Almost two years ago, my wife signed us up as members of St. Andrew’s South Golf Club, as it occurred to her I was spending too much time sitting behind a computer or working late into the evening, and my only outlet was doing yard work. Somewhere along the way, I became my father! I wasn’t doing anything fun in my spare time. Try explaining that to someone who spends half their year bundled up during the winter months, and they’ll think you lost your mind when you live on the water and close to a host of golf courses. Sure, there are more challenging courses than St. Andrews; for years, when asked why I didn’t join, I would tease and tell them that due to the relatively flat terrain of the course, that’s where they used to host the areas Greyhound races. Now before you think, “This guy must be some golfer,” let me tell you this course has gotten the better of me in more ways than one. While St. Andrew’s South may not be hosting the U.S. Open anytime soon, this club is second to none in terms of the people we’ve met and the friends we’ve made.
Golfers have their unique brand of humor. They can hit a great shot and tell you it’s just another of the many great shots they routinely make. And no one is quicker to tease you about the shot you just hit into the water or lost in the trees than the guys in your foursome. This may sound cruel to some, but that makes the sport so much fun, and the guys I play with will never miss an opportunity to celebrate your crummy shot. While there is no shortage of sarcasm, they are equally supportive of the good ones too….or at least they feign they are!
Unfortunately, that fun time on the course ended in April. I was playing in a small tournament with this cast of characters when I tore my rotator cuff, and I haven’t been able to play golf since. For anyone who has had this injury and gone through surgery and physical therapy, I can tell you it isn’t something you would put on your bucket list. Perhaps the most frustrating part of the recovery process is the sleepless nights, but there is always a silver lining with every challenge.
While the rest of the neighborhood was sound asleep, I was entertained by some shows and comedians we grew up watching. Between all the documentaries and infomercials, it was as if they were all waiting for me. There was Groucho Marx, All in the Family’s Archie Bunker, Sanford and Son’s Redd Foxx, Don Rickles, Robin Williams, Eddie Murphy, Richard Pryor, Rodney Daingerfield, and George Carlin, to name a few. Shows and comedians I hadn’t seen in what seemed like decades not only took my mind off the discomfort I was experiencing but somehow made me realize the stark difference in the things that entertained us back then and how many of those things couldn’t be said today. How did we become so thinned-skinned that we couldn’t laugh at ourselves or gain a better understanding of life’s injustices without going into the frenzy we see today? Can we blame it all on the media?
If you have ever played a sport, you know what teasing happens between your teammates and in the locker room. The nationally-ranked high school soccer team I played on was comprised of virtually every nationality you could imagine. I was one of the few American-born kids on the team, and don’t think we didn’t make fun of each other when we could barely understand what our teammate was saying. We laughed at our differences and celebrated the things we shared in common.
We had friends who were politicians and others whose political opinions differed from ours. Maybe it was a time when we didn’t feel like doomsday was right around the corner and the president our friend supported was in the process of driving the train over a cliff. To this day, we still can discuss our differing viewpoints without the thought of a friendship being compromised. I always felt it was better to listen and learn from other people’s experiences, which made the shows I mentioned earlier so special. While most watched them for entertainment or just a laugh at the end of a long work day, I developed an even deeper appreciation of them during these overnight hours.
As diverse as these shows and comedians were, their performances were all based on some form of social commentary. While we laughed at Archie Bunker referring to his son-in-law Michael as the “Meat Head,” most would agree it was Archie with his narrow-minded personal and political views. Richard Pryor and Redd Fox had us laughing till our sides hurt, but no one painted a better picture of the injustices so many people of color endured regarding their interactions with the police. Eddie Murphy’s SNL skit Mr. Robinson’s Neighborhood, where he describes gentrification as “A magic trick where the white people pay money, and the black people disappear,” could never be shown on television today.
Don Rickles was an equal opportunity insulter. He made fun of every nationality and race you could imagine. If the celebrity guest or audience member wasn’t quick enough to catch on to his insult, he called them a “moron.” He always followed up with, “You know I’m kidding,” and then would roll his eyes to confirm that person was a moron. Try saying that to someone you don’t know today and see the response you get.
This leaves me with the last three, Robin Williams, George Carlin, and Rodney Daingerfield. No one was more quick-witted than Robin Williams. While we remember him for his rapid-fire one-liners, the diversity of his movies, such as The Dead Poets Society, Good Morning Vietnam, and The Birdcage, often shed more light on many of the social issues we faced then. In contrast, we remember Rodney Daingerfield not only for his iconic role in Caddy Shack but as the one comedian who always made fun of his deficiencies and bad luck. His “self-deprecating” sense of humor that always ended, “I get no respect,” was refreshing in many ways and made us take ourselves a bit less seriously. Unfortunately, like Robin Williams, Daingerfield fought depression most of his life, which was another life lesson so many quietly suffer from today.
I saved George Carlin for last, as he was perhaps the best regarding social commentaries. In an article written by Helbert Enrique Asprilla, entitled “Why George Carlin Is My Dead Mentor,” he reflects on the life of the late George Carlin, who was known for his “thought-provoking, stand-up comedy, tackling topics such as politics, languages, and the human condition.” Asprilla continues by saying, “Carlin offers a wealth of knowledge and insight, challenging social norms and encouraging us to think critically about the world around us. Whether through his commentary on politics and government, his observations on the human experience, or his critiques on authority and institutions, Carlin’s comedy has much to teach us about the absurdity of the world and the importance of questioning the status quo.” In one of his routines, “Life is Worth Losing,” Carlin relates, “We’re all just temporary custodians of our bodies…we’re just passing through, and this is just a stop along the way.” Asprilla concluded, “Carlin’s perspective on the fleeting nature of life can help us appreciate and make the most of the time we have, rather than getting caught up on the trivialities and materialism of the world today.”
While many of these comedic icons have passed, the life lessons through their work live on to this day. I’m convinced comedy is not just a respite from the everyday challenges life throws at us but is the antidote we need to put life into a bit more perspective and take ourselves a bit less seriously.
-Gary Cardillo
I consider myself very fortunate to have met so many wonderful people during my life that I’m blessed to call “friends.” Their backgrounds are as diverse as the world in which we live. Some have been politicians, others doctors, lawyers, law enforcement, and even those with rags-to-riches stories. While I love to celebrate their histories of accomplishment, the ones whose lives touch me most are those who passionately serve others, whether through personal sacrifice or by giving generously of their gifts and talents. Their backgrounds may differ vastly, but they desire to serve with little attention drawn to themselves. One such person is long-time friend Kim Amontree, whose contributions to our community read like a “Who’s Who.” Kim has served on the local school board as Vice Chair and as an integral member of a variety of boards and committees that include the “Punta Gorda Diversity Task Force,” “Charlotte County Chamber Government Affairs,” and “Charlotte County Reads” in addition to her various roles with the Florida School Boards Association. This association aims to increase student achievement by developing effective school board leadership and advocacy for public education.
Simply put, the FSBA is the “voice of education in Florida,” which Kim has served on multiple committees and continues today as co-Chair of the Legislative sub-Committee. Kim’s involvement with the community is just as comprehensive as she serves on the Board of Directors for the YMCA of Southwest Florida and is “Chair of the Punta Gorda YMCA Community Board.” Her passion for children does not end there as she is a “Coalition Member of Drug-Free Punta Gorda,” a “Volunteer Reading Buddy.” She has also served as a mentor for Take Stock in Children and a coach for Girls on the Run. I’ve often felt Kim was the person I would call if my house were on fire as she’d be the first one on the scene and have it under control before the fire trucks arrived. She’s not one to sit back and hope for change; she’s a team player who will invoke the change.
I often ask those looking to move to our area what brought them here. For Kim, it was an opportunity for her husband Jim, a highly respected Gastroenterologist, to join the Intermedic practice years ago. Kim recalled how they met through a group of friends while both were living in Albuquerque, New Mexico. They weren’t dating for long when Kim had an opportunity to move to New Orleans, working with NCR, a world-leading enterprise technology provider of software, hardware, and services for large banks and other entities. Jim was an Assistant Professor at the University of New Mexico when a close physician friend notified him of the Intermedic opportunity. Kim jokingly said, “I told Jim I wasn’t moving just for love. It would be for a ring, a house, and a dog.” So in 1991, they made the move and never looked back. Despite being on a fast track herself, Kim put her career on hold to help Jim open his practice which came to fruition in 1999. Years later, having helped create a thriving medical practice and raising three gifted children, Kim said, “Life is short, and I wanted to spend time doing things that matter.” Those who know Kim know of her passion for community and children specifically. Having been a Realtor myself for 20 years, the questions from those looking to move to our area center around medical services and education, the question most dear to Kim’s heart.
Few of us would disagree that we live in a world fraught with many issues, from health and finance to the environment. Kim reflected, “Unfortunately, the problems in society we face today the next generation is going to have to solve, and that comes through education.” Equally challenging is the environment our educators face today. Aside from the lack of decorum exhibited in debates of opposing thoughts and philosophies, you hear in classrooms and on college campuses throughout the country, not to mention security challenges, Kim said, “There is a direct tie to the impact on educational performance that stems from socio-economic conditions. Approximately 60% of the children are “direct certified” (receiving some form of government assistance). Over 90% are considered “economically needy.” While the pandemic had devastating effects on the 2020-2021 school year, where 30% of the children missed more than ten days of school, a dramatic increase from the 12% norm, Kim said, “The Charlotte County school system wasn’t going to take the foot off the gas; the students were expected to learn the curriculum.” In 2021, the Charlotte County School System had its highest graduation rate of 91%. Not only did more children graduate, but they scored in the top tier of Florida’s Advance Placement Standardized Test.
Kim’s decision to join an organization or board comes down to one significant fact, “Does it benefit the children of the community?” I’ve always felt we educate our children to benefit other cities and towns across the country since, historically, there have been limited employment opportunities locally. Kim said they could benefit from higher-paying jobs by providing workforce opportunities to serve the community’s growth, such as aviation, where students can graduate with FAA certifications. Kim continued by saying that with the cost of education reaching all-time highs, providing white-collar opportunities without going through a four-year college program would reduce student loan debt and enable these students to earn a good living in less time. She added, “If you want better medicine and services, you must support and have confidence in the school system.” By passing the “Yes For Success” referendum, teachers’ salaries increased from $38,000 to $54,000, which is one of the highest in the state. The referendum enabled the school system to address the psychological impact many children face today. Succinctly stated, “Schools are the front line of mental health issues.” As a result of the passage of the referendum, they were able to triple the number of social workers and double the number of psychologists.
Kim continued, “Discipline is one of the biggest barriers to educational success. It only takes a two percent discipline problem in a class to impact the other ninety-eight percent.” When you factor in some families’ socio-economic challenges, taking 20 minutes a day to read with a child is often compromised. Kim added, “Some parents don’t know what they don’t know.” Reading with your child stimulates from a knowledge base perspective and builds a stronger parental bond.” I have often thought with the absence of this bond; one can only assume there is a correlation as to why we see so many issues manifesting in today’s generations.
Through these friendships, we’ve been all over the world from Singapore and Vietnam to Europe and South America. We traveled through the back roads of our great country and journeyed the Intracoastal from Florida to New England. We’ve met politicians and have been to some of the most dangerous locations in the middle-east. “How did you get to do all of this in such a short life span you may ask?” While I’ve experienced some very special places when traveling through our country, unfortunately the closest I’ve gotten to Europe was a road trip to Massachusetts. Sarah Palin may have claimed to see Russia from her home in Alaska, but through the intimate stories told by clients who became close friends we feel as if we experienced these real-life stories and adventures, many of which we hope to take ourselves someday.
Everyone has a story or knows of someone who has a storied background, but when you have the opportunity to spend as much time with clients as we do, their histories come to life in a way that makes you feel as if you went through a time with them. I remember one client who had been in the largest naval battle to this day. He was on a 500 ft. aircraft carrier in the Philippines and to listen to his story of the incoming fire they took, you couldn’t help but feel you were right alongside him. Other clients spoke of Communist regimes they escaped and how their families lost everything they had to come to our country. Others have been in the entertainment industry, some have been writers and still, others have created products that are widely used today. There have been CEOs and those that rose from poverty to creating highly successful businesses, going on to mentor others so they could have an opportunity to better themselves. We’ve also heard countless stories from physicians, who without fanfare traveled abroad to many third world countries administering to those in need, and did I mention a Grammy award-winning Pastor whose lives he continues to touch each day? For those of you whose stories have appeared in our newsletters you know who you are, and how your stories have had such an impact on my life, as have so many others.
We live in a time where the media is focused more than ever on negative news and the things that divide us, not the common ground that can bring us together. When I see thousands of people turn out in mass to simply watch the lighting of a Christmas Tree or eight Clydesdale horses pulling a wagon through the streets of our downtown with two men and a Dalmatian sitting alongside them, I think to myself, “aren’t these the timeless pleasures we seem to embrace, and innately desire to enjoy?”
While most people would like to talk about themselves, Gary and Gail have always put their clients first, and their diverse backgrounds have provided their clients an unparalleled level of service and knowledge throughout the past years.