What first thought comes to mind when you think of Mother’s Day or Father’s Day? Is it a special day when we take time to celebrate ourselves as parents to our children, or is it something much more? It wasn’t until a recent comment our son, Tyler, made to me the other day about his desire to help coach kids in his spare time that I realized these special days aren’t meant to recognize us as parents to our children.
Tyler’s words resonated with me as I looked back at all the teams I coached and my interaction with his teammates. Many of his teams in those early years were young boys first getting acquainted with a sport; others had rosters consisting of both boys and girls. I shared with them my feelings that playing a sport was more than a game and that it provided so many lessons that would benefit them throughout life. They would learn how to compete individually and as a team member and how those lessons learned could transfer to their academic and career goals of accomplishment. It was also a life lesson for me, as some of the children I coached didn’t come from the stable family environment in which I grew up. For some, this was their only outlet of enjoyment away from the trials of home. Others were only playing to please a parent who wanted to relive their playing days where their memories of their athletic prowess may have convinced them they were much more talented than they were. I vividly recall one young boy who couldn’t make any baseball practices because he came from a single-parent home, and his mother had to work two jobs to make ends meet. On the day of our baseball game, I had him in the lineup, and his teammates couldn’t understand why I would allow him to play at a critical point when he didn’t come to practice. I shared with them that not everyone was as fortunate as them, and there may be a time in their lives when they, too, may not be qualified to make the team or get the job they wanted, but they did because someone was willing to give them a chance.
One experience I still hold dear to this day was of a young elementary school boy who had a daily history of getting into schoolyard fights and disrupting his classmates. My major was Psychology, and one of my Behavioral Psychology course requirements was to mentor a child outside of our college campus setting. Visiting my old elementary school, the principal told me they had a child who was not responding to his teachers and was rebellious at home. My first meeting with “Bobby” was as advertised as he proudly talked about his fights on the school grounds and showed little interest in anything else. Through our interactions, I found that Bobby couldn’t read, at least not very well, and it wasn’t until I taught him how to read that I realized that his aggression was compensated for his academic lack of confidence. Soon, he brought me books he was reading and would proudly tell me he was no longer fighting. He even broke up a couple of fights. I couldn’t have been more proud of him.
Some measure success in the goals they achieve for themselves or the financial status they have gained, but as I’ve grown older, the most significant rewards are not the things we necessarily do for ourselves but what we do that inspires others. To me, Mother’s Day or Father’s Day is as much for foster parents as it is for those willing to unselfishly give of themselves to mentor others, making them every bit fitting to be considered surrogate “Mothers” or “Fathers.”
The magical memories I had in coaching our son and his teammates will last me a lifetime, but it wasn’t until Tyler expressed his desire to help others through coaching and mentoring that I felt I succeeded as a dad.
-Gary Cardillo
While most people would like to talk about themselves, Gary and Gail have always put their clients first, and their diverse backgrounds have provided their clients an unparalleled level of service and knowledge throughout the past years.