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The Perfect Mom

May 11, 2019 by Gary Cardillo

The Perfect Mom

I have often thought about the qualities that would make a mother perfect in the eyes of their children, husband or friends, and I realized not only did I have the perfect mom, but I had married one as well.

To me the perfect mom is someone who is an encourager, a listener, your best friend as you go through life’s ups and downs, a confidant, your best advocate and fierce protector! She typically runs the household, handles the finances, not to mention all the less the glamorous jobs around the home.

She is the social director, your biggest cheerleader and oftentimes the team mom. She has a special way of making the home warm and inviting to family and friends, and no one knows how to make the holidays more special than a mom whose decorative touch and holiday dinners are what memories are made by.

She has that special ability to make you feel loved when you had to be corrected for those miscues, and has an uncanny insight knowing when you need that extra hug or encouraging note for no apparent reason.

Unlike most corporate executives who relish their title and are paid handsomely for their accomplishments, the perfect mom receives no monetary compensation, or title, and is on call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The only compensation they seek is the appreciation and love from their family.

How do I know all this? When my mom passed away I felt like I lost my best friend and to this day I still feel her loss. All the attributes I mentioned above described my mother. I consider myself very blessed that not only did I have a mother who was nurturing, but enabled me to soar to heights I never imagined. However, I consider myself very fortunate to be married to a woman who has embodied every quality I feel that makes the perfect mother, partner and friend,and I thank God every day for these two special women he has brought into my life.

I hope you will join me in thanking all those “Perfect Moms” for giving so much of themselves to make our lives and those of our children so very special

-Gary Cardillo

Easter…More than Just Finding Eggs

April 18, 2019 by Gary Cardillo

I remember as a young child growing up in New York the excitement we had getting up early to see what the Easter bunny left us. While we didn’t receive gifts like we did at Christmas, there was something very special seeing the big Easter baskets filled with chocolate bunnies, assorted jelly beans and those marshmallow “peeps.” We dyed our Easter eggs, usually winding up with as much dye on our fingers as we did on our eggs and who can forget the fun we had finding them on our Easter egg hunts in those hidden places in the yard our parents carefully hid them.

As I grew a little older, Easter took on a different meaning. Good Friday we took our Easter lilies, and hyacinth plants and visited the cemeteries of relatives who had passed and gave thanks for the sacrifices they made so we could enjoy the life we had. It was a special time of year as the fragrance of these flowers and the buds on the trees signaled spring was in the air, which to me represented the rebirth or awakening of a season I loved so much.

Today I look at Easter from a totally different perspective, but with the same gratitude I did in my younger years. I think of the significance of Easter and the impact and sacrifice Christ made for us all. However, it has also opened my eyes to the sacrifices some people make each day; foregoing the things we as a society consider success, in order to enrich the lives of others. One such person is Tom Parker, Area Director for Young Life.

*Tom Parker, Area Director of Young Life*

For those of you not familiar with Young Life, while it is described as a Christian based organization where staff and volunteers alike contribute their time to mentor and assist middle and high school students based on Christian values and principles, it is much more. Kids of all faiths, race and ethnic backgrounds are welcomed into an “authentic environment”where they can talk about the challenges they face in everyday life.

As for Tom, he was born and raised in Indiana and like most kids growing up loved sports and the friendships he made. Just out of college he felt a calling to get involved in “Youth for Christ,” which opened the door for the ministry he is serving today. After spending time mentoring kids in Indiana, opportunities in Texas and Alabama presented themselves where for a combined 10 years Tom served as a Youth Pastor on staff. It was at their church in Alabama Tom and his wife Anna felt most at home, however, after 6 years the work environment changed as did the dynamics of the church. A move to Fort Myers, Florida was thought to be their next opportunity but after a year Tom said it wasn’t the fit they thought it would be. He said, “My heart may have still been partially in Alabama, as I still had connections there I kept in touch with that were like family to us.”

It was during this time of transition and soul searching he met Bill Loy, the Young Life area director in Fort Myers. Bill shared with Tom an opportunity to work for Young Life and the impact he could have on high school kids. He thought it might be a good fit for Tom, since his heart was to be in a school setting mentoring kids . Taking a $20,000 per year cut in pay the rest is history as in the eight years Tom has been with Young Life he has watched this area grow and the lives that have been touched.

While Young Life is based on Christian principles, Tom said, “Today kids are looking for authentic relationships and will take criticism if they know the person sincerely cares.” He said as adults we strive for the “American Dream,” and all the trappings that go with it, but in the process many times the family unit is neglected. The children oftentimes don’t feel loved, wanted or cared for and they turn to social media which is a virtual reality world and often times almost used as a drug. When someone likes a status, a picture or just makes positive comment, clinically speaking it gives a sense of a high.Unfortunately, they base much of what they believe in from television and posts they read on social media.

Tom continued by saying, “Snap Chat and Twitter allows them to share “snippets” of their lives, but only parts of their lives. Their communications skills have suffered as a result.” He feels this generation has lost much of its communications skills by using texts, Instagram and tweets to communicate with each other. He said most times there is no depth to their communication as through these social media avenues they control how much of their lives they’ll let you see. They hide their vulnerabilities and feelings since they can’t be seen. Unlike previous generations, through television and video games they can recreate real life scenarios without the consequences. Unfortunately, we’re seeing the disconnect that results with many having difficulty in coping with real life situations associated with political discourse, school shootings and challenges they may be encountering at home.”When the trials get too tough, it is easier to walk away, and they do the same with relationships instead of facing them.” But Tom is quick to add, much of this behavior stems from watching the adults in their lives. When asked how they process school shootings, Tom said, “These are young adults whose brains are still developing, so while it is very difficult for adults to understand the thought behind these tragedies, it is even harder for kids to process and express their feelings of loss and hurt.”

When asked how kids are responding to the political environment we’re experiencing today, where people seem to be talking at each other and not to each other, Tom said aside from social media kids today are being influenced largely by the thoughts and viewpoints from their educators which seem to override those of their parents. He continued by saying, “We are raising a generation of good test takers, not always good thinkers or problem solvers. We seem to be giving more theories on abstract thinking.”

When it comes to church and religion, Tom explained, “Churches, sometimes are waiting for kids to come to them rather than meeting them where they are. Many kids consider themselves spiritual, seeking out something to believe in, but are looking for something authentic and oftentimes times they don’t see it in some churches.

Tom shared with me how not only are the kids feeling the benefit from the Young Life outreach, but parents have contacted him and shared their appreciation for the impact he is making on their children as well.

Through his ministry with Young Life weekly get-togethers in a home environment called “club” to summer trips to “camp,” where kids spend a week bonding in a camp like setting with a host of activities and opportunities to share life stories, new bonds are being forged authentically where they communicate and share

experiences on a personal level and not through social media. Currently, Tom is overseeing Young Life’s new location at the Port Charlotte Town Center Mall that will offer mentoring and tutoring opportunities for kids needing help with classwork, someone to talk to as they look for answers to challenges they are going through and a stage where they can act out skits they often share at club.

You may be asking yourself, why I’ve gone into such depth about the impact Tom and Young Life has made on these children and what it has to do with the Easter season.

Like Tom, I too have had a passion for kids and for the better part of the last 17 years I’ve been part of a design team that has planned out the Young Life annual banquet which is coming up again this year on April 15th. Having coached kids in a variety of sports and seeing the impact and life lessons learned many times on the ball field, I have sensed that same level of satisfaction as finding that special Easter egg and looking inside to find the hidden prize. I saw kids develop a confidence they never thought they had when they got their first hit, or madetheir first basket. I saw how just participating an hour or so in a game gave them something to look forward to as an escape from a difficult home life. I also saw how playing in a team sport formed deeper bonds and friendships than many were finding in their day to day encounters with others.

This is the environment Tom is helping to create in our area schools where kids from all walks of life can laugh and share life experiences in an authentic setting where they are accepted for who they are.

Success to Tom was not the financial benefit he could receive in a high paying job, it was touching the lives of kids who despite the knowledge they have in technology are looking for answers in how to cope with everyday life. As Tom says, “ the only way to find them is to be authentic, real and meet them where they are.”

If you would like to learn more about Tom and Young Life, or would like to support his efforts like many businesses and individuals have been doing, you can reach Tom at Tom@charlotteharbor.younglife.org or you can call him at 941-456-5433.

-Gary Cardillo

What I’m Reading:

March 29, 2019 by Gary Cardillo

In the New York Post, a segment stated how 41% of New Yorkers say they can no longer afford to live there. A single room apartment in the city is renting for $3,100 per month.

A Quinnipiac College survey found 61% of those interviewed said they could afford to live in New York, but 35% said they would be forced to move within the next 5 years.

Maria Bartiromo is a global markets editor at Fox Business News and hosts a variety of financial programs stated, “Money goes to where it is treated best.” This was in response to New York’s Governor Cuomo stating, “The state is facing a $2 billion dollar shortfall due to companies leaving the oppressive taxes in New York, and they are not the only major city facing this crises.” He goes on to say “Liberal policies are pushing companies out to states like Florida where there is no income tax.”

In addition to this article, and comments from the interview with Maria Bartiromo, it was recently reported New York is going to start invasive audits of high income people looking to establish their homestead out of state to recapture tax revenues leaving the state. States like New Jersey have already imposed an “exit tax,” which essentially is a tax you pay when you sell your home to leave the state. While it is essentially a prepayment of taxes on the capital gains, it is just another way states are making sure they can limit the loss of tax revenue leaving the state.

I think this bodes well for states like Florida that offer lower tax rates and a climate that fosters a better quality of life year round.

Source: Campanile, Carl and Max Jaeger “More than a third of New Yorkers say they can’t afford to live here.” New York Post, 22 March 2019. www.nypost.com

St. Patrick’s Day & Our Irish Roots

March 16, 2019 by Gary Cardillo

As you know, each month we like to highlight the accomplishments of someone who has given much of himself or herself for the betterment of their community. This month we would like to recognize Maewyn Succat. Who’s Maewyn Succat you ask? He isn’t anyone I heard of and most likely isn’t a name you’ve ever heard of either, yet somehow he has impacted our lives in ways you never thought possible.

According to The Old Farmer’s Almanac, Maewyn Succat was born in Britain and around age 16 (around 400 A.D.) he was kidnapped and taken to Ireland as a slave where he worked as a shepherd. After six years he escaped and returned home and received “a calling” to preach the gospel and spent the next 15 years in a monastery preparing himself for mission work. Once he became a priest his name was changed to Patricius and eventually to Patrick. St. Patrick, as he is known today, was considered a patron saint and national apostle of Ireland and is credited with bringing Christianity to Ireland. It is said he used the three leaf shamrock to explain the Holy Trinity, however, many years later the fourth leaf was added by the ancient Celts as a charm to ward off evil spirits. While the Almanac says there is no direct record St. Patrick actually used the shamrock as a “teaching tool,” in the early 1900’s O.H. Benson, who was an Iowa school superintendent, came up with the idea of using the shamrock as an “emblem for the newly founded agricultural club.” In 1911, the “four-leaf clover” was chosen as the emblem for this national club program, later known as 4-H.
Many centuries later, St. Patrick’s Day marks the day of his passing, but it is far from the somber religious holiday you would think. It is perhaps the only day of the year that regardless of one’s religious, political or ethnic background we all become Irish for a day. The saying that sums this up best for me is, “Irish today, Jewish tomorrow.” This is in reference to the year round Jewish deli staple of corned beef becoming part of the traditional St. Patrick’s Day dinner of corned beef and cabbage. And just like New Year’s, there is a camaraderie and revelry on this day second to none. Irish pubs around the world celebrate this day and none do it better than Punta Gorda’s Celtic Ray Public House.

Opened in 1997 by Proprietor Kevin Doyle, “The Celtic Ray,” as it is known by the locals, has continued to evolve and expand from being one of the only places around offering “the quality of imported beers and the atmosphere of a traditional Irish Pub,” to an eating and entertainment destination. As Kevin Doyle, “Publican” so aptly states on his website, “Bars are filled with lonely people. A pub is a very social scene. “You may come alone, but you won’t be for long,” and if you are around this St. Patrick’s Day, you’ll be in good company with hundreds of Irish men and women just like yourself!

Rich in tradition and personality, the bartenders and wait staff at the Celtic Ray take on Kevin’s engaging wit. In fact years ago there used to be a bartender by the name of “Tess.” Tess was a real spitfire. Rail thin, heavy smoker, raspy voice and known for razzing all those who stepped up to the bar. Years ago, a friend of mine decided to stop for beer. Tess greeted him in her usual manner and in her heavy Irish brogue asked, “What’a ya have luv?” My friend replied, “What kind of beers do you have Tess?,” to which she rattled off several imports. My friend said, “How about a Miller Lite,” to which Tess replied, “What di ya say? ya go on a get the hell outta here.” It was her reply that kept customers entertained and coming back for more. A couple of years ago I went there with our son and saw Kevin and asked if he still kept in touch with Tess, as I heard she returned to her home land. Kevin replied, “She went back to Scotland.” “Scotland?” I questioned, “How’s that working out.” Without missing a beat Kevin replied, “She’s a librarian, and this guy came in one day and asked for a book on suicide. She told him, “Go on and get the hell outta here, you’re not going to return it.” I asked Kevin if he was kidding and he said, “It sounded good didn’t it!” I don’t think you’ll confuse Kevin or his Celtic Ray with St. Patrick and his mission work, but somehow the atmosphere Kevin has created is a place where strangers come from all walks of life leave as friends.
If you are looking to make this St. Patrick’s Day one to remember, or just looking to getting in touch with your “Irish” heritage, even if it is for just a day, be sure you make a visit to the Celtic Ray as part of this special day. “You may come alone, but you won’t be for long.”

-Gary Cardillo

5 Current Tax Deductions When Selling a Home: Did You Take Them All?

March 1, 2019 by Gary Cardillo

But there’s also a new tax code—aka the Tax Cuts and Jobs Act—causing quite a bit of confusion this filing season. Rest assured that if you sold your home last year (or are planning to in the future), the tax deductions may amount to sizable savings when you file with the IRS.

You’ll want to know all the tax deductions (as well as tax exemptions or other write-offs) at your disposal. So here’s a rundown.

1. Selling costs

Good news! These deductions are still allowed under the new tax law as long as they are directly tied to the sale of the home and a married couple—or a single taxpayer—lived in the home for at least two out of the five years preceding the sale. Another caveat: The home must be a principal residence and not an investment property.

“You can deduct any costs associated with selling the home—including legal fees, escrow fees, advertising costs, and real estate agent commissions,” says Joshua Zimmelman, president of Westwood Tax and Consulting in Rockville Center, NY.

This could also include home staging fees, according to Thomas J. Williams, a tax accountant who operates Your Small Biz Accountant in Kissimmee, FL.

Just remember that you can’t deduct these costs in the same way as, say, mortgage interest. Instead, you subtract them from the sales price of your home, which in turn positively affects your capital gains tax.

2. Home improvements and repairs

Score again. The new tax law left this deduction as well. If you renovated a few rooms to make your home more marketable (and so you can fetch a higher sales price), now you can deduct those upgrade costs as well. This includes painting the house or repairing the roof or water heater.

But there’s a catch, and it all boils down to timing.

“If you needed to make home improvements in order to sell your home, you can deduct those expenses as selling costs as long as they were made within 90 days of the closing,” says Zimmelman.

3. Property taxes

This deduction is still allowed, but your total deductions are capped at $10,000, Zimmelman says.

If you were dutifully paying your property taxes up to the point when you sold your home, you can deduct the amount you paid in property taxes this year up to $10,000.

4. Mortgage interest

As with property taxes, you can deduct the interest on your mortgage for the portion of the year you owned your home. However, the rules have changed slightly from last year.

Just remember that under the new tax code, new homeowners (and home sellers) can deduct the interest on up to only $750,000 of mortgage debt, though homeowners who got their mortgage before Dec. 15, 2017, can continue deducting up to the original amount up to $1 million, according to Zimmelman.

Note that the mortgage interest and property taxes are itemized deductions. This means that for it to work in your favor, all of your itemized deductions need to be greater than the new standard deduction, which the Tax Cuts and Jobs Act nearly doubled to $12,200 for individuals, $18,350 for heads of household, and $24,400 for married couples filing jointly (for comparison, it used to be $12,700 for married couples filing jointly).

5. But what’s up with capital gains tax for sellers?

Lawmakers tried to change the capital gains rule, but it managed to survive—so it’s still one home sellers can use. It isn’t technically a deduction (it’s an exclusion), but you’re still going to like it.

As a reminder, capital gains are your profits from selling your home—whatever cash is left after paying off your expenses, plus any outstanding mortgage debt. And yes, these profits are taxed as income. But here’s the good news: You can exclude up to $250,000 of the capital gains from the sale if you’re single, and $500,000 if married. The only big catch is you must have lived in your home at least two of the past five years.

However, look for the rules of this exemption to possibly change in a future tax bill.

Ralph DiBugnara, president of Home Qualified and vice president at Residential Home Funding, says lawmakers might push to change this so that homeowners would have to live in the property for five of the past eight years, instead of two out of five.

By Margaret Heidenry | Feb 28, 2019