I think the first time I was old enough to understand the concept of an angel was when I looked at a nativity scene depicted on a Christmas card where two-winged figures were looking over the shoulders of Jesus Christ’s parents at their child in a manger. I didn’t know if this was strictly a Catholic thing, as none of my Jewish friends ever mentioned anything about having an angel of their own. I naturally assumed that to be an angel, you had to wear a white gown of sorts and wings any bird would envy. As I got a bit older and started losing my baby teeth, I was introduced to a nighttime visitor known as the Fairy Godmother. Sometime during my sleep, she would recycle my teeth and leave me with a quarter under my pillow. At that time, I wish I had more teeth to redeem, as a quarter was a lot of money for a child back then. I found out she, too, had wings, which was confusing, as she had wings, but was called a fairy instead of an angel. They both seemed nice, so the only common denominator I could figure out was that there had to be something in the wings, since neither appeared to be able to fly. Years later, I learned it was better to be considered an angel than a fairy, but I still associated angels with wings, which disqualified me.
For the longest time, I couldn’t figure out what the qualifications were for being an angel, as I never met one, and most of my friends and I made too many mistakes along the way to be remotely considered for “angelhood.” However, things changed the first time I heard my mother refer to someone as an angel. Imagine the look on my face when I saw my first one in real life, and no wings! Guess like Jesus, who wasn’t recognized as anything special by those in his hometown, there didn’t seem to be anything particularly special about the lady my mother was referring to. It was then that I started to understand what it meant to be an angel.
Given what makes someone an angel in the eyes of others, I think the first one I met was my mom. She was kind, patient, encouraging, and saw the best in others. I never heard her say an unkind word about anyone. While you may know others who embody the same qualities, it was her act of honesty that left an indelible impression on me. Years ago, when I was in my pre-teen years, our church was having a raffle, and the grand prize was a new Volvo automobile. A very prestigious prize back then. A dear friend of my mother’s had left to visit family in California and couldn’t purchase a ticket before she left. She asked if my mother would purchase one for her, along with one my mother purchased for herself. As luck would have it, one of the two tickets my mother purchased was the winning ticket, and when everyone congratulated my mother, she replied, “That was the ticket I bought for Dorothy.” As you can imagine, those who approached my mother said, “Dorothy would never know,” but my mom replied, “I would.” There would be many other examples I learned from her over the years, but her act of kindness and honesty was a hallmark moment for me, not to mention a tremendous life lesson.
Recently, our church here in Punta Gorda lost its Pastor who passed away in his sleep. His name was Father Jerome Kaywell, or Father Jerry as he was known to us. A Grammy Award recipient, composer, songwriter, and cancer survivor, who was one of the kindest souls you could meet. I had an opportunity years ago to interview Father Jerry for one of our monthly newsletters and felt the presence of someone uniquely special. He often used the term “mysticism” as part of his spiritual belief, which transcended the personality traits we have grown accustomed. He thought on a higher level. He wanted the church to think and embrace a higher level of thinking and understanding, where we would be more accepting of others, particularly those who didn’t necessarily share our core values. At 72 years of age, he was taken too early from us, but he impacted so many lives. He often confided in close associates his desire to be acknowledged as a Saint, which to me takes Angelhood to a whole new level. I don’t think you can find anyone who doesn’t feel they are a better person for knowing Father Jerry, and I count myself as one.
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that those we consider “angels” don’t fit a physical mold. Many times, it’s not their spoken word, but a certain presence that inspires us to be better. It can be through the gifts they share or just an act of kindness that gives us a paradigm shift in how we view the world, fostering a desire to make a difference in the lives of others.
Recently, I attended an awards ceremony hosted by some of the area’s Rotary Clubs held at the Charlotte County Events Center. Several hundred people were in attendance to acknowledge the acts of heroism, service, and support our firefighters, law enforcement personnel, and unique individuals provide to our community on a continuous basis. While each story was touching, with many risking their lives to save others, it was the look of gratitude on the faces of the lives they touched that you sensed would go on to perform the same acts for generations to come.
Of those who were recognized on that special evening, former educator, school community liaison, friend to many, and founder of the rock-and-soul band called the Boogiemen was Mike Riley. In his various capacities over the years, he has touched the lives of scores of people. His band was one of the most sought-after bands in all of southwest Florida, performing at over 180 charitable events over the decades. Riley, as he is known to his friends, has had a passion for the area’s children, encouraging them to pursue the goals and dreams they embody. Always self-deprecating, Riley has always celebrated the gifts and successes of others, and in his acceptance speech for the Charlie Shue Award, he encouraged those in attendance to make our community a better place for the children and to lead by example. It wasn’t the award he received, but an opportunity he would have, while battling a debilitating health issue, to inspire us all.
This award ceremony would leave us one last defining moment, when recipients of the Punta Gorda Police Department’s program, “Do the Right Thing,” were acknowledged. While we think of those unique individuals who impart years of wisdom from lives well lived, it was a young elementary school girl, whose intervention in saving the life of a fellow classmate contemplating suicide by jumping down a stairwell, made all of us realize angels are all around us. With poise and understanding, she coaxed her classmate to safety, with maturity and composure that far exceeded her years.
These are just some of the angels who walk among us each day. Their words may be simple. Their acts of encouragement, when needed most. Other times, it may be a warm embrace or a listening ear. But they all seem to have the same effect in leaving you with a better version of yourself and a desire to touch the lives of others.
This Easter season is a reminder for many of the life one person gave for so many others. It is with that same service to others that will inspire us all to make this world a better place for generations to come.
-Gary Cardillo
Then came Labor Day, and once again, we somehow interpreted this day that originated as an observance of the labor unions contributions to the U.S. economy, as almost a weekend of rest and one final celebration before heading back to the drudgery of another school year. If you were like me, I bet you couldn’t wait for Halloween to arrive, and whoever would have thought we could have turned a day of observance for the deceased, martyrs, and saints into a night of ghoulish activities, costumes, and shopping bags full of candy! November brought Thanksgiving, which not only was the beginning of the holiday season but seemed to make us a bit more appreciative of the things for which to be grateful. There was a desire to savor the day in the company of family and friends, and it was perhaps one of the few holidays that genuinely made us reflect on the significance of that day. Then came Christmas for those of the Christian faith, and like most kids, it was a day we looked forward to since the end of summer. While it was supposed to signify the birth of Jesus Christ and God’s plan to bring salvation to the world, somehow, our focus was more about the gifts we showered on each other, and the Christ child in a manger got hidden behind that new bicycle and the mountain of toys.
I bet you think I forgot about April, didn’t you? For many, it represents the month that “God giveth and the taxman taketh away.” Perhaps Easter is God’s way of helping us endure that pain; however, Easter represents much more to me. The beginning of spring was starting to bloom. The air seemed fresher, and everything seemed to come back to life. As a child, my early recollections were of an Easter Bunny delivering a brightly colored basket full of jelly beans, a chocolate cross and rabbit, and a stuffed baby duckling, all nestled on a bed of colored cellophane grass. But, of course, no Easter would be complete without the dying of eggs and the Easter egg hunt that soon followed. As I got older, I thought, what sense did all of this make. Easter is supposed to be a celebration of the risen Christ and the hope of many for eternal life, and somehow we have a rabbit delivering colored eggs and candy. Did someone tell the rabbit he walked onto the wrong movie set?
It was during this time of transition and soul searching he met Bill Loy, the Young Life area director in Fort Myers. Bill shared with Tom an opportunity to work for Young Life and the impact he could have on high school kids. He thought it might be a good fit for Tom, since his heart was to be in a school setting mentoring kids . Taking a $20,000 per year cut in pay the rest is history as in the eight years Tom has been with Young Life he has watched this area grow and the lives that have been touched.
Tom continued by saying, “Snap Chat and Twitter allows them to share “snippets” of their lives, but only parts of their lives. Their communications skills have suffered as a result.” He feels this generation has lost much of its communications skills by using texts, Instagram and tweets to communicate with each other. He said most times there is no depth to their communication as through these social media avenues they control how much of their lives they’ll let you see. They hide their vulnerabilities and feelings since they can’t be seen. Unlike previous generations, through television and video games they can recreate real life scenarios without the consequences. Unfortunately, we’re seeing the disconnect that results with many having difficulty in coping with real life situations associated with political discourse, school shootings and challenges they may be encountering at home.”When the trials get too tough, it is easier to walk away, and they do the same with relationships instead of facing them.” But Tom is quick to add, much of this behavior stems from watching the adults in their lives. When asked how they process school shootings, Tom said, “These are young adults whose brains are still developing, so while it is very difficult for adults to understand the thought behind these tragedies, it is even harder for kids to process and express their feelings of loss and hurt.”
experiences on a personal level and not through social media. Currently, Tom is overseeing Young Life’s new location at the Port Charlotte Town Center Mall that will offer mentoring and tutoring opportunities for kids needing help with classwork, someone to talk to as they look for answers to challenges they are going through and a stage where they can act out skits they often share at club.
Like Tom, I too have had a passion for kids and for the better part of the last 17 years I’ve been part of a design team that has planned out the Young Life annual banquet which is coming up again this year on April 15th. Having coached kids in a variety of sports and seeing the impact and life lessons learned many times on the ball field, I have sensed that same level of satisfaction as finding that special Easter egg and looking inside to find the hidden prize. I saw kids develop a confidence they never thought they had when they got their first hit, or madetheir first basket. I saw how just participating an hour or so in a game gave them something to look forward to as an escape from a difficult home life. I also saw how playing in a team sport formed deeper bonds and friendships than many were finding in their day to day encounters with others.
While most people would like to talk about themselves, Gary and Gail have always put their clients first, and their diverse backgrounds have provided their clients an unparalleled level of service and knowledge throughout the past years.