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You are here: Home / The Gary Cardillo Group’s Blog

A Life Well Lived

August 29, 2024 by Gary Cardillo

We often measure one’s success in life by the wealth they’ve accumulated or the position they held on the corporate ladder. We’ve come to idolize sports and entertainment figures, or those we feel can benefit us as we try to attain success. But is that really the meaning of a “life well lived?” To some, it may be.

Maybe it was during the sweet innocence of my childhood when we were aware of some of the positions or wealth those around us had, but for some reason, we saw them as peers or equals. We didn’t judge them on their financial statements; we just knew them as friends.

Summers were always the time of year I looked most forward to. We water-skied, swam, went to the beach, played golf, camped out, played hours of flashlight tag, and even snuck out at night just to talk about our day even more. As I’ve grown older, I think of those fond memories, but I realize even more that it was the close friends I had who made those moments in time so special.

Moving to Florida has been a continuation of those special friendships and moments similar to the enjoyment of those early childhood years. While some activities have changed, the spirited banter has remained the same. One couple who have become our close friends are Greg and Toni White. Both had very successful corporate positions, but like those I grew up with, they were more interested in celebrating their friendships than talking about their accomplishments. While very talented, the contagiousness of their personalities appeals to so many, but it doesn’t end there.

Several years ago, Toni approached me to help her find a home for her mother, Lin, a widow living in California. While she loved her life in California, Toni felt that her mom was getting older, and it made more sense to have her move closer to her. She quickly became part of a group of friends we met at St. Andrew’s South Golf Club, a course in the heart of the waterfront community of Punta Gorda Isles. Unlike most women her age, Lin, or as many of her close friends who affectionately called her “Mumsie,” became part of the gang and attended most of the club’s social events.

Linda Warwick was born in 1934 and grew up in the east end of London, living with her grandparents, parents, and three uncles in a small home. The east end of London was where the docks were located, and the River Thames ran behind their house. As a young child, factories were turning into munitions plants before her eyes, and a few short years later, the U.K. entered the war. It would be hard for anyone at five or six years of age living in the United States to appreciate the ravages of war. Still, with London being one of the largest cities in the world at that time and home to the British Empire, it became a vital target of the German Wehrmact, (armed forces). On September 7, 1940, later known as “Black Sunday,” the Germans unleashed their fury in a blitzkrieg (lightning war) with 300 bombers targeting London in the first of 57 consecutive nights that continued for the next eight months. Forced to find shelter any way they could, homes in their community were being destroyed, and with the continuous sound of gunfire and sirens echoing in their ears, it was a sobering reminder that their home could be next. Like so many others, they became “evacuees” and retreated to the safety of the countryside, having to, at times, share a home with other displaced families. While it appeared to offer a safer environment, they could see the glowing fires from the bombing raids in the various towns and cities from afar.

As a young child, she experienced the worst and best life had to offer. Despite the war’s displacement and hardship on her family, Linda recalled those beautiful memories of taking walks in the countryside. She will never forget the day the King and Queen of England came to the area they were living in to show empathy as Buckingham Palace had also been bombed.

Throughout this time, Linda’s father worked as a fireman in London and occasionally would get leave to visit his family. She said he worked long hours in the east end of London, called “Mile End.” Eventually, he was offered a dilapidated house next to a factory, and while there were only three remaining homes on the street, the rest being destroyed from the continual bombing, they were thrilled to be back together under one roof. With the bombing subsiding as the focal point of the war moved away from the city, Linda and her new friends returned to school and recalled the kindness of the teachers who would give up their free time to take the children on hikes or create some diversion to take their minds off the war, which was never far away and often sent them to air raid shelters. Teachers were called into service, and Linda recalled that 25 children from her school were killed during that time.

With the German front moving to the desert and Russia, curfews were being lifted, and the children were allowed to stay out and play for extended periods of time. A community pool was reopened, and Linda’s school was due to go the following day when the wailing sounds of an air raid siren sent Linda and her family scrambling through the adjoining factory for safety as the sound of bombs could be heard all around. Once the attack subsided, her dad went out to check the destruction only to come back a short while later saying their family home had been destroyed; in fact, most of the remaining homes in the community lay in ruins.

Despite the heartache of war, Linda recalls those special moments during the war when friends, relatives, and teachers would give of themselves to make sure the children were spared as much of the horrors of the war as possible. Later on in life, Linda would reflect on how resilient, tenacious, and determined they were not only to survive but to restore their country to its glory once again.

After graduating high school, Linda became a library assistant at the University of London. She then eventually moved to Canada, where she and her husband were married in Toronto in 1954. They moved to the United States in 1963, where Linda worked as a secretary, and Ron accepted a job as a sound engineer, which he enjoyed for almost 30 years. After Ron’s passing, Linda’s daughter Toni suggested Linda move closer to where she lived, as her brother was also living in Florida.

It’s hard to imagine the scars of war, but like service members who have fought together or those who have come from the oppression of their homelands, they have a greater appreciation for the simple things we take for granted. Linda was one of those people, and her biggest fear, she shared with her daughter, was not the move but whether she was going to be able to make new friends.

Years ago, I had a middle school teacher tell our class how fortunate we would be if we could count on one hand the number of close friends we had. As Lin was approaching her 90th birthday on July 25th, Toni and her husband Greg were planning a surprise birthday party for her at a local restaurant, to which almost 100 of her closest friends were invited. Unfortunately, five days prior to her celebrated day, she passed away.

To some, this would be a sad way to end such a story, but like many things in life, lessons are learned from our most difficult experiences. Lin’s story doesn’t end with her passing, but the 90th birthday surprise that became her Celebration of Life, where stories were shared by so many whose lives were impacted by her. The story best told was by her daughter Toni, who recalled having past boyfriends show up unannounced at their home when she was getting ready to go out on a date. When asked what they were doing there, they would reply, “We didn’t come to see you; we came to see your mother!”

Like so many others, we will miss her contagious smile, the kind words she had for others, and seeing her at many social events at the club. She made the most of her friendships and earned the love of many. Lin is a reminder of what is essential in life and what a “life well lived” really means. It’s not about who has the most toys that wins; it is the impact one’s life has on others. In this challenging world in which we live today, Lin was the sugar that made each day a bit sweeter.

 

-Gary Cardillo

Filed Under: Community Information Tagged With: 89 years, charlotte county, florida, gary cardillo, impactful women, linda warwick, living, mumsie warwick, real estate, waterfront

Embracing Father’s Day

June 16, 2024 by Gary Cardillo

What first thought comes to mind when you think of Mother’s Day or Father’s Day? Is it a special day when we take time to celebrate ourselves as parents to our children, or is it something much more? It wasn’t until a recent comment our son, Tyler, made to me the other day about his desire to help coach kids in his spare time that I realized these special days aren’t meant to recognize us as parents to our children.

Tyler’s words resonated with me as I looked back at all the teams I coached and my interaction with his teammates. Many of his teams in those early years were young boys first getting acquainted with a sport; others had rosters consisting of both boys and girls. I shared with them my feelings that playing a sport was more than a game and that it provided so many lessons that would benefit them throughout life. They would learn how to compete individually and as a team member and how those lessons learned could transfer to their academic and career goals of accomplishment. It was also a life lesson for me, as some of the children I coached didn’t come from the stable family environment in which I grew up. For some, this was their only outlet of enjoyment away from the trials of home. Others were only playing to please a parent who wanted to relive their playing days where their memories of their athletic prowess may have convinced them they were much more talented than they were. I vividly recall one young boy who couldn’t make any baseball practices because he came from a single-parent home, and his mother had to work two jobs to make ends meet. On the day of our baseball game, I had him in the lineup, and his teammates couldn’t understand why I would allow him to play at a critical point when he didn’t come to practice. I shared with them that not everyone was as fortunate as them, and there may be a time in their lives when they, too, may not be qualified to make the team or get the job they wanted, but they did because someone was willing to give them a chance.

One experience I still hold dear to this day was of a young elementary school boy who had a daily history of getting into schoolyard fights and disrupting his classmates. My major was Psychology, and one of my Behavioral Psychology course requirements was to mentor a child outside of our college campus setting. Visiting my old elementary school, the principal told me they had a child who was not responding to his teachers and was rebellious at home. My first meeting with “Bobby” was as advertised as he proudly talked about his fights on the school grounds and showed little interest in anything else. Through our interactions, I found that Bobby couldn’t read, at least not very well, and it wasn’t until I taught him how to read that I realized that his aggression was compensated for his academic lack of confidence. Soon, he brought me books he was reading and would proudly tell me he was no longer fighting. He even broke up a couple of fights. I couldn’t have been more proud of him.

Some measure success in the goals they achieve for themselves or the financial status they have gained, but as I’ve grown older, the most significant rewards are not the things we necessarily do for ourselves but what we do that inspires others. To me, Mother’s Day or Father’s Day is as much for foster parents as it is for those willing to unselfishly give of themselves to mentor others, making them every bit fitting to be considered surrogate “Mothers” or “Fathers.”

The magical memories I had in coaching our son and his teammates will last me a lifetime, but it wasn’t until Tyler expressed his desire to help others through coaching and mentoring that I felt I succeeded as a dad.

-Gary Cardillo

Filed Under: Community Information

The Gift

December 21, 2023 by Gary Cardillo

For years, I’ve interviewed a diverse spectrum of people who have tirelessly given of themselves to the betterment of their community, made sacrifices on our behalf while serving our country, or inspired us through the talents they’ve shared. They are the inspiring, the brave, the risk-takers, and the encouragers. They seek no recognition for their contributions and prefer the spotlight shine on those they serve rather than their contributions.

While it has been easy for me to celebrate their accomplishments through our newsletters, this time, I’m going out on a limb as, for the first time, I’m writing about someone whose literary talent as a writer, journalist, and author is somewhat intimidating. Those who read our newsletters have been complimentary of my writing style; however, this time, I feel like the kid who plays baseball in a schoolyard and is now stepping into the big leagues and asking to play with the New York Yankees.

I’ve gone through many drafts for this month’s interview and have been unsettled in my attempts to capture the essence of this talented lady and the multitude of life lessons that can be garnered from her books until now. Initially, I intended to write about my high school classmate’s success in becoming a highly acclaimed author. I had heard about her books for some time, but it wasn’t until recently when I set aside some time to read her book “No Past Tense,” that I knew there was much more I needed to share.

D.Z. Stone, known as “Donna” to her classmates and close friends, grew up surrounded by her father’s “Polish Catholic” family, in a primarily Polish and Portuguese immigrant section of Mineola, Long Island, New York. Her early life is as interesting as the twists and turns in her novels. Growing up above her father’s bar, she met all kinds of people, from World War II veterans to the Polish and Portuguese people of the neighborhood; experiencing their cultural differences. Being of part-Jewish descent, Donna was more attuned to the inherent cultural bigotries than most of us kids during that time. As a teenager, Donna recalled how she first became aware of anti-Semitism when it was discovered that a Latvian war criminal by the name of Boleslavs Maikovskis had been living only blocks away from her family and whose home she passed on her way to church, the same church he attended every day. Donna said she knew his wife, a “regular” at her Grandmother’s weekly ladies’ Pokeno game. When it came out, he was a senior police officer in Latvia who ordered the mass execution of Jews, some of his neighbors felt the war was long over and were willing to move on and “let the old man alone.” Donna was shocked that people were willing to give him a “pass” even before they knew the details of the charges against him.

When I asked Donna what sparked her interest in writing, she said she was somewhat encouraged when she would get papers back from her professors in college, and they would write across the top of the page, “Well Written!” Until then, she thought everyone could write and didn’t look at it from the perspective that perhaps she did have a writing talent. It wasn’t until her senior year at the College of William and Mary that Donna’s advisor heard she could write and suggested she take a writing course as an elective. Following her advisor’s advice, she took “playwriting,” to her surprise; Donna did well enough to feel she had finally found what she was meant to do: be a playwright! Unfortunately, after graduation, her career as a writer was put on hold as a fire destroyed her father’s bar and the family apartment upstairs, and she devoted her time to helping her family get back in business. Now up and running again, Donna packed her car with her Cocker Spaniel and drove to Ithaca, NY, where her boyfriend was in graduate school. Once there, she answered an ad for the “traffic manager” position at a local radio station. Having no idea what a traffic manager did, Donna humorously added, “It sounded better than making bagels and pumping gas.” She recalls going into WVBR-FM, a student-run commercial radio station independent from Cornell University, where she met with the station’s Personnel Director (Keith Olbermann) and General Manager (David Goldsmith), who convinced her if she took the position, she could enter the station’s training program that could potentially give her air clearance to go on the radio. With an opportunity such as this, Donna not only succeeded as a full-time traffic manager but also did the evening and weekend news and, for a time, hosted a Sunday talk show. In addition to all these hats she was now wearing, Donna wrote a daily feature called “90 Seconds”, which were short essays on any topic she wanted to write about that could be humorous, serious, or both. Soon, various board members of the radio station who heard Donna’s “90 Seconds” short essays approached her with other opportunities that included interviewing rock stars who came to Cornell and Ithaca and making radio documentaries for Cornell Media Services. Donna’s career as a journalist was born.

Eventually, Donna moved from Ithaca closer to New York City, where her writing career would take another turn to financial and corporate writing that would include a variety of formats such as articles, interactive text for computer speeches, scripts for commercials, annual reports, broker and investor brochures as well as talking points for media interviews. While this seems to be the furthest genre from her “90 Seconds” short essays, Donna said it was the collective variety of these writing formats she would use to create a “new narrative” structure in telling Salcer’s story in No Past Tense.

No Past Tense: Love and Survival in the Shadow of the Holocaust is the intriguing story of the lives of William and Katarina Salcer, or as the reader will come to know them, Willi and Kati. Never intended to be a published biography, it was at their son Ron’s request to know the entire story of their lives, which had been too painful for them to share. Now, in the twilight years of their lives, Willi and Kati agreed to share their entire story; otherwise, as Kati said, “What’s the point?”

With her vast experience as a writer who also holds a master’s degree in Cultural Anthropology from Columbia University, Donna masterfully takes you on the historical journey of Katarina Kellner (Kati) and William Salcer (Willi), two teenage Czech Jews from prominent families, who are unwittingly swept up by the Holocaust in Hungary and forced to survive in the notorious concentration camps of Auschwitz and Mauthausen. Through the intimacy of her year-long in-person interviews with Willi and Kati, their story took on a life of its own; as you are no longer reading history, you are living it.

It is not just a story of surviving the concentration camps but also a life lesson in overcoming the disappointments life throws you. Beginning with their harrowing escape to start a new beginning in Israel, Willi then used his engineering background to help fortify military tanks, develop a V belt product that reduced maintenance costs for the government, and served in the Israeli military, only to feel his country turned on him when they were fiscally short on money and audited his business at great expense to him; just some of the many disappointments they had to overcome.

Moving to America, New York in particular, Willi, a self-described “guy with a funny Czech accent” had difficulty finding a job. To support his family and with a keen eye to opportunity, the former factory owner and head of Israel’s Manufacturers Association, took a mid-level job with a button and bead maker. Willi would share his vision with his employers on how to grow their business while creating the machinery to increase productivity, only to be let go, told they were looking towards retirement. To get a better return, Willi went for a higher-risk investment, resulting in his losing his life savings and finding himself penniless and jobless in America.

With the enduring support of his loving wife, Willi finally goes on to create a business that becomes a huge success. While their story has a gratifying ending , Donna has masterfully taken the reader from two teenagers who have overcome significant obstacles to attain success to a teaching moment in survival, perseverance, and entrepreneurship while capturing the essence of true love.

What started as a son’s sole desire to learn of the historic journey his parents endured has evolved into an acclaimed biography in 673 universities and public libraries, Ivy League colleges, large state schools, and military academies. It is included in Catholic colleges as well as Jewish theological seminaries. Perhaps most impressive, No Past Tense resides in the Holocaust Museum in Washington D.C. and is permanently housed at the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum’s Shapell Center. It continues to get rave reviews, as Donna recently received a “thank you” from a Nobel Prize Winner for No Past Tense.

D.Z. Stone and No Past Tense were recently featured in an LA Times article on the Salcers’ son Ron by the sportswriter Helene Elliot. Entitled “The most meaningful deal he ever negotiated. Hockey agent turned his parents’ experiences into a book, possibly movie too.” The article also features Dr. Holli Levitsky who teaches “No Past Tense” at Loyola Marymount University. Levitsky calls the book timeless on many levels, including learning about anti-Semitism, which can help students process and better understand current world events.

Many of us can credit much of our success to those who inspired and encouraged us. For Donna, she is eternally grateful to our late former classmate and class President, George Gales, for convincing her that if possible she should go away to college and see more of the world, and that it was okay to let people know she was smart. He added, “Just don’t be a jerk about it.”

Some consider gifts the presents they receive, especially at this time of year. For me, it is making new friends, reconnecting with friends from years ago, and celebrating their accomplishments. Donna is that gift. She is much more than a classmate from Mineola High School in the 70s who has attained much-deserved success. As we reconnected, I found Donna is as she writes. She’s humble, compassionate, and relatable while celebrating the lives of others. More importantly, Donna is leaving a legacy where future generations can benefit from the life lessons that grace each page of her books. It’s a gift I hope to leave and one that isn’t just for the holiday season.

For those who have a love of history, make sure to read her other books, “A Fairy Tale Unmasked” and “Spies” which is featured in a collection of America’s most talented storytellers entitled “Coolest American Stories 2022.”

To all our friends both old and new, we hope this holiday season brings you much peace and joy and the New Year is full of good health, happiness and memories to be made.

-Gary Cardillo

Filed Under: Community Information Tagged With: dz stone, florida, gary cardillo, holocaust, love, no past tense, survival, the gift, waterfront living

Laughter-Good for the Soul

November 22, 2023 by Gary Cardillo

Turkey recipes written by Children

• My recipe for cooking a turkey is salt it and put it in the stove for 10 minutes. It might have a baby turkey inside. — Johnny, first grade, Western Wayne

• First you get a turkey from the store, then you put it in the stove. After you cook it you put sauce on it. When you put sauce on it you have to let it cool down. Then you are ready to eat it. I am thankful for our turkey, our family, and the whole world. I love Thanksgiving. — Kinze VanMeter, second grade, Hagerstown

• First, put your turkey in the oven. When your turkey is cooked, put your turkey on a plate and put some apples, pears and other fruits around it. Next, stuff your turkey with a filling you like, such as chocolate. — Greta Royer, second grade, homeschool

• My recipe for cooking a turkey is… 1. Put some sugar in a bowl. 2. Put some salt. 3. Put some dough in it and start squashing it up. 4. Put it in the oven for 20 minutes. 5. Cut it and let it cool down. Then… IT IS TIME TO EAT!!!! — Ben, second grade , Western Wayne

What are some things kids are thankful for?

• I am thankful for the USA, family, friends, shelter, school, animals, teachers, drinks, food, God, Jesus, heaven, cards, worlds, Thanksgiving, paper, mom, dad, clothes, shoes, smiling, Presidents, computers, showers, spelling, glue sticks, crayons, books, bun things, hearts, bodies, pictures, balls, teeth, money, headbands and our city. — Jozelynne McFall, second grade, Westview

• I am thankful for a lot of things. Family, friends, food. But one of the things I am most thankful for, is music. The music that saves lives. The kind of music that expresses yourself. I am thankful for the melodies, and the harmonies. I’m thankful for the sound. I am thankful for music. Whether it be rock, hip hop, rap, country… I am happy it is a part of my life. For it is what saved me. Thank you, music. — Faith Maiden, sixth grade, Lincoln Middle School

• I love my family. I bet you love your family too. I love my brother, do you? I love to learn stuff from adults well sometimes. I am thankful for God because he saved us from the Devil. — Tyler Jones, second grade, Westview

 

Source: Pal-Item

Filed Under: Community Information

Thanksgiving Reflections: Embracing Gratitude and Cherished Moments

November 22, 2023 by Gary Cardillo

As we gather around the table this Thanksgiving, my heart swells with gratitude for each precious soul sharing this moment with me. In a world filled with uncertainty and rapid change, the simple act of coming together to celebrate gratitude takes on profound significance.

In the midst of life’s hustle, it’s easy to overlook the beauty of thanksgiving—the genuine appreciation for the people and moments that make our lives extraordinary. This year, let’s pause to rediscover that essence, to rekindle the warmth of memories that still flicker in our hearts.Thanksgiving isn’t merely a date on the calendar; it’s a sanctuary for the soul, a haven where we retreat to acknowledge the tapestry of love and connection that weaves through the fabric of our lives. It’s a time to embrace the nostalgia of laughter echoing in the walls, the aroma of cherished recipes filling the air, and the joy that radiates from the bonds we share.

In a world that often feels divided, Thanksgiving calls us back to the sacred space of appreciation. Let’s express gratitude not just for the abundance on our tables but for the richness found in the embrace of loved ones, the shared glances that speak volumes, and the unspoken understanding that binds us together.

As we carve into the turkey and savor each bite of tradition, let’s also carve a space in our hearts to cherish the simple yet profound moments that define our lives. In a world that sometimes seems to spin too fast, Thanksgiving beckons us to slow down, to savor the flavors of gratitude and bask in the warmth of togetherness.

May this Thanksgiving be a gentle reminder that amidst the chaos, the core of our humanity lies in the connections we forge and the love we share. Here’s to the timeless moments that linger in our memories, to the bonds that withstand the test of time, and to the appreciation that transforms ordinary days into extraordinary celebrations.

Wishing you and your families aThanksgiving filled with the warmth of love, the joy of shared moments, and the beauty of genuine gratitude.

Filed Under: Community Information

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