikovskis had been living only blocks away from her family and whose home she passed on her way to church, the same church he attended every day. Donna said she knew his wife, a “regular” at her Grandmother’s weekly ladies’ Pokeno game. When it came out, he was a senior police officer in Latvia who ordered the mass execution of Jews, some of his neighbors felt the war was long over and were willing to move on and “let the old man alone.” Donna was shocked that people were willing to give him a “pass” even before they knew the details of the charges against him.

When I asked Donna what sparked her interest in writing, she said she was somewhat encouraged when she would get papers back from her professors in college, and they would write across the top of the page, “Well Written!” Until then, she thought everyone could write and didn’t look at it from the perspective that perhaps she did have a writing talent. It wasn’t until her senior year at the College of William and Mary that Donna’s advisor heard she could write and suggested she take a writing course as an elective. Following her advisor’s advice, she took “playwriting,” to her surprise; Donna did well enough to feel she had finally found what she was meant to do: be a playwright! Unfortunately, after graduation, her career as a writer was put on hold as a fire destroyed her father’s bar and the family apartment upstairs, and she devoted her time to helping her family get back in business. Now up and running again, Donna packed her car with her Cocker Spaniel and drove to Ithaca, NY, where her boyfriend was in graduate school. Once there, she answered an ad for the “traffic manager” position at a local radio station. Having no idea what a traffic manager did, Donna humorously added, “It sounded better than making bagels and pumping gas.” She recalls going into WVBR-FM, a student-run commercial radio station independent from Cornell University, where she met with the station’s Personnel Director (Keith Olbermann) and General Manager (David Goldsmith), who convinced her if she took the position, she could enter the station’s training program that could potentially give her air clearance to go on the radio. With an opportunity such as this, Donna not only succeeded as a full-time traffic manager but also did the evening and weekend news and, for a time, hosted a Sunday talk show. In addition to all these hats she was now wearing, Donna wrote a daily feature called “90 Seconds”, which were short essays on any topic she wanted to write about that could be humorous, serious, or both. Soon, various board members of the radio station who heard Donna’s “90 Seconds” short essays approached her with other opportunities that included interviewing rock stars who came to Cornell and Ithaca and making radio documentaries for Cornell Media Services. Donna’s career as a journalist was born.

Eventually, Donna moved from Ithaca closer to New York City, where her writing career would take another turn to financial and corporate writing that would include a variety of formats such as articles, interactive text for computer speeches, scripts for commercials, annual reports, broker and investor brochures as well as talking points for media interviews. While this seems to be the furthest genre from her “90 Seconds” short essays, Donna said it was the collective variety of these writing formats she would use to create a “new narrative” structure in telling Salcer’s story in No Past Tense.

No Past Tense: Love and Survival in the Shadow of the Holocaust is the intriguing story of the lives of William and Katarina Salcer, or as the reader will come to know them, Willi and Kati. Never intended to be a published biography, it was at their son Ron’s request to know the entire story of their lives, which had been too painful for them to share. Now, in the twilight years of their lives, Willi and Kati agreed to share their entire story; otherwise, as Kati said, “What’s the point?”

With her vast experience as a writer who also holds a master’s degree in Cultural Anthropology from Columbia University, Donna masterfully takes you on the historical journey of Katarina Kellner (Kati) and William Salcer (Willi), two teenage Czech Jews from prominent families, who are unwittingly swept up by the Holocaust in Hungary and forced to survive in the notorious concentration camps of Auschwitz and Mauthausen. Through the intimacy of her year-long in-person interviews with Willi and Kati, their story took on a life of its own; as you are no longer reading history, you are living it.

It is not just a story of surviving the concentration camps but also a life lesson in overcoming the disappointments life throws you. Beginning with their harrowing escape to start a new beginning in Israel, Willi then used his engineering background to help fortify military tanks, develop a V belt product that reduced maintenance costs for the government, and served in the Israeli military, only to feel his country turned on him when they were fiscally short on money and audited his business at great expense to him; just some of the many disappointments they had to overcome.

Moving to America, New York in particular, Willi, a self-described “guy with a funny Czech accent” had difficulty finding a job. To support his family and with a keen eye to opportunity, the former factory owner and head of Israel’s Manufacturers Association, took a mid-level job with a button and bead maker. Willi would share his vision with his employers on how to grow their business while creating the machinery to increase productivity, only to be let go, told they were looking towards retirement. To get a better return, Willi went for a higher-risk investment, resulting in his losing his life savings and finding himself penniless and jobless in America.

With the enduring support of his loving wife, Willi finally goes on to create a business that becomes a huge success. While their story has a gratifying ending , Donna has masterfully taken the reader from two teenagers who have overcome significant obstacles to attain success to a teaching moment in survival, perseverance, and entrepreneurship while capturing the essence of true love.

What started as a son’s sole desire to learn of the historic journey his parents endured has evolved into an acclaimed biography in 673 universities and public libraries, Ivy League colleges, large state schools, and military academies. It is included in Catholic colleges as well as Jewish theological seminaries. Perhaps most impressive, No Past Tense resides in the Holocaust Museum in Washington D.C. and is permanently housed at the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum’s Shapell Center. It continues to get rave reviews, as Donna recently received a “thank you” from a Nobel Prize Winner for No Past Tense.

D.Z. Stone and No Past Tense were recently featured in an LA Times article on the Salcers’ son Ron by the sportswriter Helene Elliot. Entitled “The most meaningful deal he ever negotiated. Hockey agent turned his parents’ experiences into a book, possibly movie too.” The article also features Dr. Holli Levitsky who teaches “No Past Tense” at Loyola Marymount University. Levitsky calls the book timeless on many levels, including learning about anti-Semitism, which can help students process and better understand current world events.

Many of us can credit much of our success to those who inspired and encouraged us. For Donna, she is eternally grateful to our late former classmate and class President, George Gales, for convincing her that if possible she should go away to college and see more of the world, and that it was okay to let people know she was smart. He added, “Just don’t be a jerk about it.”

Some consider gifts the presents they receive, especially at this time of year. For me, it is making new friends, reconnecting with friends from years ago, and celebrating their accomplishments. Donna is that gift. She is much more than a classmate from Mineola High School in the 70s who has attained much-deserved success. As we reconnected, I found Donna is as she writes. She’s humble, compassionate, and relatable while celebrating the lives of others. More importantly, Donna is leaving a legacy where future generations can benefit from the life lessons that grace each page of her books. It’s a gift I hope to leave and one that isn’t just for the holiday season.

For those who have a love of history, make sure to read her other books, “A Fairy Tale Unmasked” and “Spies” which is featured in a collection of America’s most talented storytellers entitled “Coolest American Stories 2022.”

To all our friends both old and new, we hope this holiday season brings you much peace and joy and the New Year is full of good health, happiness and memories to be made.

-Gary Cardillo

• My recipe for cooking a turkey is salt it and put it in the stove for 10 minutes. It might have a baby turkey inside. — Johnny, first grade, Western Wayne

• First you get a turkey from the store, then you put it in the stove. After you cook it you put sauce on it. When you put sauce on it you have to let it cool down. Then you are ready to eat it. I am thankful for our turkey, our family, and the whole world. I love Thanksgiving. — Kinze VanMeter, second grade, Hagerstown

• First, put your turkey in the oven. When your turkey is cooked, put your turkey on a plate and put some apples, pears and other fruits around it. Next, stuff your turkey with a filling you like, such as chocolate. — Greta Royer, second grade, homeschool

• My recipe for cooking a turkey is… 1. Put some sugar in a bowl. 2. Put some salt. 3. Put some dough in it and start squashing it up. 4. Put it in the oven for 20 minutes. 5. Cut it and let it cool down. Then… IT IS TIME TO EAT!!!! — Ben, second grade , Western Wayne

What are some things kids are thankful for?

• I am thankful for the USA, family, friends, shelter, school, animals, teachers, drinks, food, God, Jesus, heaven, cards, worlds, Thanksgiving, paper, mom, dad, clothes, shoes, smiling, Presidents, computers, showers, spelling, glue sticks, crayons, books, bun things, hearts, bodies, pictures, balls, teeth, money, headbands and our city. — Jozelynne McFall, second grade, Westview

• I am thankful for a lot of things. Family, friends, food. But one of the things I am most thankful for, is music. The music that saves lives. The kind of music that expresses yourself. I am thankful for the melodies, and the harmonies. I’m thankful for the sound. I am thankful for music. Whether it be rock, hip hop, rap, country… I am happy it is a part of my life. For it is what saved me. Thank you, music. — Faith Maiden, sixth grade, Lincoln Middle School

• I love my family. I bet you love your family too. I love my brother, do you? I love to learn stuff from adults well sometimes. I am thankful for God because he saved us from the Devil. — Tyler Jones, second grade, Westview

Source: Pal-Item

In the midst of life’s hustle, it’s easy to overlook the beauty of thanksgiving—the genuine appreciation for the people and moments that make our lives extraordinary. This year, let’s pause to rediscover that essence, to rekindle the warmth of memories that still flicker in our hearts.Thanksgiving isn’t merely a date on the calendar; it’s a sanctuary for the soul, a haven where we retreat to acknowledge the tapestry of love and connection that weaves through the fabric of our lives. It’s a time to embrace the nostalgia of laughter echoing in the walls, the aroma of cherished recipes filling the air, and the joy that radiates from the bonds we share.

In a world that often feels divided, Thanksgiving calls us back to the sacred space of appreciation. Let’s express gratitude not just for the abundance on our tables but for the richness found in the embrace of loved ones, the shared glances that speak volumes, and the unspoken understanding that binds us together.

As we carve into the turkey and savor each bite of tradition, let’s also carve a space in our hearts to cherish the simple yet profound moments that define our lives. In a world that sometimes seems to spin too fast, Thanksgiving beckons us to slow down, to savor the flavors of gratitude and bask in the warmth of togetherness.

May this Thanksgiving be a gentle reminder that amidst the chaos, the core of our humanity lies in the connections we forge and the love we share. Here’s to the timeless moments that linger in our memories, to the bonds that withstand the test of time, and to the appreciation that transforms ordinary days into extraordinary celebrations.

Wishing you and your families aThanksgiving filled with the warmth of love, the joy of shared moments, and the beauty of genuine gratitude.

Taking time away from the computer and the endless paperwork to read a good Nelson DeMille novel is entertaining and gets my creative juices flowing. His books are full of history and suspense, and the ever-present sarcastic wit of his iconic character, John Corey, someone my wife will tell you, resonates with me. However, even more inspiring to me is music.

Every generation has its favorite recording artists and songs, and while some may disagree, music is a language that touches the soul. It’s perhaps one of the last avenues where people can communicate with each other and where emotions and beliefs can be expressed often without fear of a harsh response. Music makes my heart sing, and I find it takes you on a journey through your life. Most people I know can tell you where they were or what they were doing when a particular song they heard hit the airwaves. While listening to music at home or on a road trip is gratifying, there is nothing like seeing your favorite songs performed live.

Today, you hear terms like “Cover bands,” “Tribute Bands,” and, to some extent, “Impersonators.” It was explained to me, “Impersonators dress like the artists. Cover bands perform the songs but often add their creative interpretation to the music, while Tribute bands have a higher level of audience expectation. It is a full-on symphony and tribute to a great composer or composition.” Vocally and instrumentally, the music is played as close to how the original artist recorded it. To be able to play note for note and vocalize with similar accuracy, I find not only entertaining but captivating.

Todd Pitts is a name you may not recognize, but this gifted musician is akin to the Rich Little of Music, where he has founded not one, but ten tribute bands that pay homage to those recording artists that have touched our lives in one way or another. I first heard Todd’s band, “The Alter Eagles,” an Eagle’s tribute band he founded, play at the Visani Italian Steakhouse and Comedy Theater. I was amazed by how close this talented group of musicians duplicated the vocals and instrumental work of the original Eagles band. Not only did they play each song to perfection, but they were multi-instrumentalists as well. However, despite his success, Todd’s story is a winding tale of a young man’s dream that was derailed, and it took years for that desire to be fulfilled.

Influenced by his mother, an accomplished singer, Todd and his brother started perfecting their vocal skills, paying close attention to the inflections in how each song was performed. Instrumentally, Todd admits he is self-taught, learning to play by ear. Humbly, he classifies himself as “utilitarian,” or in other words, “A singer who plays guitar and drums,” an understatement if you ask me. Todd tells of how they formed a band and were performing from Thursday through Saturday at a local bottle club, an after-hours club in the Tampa area; however, on the final night of this run, he crashed his car in front of the Curtis Hixon Hall in Tampa, ironically the venue where he saw his first concert featuring the band “Rush” four years prior. His music career would take a detour and a dream delayed. For the next 11 years, Todd would serve as a combat paramedic in the U.S. Army in one capacity or another in what he describes as the “Straight Leg Infantry.” During that time, he was stationed for two years in Berlin and eventually transitioned to the mechanized unit out of Fort Polk. He continued his medical specialty, transitioning as a dermatology tech, helping treat patients in various hospitals.

In 1992, Todd entered what he described as “The World of Corporate America,” where Lanier employed him and sold copiers and fax machines. After that, he joined the tech world selling computers with 3-D modeling and effects capabilities. Todd recounted how these systems were used to create Pixar and Jurassic Park animation movies. As with many of us resigned to pursue a career more out of necessity than desire, it appeared Todd was inevitably destined to follow the same path until open heart surgery in 2001 was the awakening he needed. He decided to follow his passion.

In one of my previous newsletters, I mentioned that as a young teenager, we formed a rock and roll band and envisioned ourselves as the next Beatles, as I’m sure most kids did then. The thought one day we’d be playing in front of an audience was a thrill beyond our young imaginations. Of course, reality set in, and our careers were short-lived. However, I gained an inexpressible appreciation for those who can capture the performance of the original artists in such a way that it takes us back to those special moments in our lives. As I’ve gotten older, I find there is a time when we are the most creative, and if not acted upon, it seems to pass. For some, it lasts longer than others, which I find astounding when I think of the number of songs Paul McCartney and John Lennon penned in a relatively short time. Todd summed it up best: “It’s about applying creativity to life.” That time came to Todd 14 years ago when he wanted to recreate the tracks of the original artists as close as possible. He recounts that they performed only 15 shows in the first year, and by the second year, it had expanded to 35. Today, they perform 140 to 150 shows per year. What started as an Eagles tribute band has now grown to 9 additional tribute acts that pay homage to Creedence Clearwater Revival, Tom Petty, The Rolling Stones, Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young, Simon and Garfunkel, The Bee Gees, The Doobie Brothers, Steve Miller and America. Todd’s wife Chandra, who mixes the sound for the band at each show, added, “While our shows have expanded, so have our loyal fans. Each 4th of July, we are the featured band at the historic Daytona Beach Band Shell and have played to audiences approaching 20,000.”

While the number of shows has expanded, and their audience has grown, Todd said their greatest joy and satisfaction comes when looking out from the stage and seeing the smiles and emotions across each face in the crowd. He recounts witnessing a couple during their Simon and Garfunkel show where they closed with the song ”Sound of Silence.” “They were sitting in the front row, and as they moved closer to each other, you could see the emotion that came over their faces….it turned out it was their wedding song.” He tells of their Bee Gees tribute show they performed in Sun City when the crowd of 700 started singing back to the song they were playing. Todd said, “We stopped singing, and the crowd took control of the experience.” “And then you have a young girl in tears as we performed Desperado during our Eagles tribute show.”

Todd summed it best when he said, “Music is very honest and brings you back to those special times in your life.” I often think, in the world in which we live, perhaps music isn’t just a way of escaping some of life’s challenges for a brief moment or two but may be one of the best forms of communication we could have with each other where all our differences are put aside, and we can enjoy the best life has to offer……. together.

To view all their upcoming tribute events, go to www.ClassicTributeslive.com, but book your evening to remember early, as they sell out fast.

-Gary Cardillo