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Easter, Where Hope Springs Eternal

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If I had to summarize my outlook on life, I would have to say Alexander Pope’s “An Essay On Man” depicted it best when he wrote, “Hope springs eternal in the human breast.” Various interpretations characterize his words: “People will always be optimistic and think something better is coming.” That certainly describes me!

I’ve often thought, “Is it the child in me who wants to see life through rose-colored glasses, or is it my desire to see the best in people and what life offers?” I sense I’m not the only one as I find many who I meet are on the same path as me, looking for those little nuggets along our life’s journey that bring us joy. When you think about it, every month of the year has that little “treat” we refer to as a holiday we celebrate with great anticipation. However, when you look into the history of many of these holidays, their origins are vastly different than how we celebrate them today. We have molded them into a day that makes us feel good and gives us that renewed “optimism.” Think about it. January starts our new year, a clean slate, if you will. Some people look at it as a start of a better year than the previous one. New resolutions are made, and who cares if they are broken a few weeks later, we feel like we got a fresh start. February brings us Valentine’s Day, and who would think we somehow could turn a day honoring 2 Christian martyrs into a romantic day for lovers. March amazes me as St. Patrick would never have deemed people from all walks of life and races would claim their Irish heritage and celebrate it until all hours of the night. Somewhere along the way, the fact that it was to celebrate the arrival of Christianity into Ireland got lost between the corned beef, Irish soda bread, and another round of beer. May brings us spring flowers, Cinco de Mayo, and a day to honor our Mothers. While I understood the significance of Mother’s Day and spring flowers, can someone explain how a kid from New York interprets a day when Mexico celebrates its victory over the French Empire in The Battle of Puebla, known as Cinco de Mayo,” as one he should commemerate as well? June was one of my favorite months as it was not only the month of my birthday but Father’s Day and the start of another great summer. Soon to follow was the 4th of July, and all we could think of were those great summertime barbeques and firework displays and not so much as those who gave of themselves fighting for our independence. While August didn’t have any particular holiday we looked forward to, it was the last month of a summer that was in full swing. Then came Labor Day, and once again, we somehow interpreted this day that originated as an observance of the labor unions contributions to the U.S. economy, as almost a weekend of rest and one final celebration before heading back to the drudgery of another school year. If you were like me, I bet you couldn’t wait for Halloween to arrive, and whoever would have thought we could have turned a day of observance for the deceased, martyrs, and saints into a night of ghoulish activities, costumes, and shopping bags full of candy! November brought Thanksgiving, which not only was the beginning of the holiday season but seemed to make us a bit more appreciative of the things for which to be grateful. There was a desire to savor the day in the company of family and friends, and it was perhaps one of the few holidays that genuinely made us reflect on the significance of that day. Then came Christmas for those of the Christian faith, and like most kids, it was a day we looked forward to since the end of summer. While it was supposed to signify the birth of Jesus Christ and God’s plan to bring salvation to the world, somehow, our focus was more about the gifts we showered on each other, and the Christ child in a manger got hidden behind that new bicycle and the mountain of toys.

I bet you think I forgot about April, didn’t you? For many, it represents the month that “God giveth and the taxman taketh away.” Perhaps Easter is God’s way of helping us endure that pain; however, Easter represents much more to me. The beginning of spring was starting to bloom. The air seemed fresher, and everything seemed to come back to life. As a child, my early recollections were of an Easter Bunny delivering a brightly colored basket full of jelly beans, a chocolate cross and rabbit, and a stuffed baby duckling, all nestled on a bed of colored cellophane grass. But, of course, no Easter would be complete without the dying of eggs and the Easter egg hunt that soon followed. As I got older, I thought, what sense did all of this make. Easter is supposed to be a celebration of the risen Christ and the hope of many for eternal life, and somehow we have a rabbit delivering colored eggs and candy. Did someone tell the rabbit he walked onto the wrong movie set?

I was relieved to find, according to Time, this “egg-laying hare” stems from a pagan tradition known as the Festival of Eostre, which honored the goddess of fertility and spring. It is said the goddess’s animal symbol was the rabbit, which stood for high fertility and reproduction rates. If you live in my community you will see first-hand the rabbits have successfully continued this time-honored tradition! However, in the 1700’s, German Immigrants coming to Pennsylvania brought this tradition of “Osterhase” or “Oschter Haws,” an egg-laying hare that would lay colorful eggs and give them to good children. I can’t tell you my relief as I must have been one of the good ones, or of mistaken identity, as I always awakened to a big Easter basket full of every sugar-filled treat known to man!

So what does Easter mean to me? Unlike most holidays steep in tradition, I always felt it was the start of something extraordinary inside me and the world around me. Everything seemed new and fresh; it was almost as if life was just beginning. As I’ve grown older, it has taken on a different perspective as chocolate bunnies and colored eggs have given way to more of a reflective period. Easter has almost become a better time to make those resolutions in bettering ourselves and sharing our gifts with others. I’ve often wondered if we make our New Year’s resolutions at the beginning of each year as something genuinely positive to look forward to, or is it our feeble attempt to distract us from the suffering of those long, harsh winters? After all, how many of those good intentions become just that after only a few short weeks? Yes, guilty as charged! For those who share the Christian faith, Christ’s death and resurrection was that opportunity to bury the old negative thoughts and way of life in exchange for a better, more rewarding eternal life. One in which we could find total enjoyment in the simple pleasures life had to offer without trying to create distractions to get us through each day. This is, to me, the actual “Hope Eternal,” as Easter has brought me a renewed appreciation for the things I have, the friends that surround me, and the hope of a better world to come.
My hope is this Easter season brings the same joy to you.
-Gary Cardillo

Time to Take a Pause April 2020 Newsletter

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I have always considered myself more of a spiritual type person, one who was more interested in learning about others, their thoughts and what brought them to their current walk in life. As far as I can remember, I can vividly recall conversations around those summer campfires where we shared life stories and explored parts unknown, at least to us as a bunch of young kids. We rode our bikes on dusty country roads often stopping to pick wild raspberries and honeysuckle.

We sat on the tailgate of our parent’s Ford Country Squire station wagon on our way to the beach where we swam all day, made sandcastles and threw jellyfish at each other. As if we didn’t spend enough time together during the day, many times we would sneak out at night to play flashlight tag or just sit and talk about the day’s events or what we would like to do when we grew up. My fondest recollections are those of summer when life seemed sweeter and gentler with each day being more savored.

 It was a time before electronics, emails and text messages replaced heartfelt handwritten letters and phone calls. Back then we enjoyed the simplicity life had to offer and some of the best plans and most fond memories were those that were made on the spur of the moment . Those are the times I cherish most and have kept me young at heart. I have never lost the simple pleasures gained from the scent of a flower, a freshly mowed lawn, the chirping of crickets at night or the sounds of laughter from others enjoying impromptu get-togethers. When we were impacted by the devastation from Hurricane Charley, we had a hint of capturing those moments once again. Forced out of our air-conditioned homes, living on the bare essentials, we found comfort in the company of friends and neighbors as we recovered together.

As a community, we all seemed to grow a bit closer. Today I see something vastly different. While we aren’t consumed picking up the pieces from homes and properties lost during Hurricane Charley, we have been forced to ” pause,” and with that pause, I am seeing people going back to those things I was so fond of as a child. I see couples taking early morning walks and riding bikes together. Many have taken to the water paddling kayaks or taking out those boats that have been sitting idle for months on lifts. I can hear the laughter of neighbors planning impromptu cocktail hours in the streets or on front lawns as they socially distance themselves from one another.  Long overdue phone calls are being made and facetime chats are now allowing us to speak with loved ones in real-time.

During this time I’ve often wondered if this was God’s way of bringing us back to the way of life he intended for us. Where those simple pleasures and friendships we enjoyed as kids were meant to be enjoyed as adults, and not to be taken for granted.For those who celebrate Easter and the significance of its meaning, this year will be one that is very different. No longer will people be getting dressed up to go to church. Children won’t be participating in community-sponsored Easter egg hunts and small gatherings with only immediate family for Easter dinner will become this year’s norm.

However,  this year could be the most special Easter many will experience as the pause in our lives that has been  created will allow us to  savor the significance of Easter and this new chapter in our lives even more.  Instead of searching for Easter baskets filled with jelly bean stuffed eggs and chocolate rabbits perhaps if we look even deeper under the artificial colored grass we  may find an egg filled with the book we’ve been wanting to read, another with the story we wanted to write, one containing the handwritten note to a friend that is long overdue or perhaps one with all those things we wanted to do or create if we only took the time.
For those who believe, Easter was one very special person’s sacrifice to give us a better life. One filled with simple pleasures to enjoy and friends to share them with. In a very different way,  this pause has given me an even greater appreciation for the things I cherished as a child, the friends we have made along the way and the blessings we’ve received and to know I can enjoy many of those things again.
My hope is this will be that wonderful period of reflection on the memories and dreams you savored as a child and celebrated with friends new and old you’ve met along the way.
-Gary Cardillo

Easter…More than Just Finding Eggs

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I remember as a young child growing up in New York the excitement we had getting up early to see what the Easter bunny left us. While we didn’t receive gifts like we did at Christmas, there was something very special seeing the big Easter baskets filled with chocolate bunnies, assorted jelly beans and those marshmallow “peeps.” We dyed our Easter eggs, usually winding up with as much dye on our fingers as we did on our eggs and who can forget the fun we had finding them on our Easter egg hunts in those hidden places in the yard our parents carefully hid them.
As I grew a little older, Easter took on a different meaning. Good Friday we took our Easter lilies, and hyacinth plants and visited the cemeteries of relatives who had passed and gave thanks for the sacrifices they made so we could enjoy the life we had. It was a special time of year as the fragrance of these flowers and the buds on the trees signaled spring was in the air, which to me represented the rebirth or awakening of a season I loved so much.
Today I look at Easter from a totally different perspective, but with the same gratitude I did in my younger years. I think of the significance of Easter and the impact and sacrifice Christ made for us all. However, it has also opened my eyes to the sacrifices some people make each day; foregoing the things we as a society consider success, in order to enrich the lives of others. One such person is Tom Parker, Area Director for Young Life.
Tom Parker, Area Director of Young Life

For those of you not familiar with Young Life, while it is described as a Christian based organization where staff and volunteers alike contribute their time to mentor and assist middle and high school students based on Christian values and principles, it is much more. Kids of all faiths, race and ethnic backgrounds are welcomed into an “authentic environment”where they can talk about the challenges they face in everyday life.

As for Tom, he was born and raised in Indiana and like most kids growing up loved sports and the friendships he made. Just out of college he felt a calling to get involved in “Youth for Christ,” which opened the door for the ministry he is serving today. After spending time mentoring kids in Indiana, opportunities in Texas and Alabama presented themselves where for a combined 10 years Tom served as a Youth Pastor on staff.  It was at their church in Alabama Tom and his wife Anna felt most at home, however, after 6 years the work environment changed as did the dynamics of the church. A move to Fort Myers, Florida was thought to be their next opportunity but after a year Tom said it wasn’t the fit they thought it would be. He said, “My heart may have still been partially in Alabama, as I still had connections there I kept in touch with that were like family to us.”
It was during this time of transition and soul searching he met Bill Loy, the Young Life area director in Fort Myers. Bill shared with Tom an opportunity to work for Young Life and the impact he could have on high school kids. He thought it might be  a good fit for Tom, since his heart was to be in a school setting mentoring kids . Taking a $20,000 per year cut in pay the rest is history as in the eight years Tom has been with Young Life he has watched this area grow and the lives that have been touched.
While Young Life is based on Christian principles, Tom said, “Today kids are looking for authentic relationships and will take criticism if they know the person sincerely cares.” He said as adults we strive for the “American Dream,” and all the trappings that go with it, but in the process many times the family unit is neglected. The children oftentimes don’t feel loved, wanted or cared for and they turn to social media which is a virtual reality world and often times almost used as a drug. When someone likes a status, a picture or just makes positive comment, clinically speaking it gives a sense of a high.Unfortunately, they base much of what they believe in from television and posts they read on social media.Tom continued by saying, “Snap Chat and Twitter allows them to share “snippets” of their lives, but only parts of their lives. Their communications skills have suffered as a result.” He feels this generation has lost much of its communications skills by using texts, Instagram and tweets to communicate with each other. He said most times there is no depth to their communication as through these social media avenues they control how much of their lives they’ll let you see. They hide their vulnerabilities and feelings since they can’t be seen.  Unlike previous generations, through television and video games they can recreate real life scenarios without the consequences. Unfortunately, we’re seeing the disconnect that results with many having difficulty in coping with real life situations associated with political discourse, school shootings and challenges they may be encountering at home.”When the trials get too tough, it is easier to walk away, and they do the same with relationships instead of facing them.” But Tom is quick to add, much of this behavior stems from watching the adults in their lives. When asked how they process school shootings, Tom said, “These are young adults whose brains are still developing, so while it is very difficult for adults to understand the  thought behind these tragedies, it is even harder for kids to process and express their feelings of loss and hurt.” 
When asked how kids are responding to the political environment we’re experiencing  today, where people seem to be talking at each other and not to each other, Tom said aside from social media kids today are being influenced largely by the thoughts and viewpoints from their educators which seem to override those of their parents. He continued by saying, “We are raising a generation of good test takers, not always good thinkers or problem solvers. We seem to be giving more theories on abstract thinking.”
When it comes to church and religion, Tom explained, “Churches, sometimes are waiting for kids to come to them rather than meeting them where they are. Many kids consider themselves spiritual, seeking out something to believe in, but are looking for something authentic and oftentimes times they don’t see it in some churches.
Tom shared with me  how not only are the kids feeling the benefit from the Young Life outreach, but parents have contacted him and shared their appreciation for the impact he is making on their children as well.
Through his ministry with Young Life weekly get-togethers in a home environment called “club” to summer trips to “camp,” where kids spend a week bonding in a camp like setting with a host of activities and opportunities to share life stories, new bonds are being forged authentically where they communicate and share experiences on a personal level and not through social media. Currently, Tom is overseeing Young Life’s new location at the Port Charlotte Town Center Mall that will offer mentoring and  tutoring opportunities for kids needing help with classwork, someone to talk to as they look for answers to challenges they are going through and a stage where they can act out skits they often share at club.
You may be asking yourself, why I’ve gone into such depth about the impact Tom and Young Life has made on these children and what it has to do with the Easter season.
Like Tom, I too  have had a passion for kids and for the better part of the last 17 years I’ve been part of a design team that has planned out the Young Life annual banquet which is coming up again this year on April 15th. Having coached kids in a variety of sports and seeing the impact and life lessons learned many times on the ball field, I have sensed that same level of satisfaction as finding that special Easter egg and looking inside to find the hidden prize. I saw kids develop a confidence they never thought they had when they got their first hit, or madetheir first basket. I saw how just participating an hour or so in a game gave them something to look forward to as an escape from a difficult home life. I also saw how playing in a team sport formed deeper  bonds and friendships than many were finding in their day to day encounters with others.
This is the environment Tom is helping to create in our area schools where kids from all walks of life can laugh and share life experiences in an authentic setting where they are accepted for who they are. 
Success to Tom was not the financial benefit he could receive in a high  paying job, it was touching the lives of kids who despite the knowledge they have in technology are looking for answers in how to cope with everyday life. As Tom says, “ the only way to find them is to be authentic, real and meet them where they are.”
If you would like to learn more about Tom and Young Life, or would like to support his efforts like many businesses and individuals have been doing, you can reach Tom at Tom@charlotteharbor.younglife.org or you can call him at 941-456-5433.
-Gary Cardillo

About The Gary Cardillo Group

Gary Cardillo, Realtor While most people would like to talk about themselves, Gary and Gail have always put their clients first, and their diverse backgrounds have provided their clients an unparalleled level of service and knowledge throughout the past years.
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