A Life Lesson in the True Meaning of Thanksgiving

Gary Cardillo — Tue, 26 Nov 2019 20:12:00 +0000

Do you ever feel it is easier to express your feelings of gratitude when things are going your way? You received a good medical report. The job you were hoping for came to fruition. The item you were saving to buy just went on sale and what about the prayers that were answered when your team won? While it is easy to be appreciative when it seems everything we touch turns to gold, I’m amazed at how complacent we become when the blessings we receive are met with a sense of expectation and less about appreciation.
One person who through the years has shown me an attitude of gratitude is my very dear friend Donna Gill Cardenas. For those who don’t know Donna, she and her brother Dennis are the owners of Port Charlotte Florist, and in one way or another most likely you’ve either seen or received some of this special lady’s floral arrangements.

Donna grew up in Warwick, New York where her parents owned a garden center and farm. Donna said it was like a predecessor to Home Depot as they carried everything for your landscaping needs from mulch and landscape pavers for walkways and patios to plants and flowers. Donna said we also had every kind of animal you could think of, “you name it, we had it, and all five of us kids worked in the business.”
When she turned thirteen Donna’s father decided to move the family to Florida as the cold upstate New York winters were taking a physical toll on him and Florida looked like the perfect place to retire, a retirement that didn’t last very long. Her mom went to work for Charlotte County Clerk, Barbara Scott, while her dad bought a small flower shop. Being the entrepreneur he was, Donna’s dad expanded the business to five locations throughout Port Charlotte and Punta Gorda. While her three brothers owned and worked in their wholesale garden center, Donna worked for her dad. However, as the business grew her dad felt with perishable items such as flowers it would be more beneficial to consolidate everything into a centralized location. So in 1983 he built the store at 900 Tamiami Trail in Port Charlotte where the business operates today.

Donna’s oldest brother Bobby passed away at 36 and shortly thereafter the boys sold their wholesale nursery business. Her next oldest brother Mike continued in the nursery business while in 2007 Donna and her brother Dennis bought the floral shop from their parents. While Donna’s creative floral handprint can be seen on most of the major events throughout the area, not to mention the scores of weddings and other social events she has designed, I can tell you first hand, having been in this industry myself, this is not an easy business to run, especially when life presents you with lemons. People used to ask me, “This must be such a fun business to be in. You get to design and create a host of special events.” My reply was always, “If you only knew what went on behind the scenes to create these events you would wonder how we could still have a hair left on our heads.” If you know Donna, you know she makes a very difficult job look easy. She is the consummate problem solver who thinks quickly on her feet and who has that uncanny ability to turn someone’s tears into smiles in anticipation of their special day. It is this gift that has served her well through the challenges she’s faced personally and as a business owner.
In 2007, Donna met her husband Steve. At the time she was a foster parent having already adopted one child of her own however, once Steve became her husband Donna became an instant mother to five children. She joked, “No longer was I able to foster as we literally ran out of room!” She added with a smile, “I always wanted a large family and suddenly I had one. Steve’s kids meant the world to me and I was blessed beyond measure, taking my role as being a Mom very seriously.”

It is hard enough to grasp the challenge of balancing the needs of a large family and running a business at the same time however, few can appreciate the tremendous struggle one faces when they are trying to create a special day for someone while they themselves are working through a debilitating pain or illness. Unfortunately, this is exactly what happened to Donna. Having been misdiagnosed as having Trigeminal Neuralgia, an excruciating facial nerve pain, Donna underwent two brain surgeries in six years with no relief, only to be referred to Johns Hopkins hospital who then diagnosed her as having a severe case of TMJ that didn’t require brain surgery in the first place. It was around that time her son Dominic was diagnosed with Stage 4 Glioblastoma, a terminal brain cancer. For four years her son valiantly fought this illness, surpassing the average one and a half year lifespan for someone with this type of cancer however, in June, Dominic finally succumbed to his illness. Also during this time her husband Steve, was diagnosed with kidney cancer and just recently her four year old grandson was diagnosed with Leukemia.

When I asked, ” With wave after wave of debilitating challenges, how do you maintain such a positive attitude of gratitude? ” Donna replied by saying, “God always provides, but it was also lessons learned through Dominic that despite his poor prognosis. “ She said, Dominic often stated that he didn’t want to be a burden to anyone and that given the choice to be either depressed and feel that life was unfair, or be an inspiration and uplift others, he would choose to be the latter . Donna went on to say, ” God also has always provided family, friends and even strangers to help.”

Her business partner and brother, Dennis, was there to take care of things so she could care for Dominic. Her sister Mary, who also works with them, was a tremendous help as were the countless other family members and friends who were always willing to lend a hand. It was through their generosity that enabled Donna to be where she needed to be, caring for her son and family.However, it was years ago on a Mission trip to Ecuador that Donna was inspirationally touched by a man named Chavez. Donna said, “Here was a man who lost his entire family to a guerilla militant group and was surrounded by poverty, but he looked like he had a hanger stuck in his mouth as he had the widest smile I had ever seen.” Today she says, “Each day, during my thirty minute drive time to and back from work I use this time to think of Chavez who lost everything and think how fortunate I am.”

Donna with her son, Dominic

Despite the challenges Dominic faced, Donna said he always felt so sad for the small children he saw in the hospital fighting cancer. He would often tell her, “I got to go to high school. I had the opportunity to play sports and be with my friends, these children don’t have those same opportunities.” It was those life lessons from Dominic that enables Donna to put her challenges into perspective, while being an inspiration to others. Running a floral shop, along with coordinating other entities such as lighting and linens to create an entire event package is extremely time consuming, but somehow Donna has carved out time to be on the Board of The Virginia B. Andes Volunteer Community Center and a financial supporter for virtually every non-profit organization in the area such as the Homeless Coalition, The Boys and Girls Club and Crossroads Kids, in addition to the Chambers of Commerce, Younglife and the area churches. She said, “While it is hard to financially give to so many organizations that have legitimate needs, Dennis and I both discount our services and donate our time and energies to helping wherever we can.”

Another great example of their creative giving, Port Charlotte Florist is hosting a special class where they donate the time and flowers for 50 people to create two floral arrangements each and these 100 arrangements will then be delivered to families who wouldn’t have flowers for Thanksgiving. Donna said, ” The premise behind this gift is many times special loved ones can’t be together, but the person on the receiving end feels those that couldn’t be present physically were there emotionally to share in this special day of Thanksgiving .” She added, ” It also teaches the giver the reward they receive will be even greater than the receiver, and I for one have always felt we were blessed ten times over the amount we gave.” Donna continued her thought by saying, “I was always fortunate to have parents who were very giving and gracious. I married a man who embodies the same principles in giving of your talents and treasures to comfort others. I’m blessed to be in business with family that also shares the belief we should bless those around us, and to share our love.” With humility Donna said, “Having all these people in my life is what makes me look so good, and that includes Dominic.” “Dominic always wanted to help everyone,” Donna shared with me, and to perpetuate “Dom’s” desire to give, especially in a sport he loved, Donna and her husband Steve have started the Dominic Cardenas’ Scholarship Fund which awards a scholarship to a high school male and female cross country or track runner.

I asked Donna if she had any final thoughts, especially for this time of year when we sit around the Thanksgiving table giving thanks for the blessings we’ve received. She replied by saying, “I think about the day I will die and go to heaven and God says to me, “I gave you a gift. What did you do with the gift I gave you?” Her reply made me realize there is a lot to be thankful for that we take for granted, and that I too need to use the gifts I have to help brighten the lives of others.

We send our wishes to you and your family for a blessed Thanksgiving, and if you would like to give to the Dominic Cardenas Scholarship Fund you can do so by going to https://charlottecf.org/dominic-cardenas-memorial-fund/

-Gary Cardillo

The Gary Cardillo Group

A Life Lesson in the True Meaning of Thanksgiving