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The Meaning of True Love

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As Valentine’s Day is upon us, we think of it as celebrating the romance of couples in love. Men shower their wives or girlfriends with arrangements of red roses, a romantic dinner and cap it off with a heart-shaped box of chocolates. We reflect on the day we first met and celebrate our love. While I embrace that tradition, I’ve learned that “True Love” isn’t reserved just for couples in love.

One of the sweetest love stories I’ve ever known is not of a husband and wife but of a mother and daughter, and the love they share goes well beyond their bond. Anyone who has met Nanette Leonard and her mother, Adeline Seakwood, knows of their lasting contributions and passion to their chosen professions, community, and friends. Volumes have been written about their storied careers in the entertainment industry, and for someone who just celebrated her 100th birthday, Adeline’s life is nothing short of remarkable. Born in Brooklyn in 1923, she was enamored with New York City’s entertainment industry. Starting as a John Robert Powers model, she went on to appear in several films before taking on the highly skilled position as a production secretary, a title she later had the industry change to “Production Office Coordinator.” The production office was the “brain” that organized a film’s necessary functions. Adeline handled budgets, production schedules, transportation, locations, permits, equipment rentals, billing, getting catered food on set, and communicating with crew members and the actors. From her appearance in Alfred Hitchcock’s “North by Northwest,” Adeline worked on numerous TV shows that, included “Naked City,” “The Patty Duke Show,” and “The Defenders.”

She also worked on major motion pictures where she rubbed shoulders with Paul Newman, Christopher Reeve, Michael J. Fox, Farrah Fawcett, Burt Reynolds, and Peter Falk of Colombo fame. She recounts a story of a last-minute script change on the last day of shooting of “Three Days of the Condor,” starring Robert Redford. While Adeline’s role was typically off-camera and behind the scenes, she rushed to the movie set that was in Manhattan to deliver the revised pages. Spectators who were cordoned off behind the ropes wanted to know who the woman was that was delivering the script to Robert Redford, who then picked her up and kissed her. Without missing a beat, Adeline said, “that’s how rumors start.”

In 2016 I had the pleasure of interviewing Nanette Leonard, Adeline’s daughter. Like her mother, Nanette is not comfortable having the spotlight shine on her. I think it’s safe to say you would have an easier time getting the combination to Fort Knox than you can get Nanette to talk about her extraordinary life. Growing up in Stuyvesant Town in New York City, Nanette was exposed to the vibe of big city life and the culture that went along with it. She developed an appreciation for music and the arts at a young age by taking guitar and piano lessons, even writing half a dozen songs. With a smile, she added, “There wasn’t any way I could ever quit my day job.” However, like her mother, the entertainment industry was in her blood.

Nan an experienced public relations/marketing professional and producer with over 40 years in the entertainment industry began her career at Allied Artists Pictures, serving as Publicity Manager, working on PR campaigns for Academy Award-winning films that included, “Cabaret,” “The Man Who Would Be King,” and “Papillon.” At United Artists, Nan served as East Coast Director of Publicity, mounting PR campaigns on such films as “Raging Bull,” the Bond films, “The French Lieutenant’s Woman,” starring Meryl Streep, and has worked with Steve Guttenberg, Marvin Hamlisch, Alan King, Jay Leno, and Redbook Magazine. In the 80s, Nan became Senior Vice President at Solters/Roskin/Friedman, one of the largest entertainment PR firms, where she represented Whoopi Goldberg and helped launch her career. Also included in a long list of celebrities Nan represented are Dolly Parton, Gregory Peck, Frances Ruffelle (“Les Miserables”), and Anthony Crivello (Kiss of the Spider Woman). In 1992, Nanette opened her agency, “Nanette Leonard Public Relations,” servicing a diverse clientele that included two-time Tony Award-winning actress Judith Ivey, Tony Award winner Anthony Crivello, international television personality, journalist, and author, Cristina Saralegui, Michael Uslan (Executive Producer of all the Batman films) and a host of organizations that reads like a “Who’s Who.”

One would think with just a fraction of their impressive resumes I’m sharing, Adeline and Nanette would find contentment reminiscing on their extraordinary past. However, those experiences have provided a foundation for the care and service they continue to give their community and the lives they touch. Unlike the typical daughter taking care of a mother relationship; this is more like George Burns and Gracie Allen; comedian and straight man, with Adeline being the comedian. As I entered their home, I was taken aback by the hundreds of cards, flowers, and balloons from Adeline’s recent 100th birthday celebration. Among all the gifts and early Valentine’s Day decorations was a signed picture from Robert Redford, congratulating Adeline on her special day. Sensing I was somewhat overwhelmed, Adeline grabbed my arm and, pointing to Nanette, said, “You know Nurse Radchet” (of “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest” fame), don’t you?” I couldn’t help but laugh, knowing this would be one of my most entertaining interviews. Adeline is as quick-witted as Nanette is humble. Each time Nanette would leave the room to answer one of the many calls she received, Adeline would proudly share Nan’s accomplishments and tell me how proud she is of all her achievements and how much she appreciates all Nan does for her. She said, “She’s added ten years to my life.” I would venture to say, “Much more.”

I recall the movie “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button,” where a man played by Brad Pitt starts aging backward. As each year passes, he gets progressively younger-looking. Adeline and Nanette would be a real-life version of this movie. As long as I’ve known them, they look younger with each passing day. Adeline shared with me a previous interview she did where the radio host asked, “Your complexion is so good; what do you use?” The story goes she looked at Nanette, “who looked back in horror and gave her a “NO, Don’t say it,” signal, and said, “I was going to say because I use Preparation H, a standard application in the modeling industry, but so as not to embarrass Nanette I said, “Dove Soap.” Alfred Hitchcock, too, was mesmerized by her beauty during the filming “North by Northwest,” and said she was “too pretty” to put into a street scene as an extra and put her in an elevator scene behind Cary Grant. On the first take, Grant stood in front of her so she couldn’t be seen. As filming paused, without missing a beat, Adeline whispered in Grant’s ear, “My mother would never forgive you.”

You would think with backgrounds like theirs, they would have been attracted to a larger city, but Adeline’s husband, who was the love of her life she lost in 2016, said he needed the warm weather. Adeline shared, “The first thing I ever said to him after being married was, “One place I never want to live is Florida.” When he asked why, she said, “Your hair comes down the minute you walk out the door, and your makeup falls off.” She still feels his loss and says he would often tell her, “God outdid himself when he created you,” and “I won the lottery in life the day I met you.” Adeline said their marriage was idyllic, and together wrote 25 love songs about their relationship.

For Nanette, the move to Punta Gorda was an act of love. Having lived in Middletown, New Jersey, for 34 years, Nan was not only relocating her business but leaving friends and organizations she had supported for years. Affectionately she added, “It’s a circle of life. My parents took care of me; it was my time to take care of them.” Nan continued, “My stepdad would often say, “My blood may not run through your veins, but my love does.” For Nan, the move was a leap of faith. “I didn’t know what I was going to do,” but she committed to herself that she would recreate the type of life she had in New Jersey in Punta Gorda. Some people take a lifetime to leave a lasting impression on their community and friends; for Adeline and Nanette, very few organizations haven’t benefitted from their love and commitment. For 30 years, Adeline has been a Punta Gorda Civic Association member and is known to all as the “Sunshine Lady.” While the role was considered an Ambassador of sorts welcoming new members, she expanded the role to offer solace and encouragement to the ill and bereaved. Adeline said, “I always write notes to people, letting people know there is someone who cares about them. She continued, “From the moment I moved to Punta Gorda 30 years ago, I wanted to give back to my community, and I’m always forming groups.” She recounted a group of women she formed where one came and said, “I miss my mother,” Without hesitation, I said, “You could have me as Mom #2.”

The woman threw her arms around Adeline and said, “Would you?” that is how it started and grew from there. Some collect jewelry, antiques, and autograph pictures; I collect friends.” On the other hand, Nan champions more causes in the community than you can imagine. She has a soft heart for animals and is on the board of directors with the Welfare League. Aside from her countless hours of community service, Nanette created her organization called “Fresh Jersey Tomatoes (FJT). What started as a few ladies from New Jersey who met at a restaurant reminiscing about their lives back home now boasts over 350 members. Now in its 8th year, FJT’s has collected toys to benefit Charlotte Behavioral Health Care, and filled a 58-foot trailer with supplies sent to Ukraine to help those suffering in their war-torn nation.

In 2015 Nan brought a short film festival to Charlotte County and the Punta Gorda Short Film Festival was born. Along with her business partner, Doug LeClaire, director and creator of Asbury Shorts/USA (New York City’s longest-running concert of award-winning short films), it is as a celebration of the World’s Best Short Films.”

Adeline and Nanette share their unique backgrounds and commitment to serving others continually and feel Punta Gorda is the “smallest city with the biggest heart.” Yet despite their ongoing community involvement, they savor their moments together. They leave loving notes for each other and end each day watching a rerun together of “Everyone Loves Raymond. As they turn out the lights of another productive day, they each make the shape of a heart with their hands and finish by saying, “I love you.” Then out of the darkness, a voice replies, “I love you more.”

In today’s age, where tradition, compassion, and service to others are often missing, I was honored to be invited into a home filled with so much love and embodied an aura of a sweeter, kinder, and gentler era. As I was leaving, Nanette shared with me the video tribute of her mother’s 100-year celebration. I was surprised to find out what an accomplished pianist she is. While Nanette plays the guitar, both play by ear, and similar to the Beatles, neither can read music, which confirms my belief music comes from the soul.

I often consider how blessed I was to have grown up in a loving family and, for the past 34 years, have had an equally loving marriage. As I got back into my car, I couldn’t help but feel the contagiousness of the love story Adeline and Nanette shared with me. After losing my mother and mother-in-law, it was very gratifying to know I walked away having been adopted by another “Mom” as well.

-Gary Cardillo

Meaningful New Year’s Resolutions

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Before the start of this New Year, I asked myself, “What resolution could I make this year that would be different from those of years past and one that would have a lasting effect?” Typically most say they would exercise more, take on a long overdue task of some kind, or take advantage of those things they had been postponing for too long, such as boating, golf, reading a good book, etc. While I am just as guilty that many of my resolutions over the years initially became great ideas, they became just another great idea in a few short months. This year I wanted something more meaningful than just personal improvement. If you recall the exercise scene in the movie Arthur 2 with Dudley Moore, entitled “On the Rocks, No Pain, No Gain,” Arthur’s grandmother tells him how her doctor recommended she get a little exercise. So she hires a personal trainer. At that time, I thought, “If she can do it, so can I” Well, this hunk of a guy comes to her home, where she proceeds to sit on the couch with tea cup in hand and turns on the workout music only to watch him go through a series of exercises. I’m sure many would think, “Well, that’s one way of scratching off an item from my New Year’s resolution list,” but when I look at my years of unfulfilled resolutions, I think, “why wait any longer?” The book I started writing some years ago remains unfinished, and getting more involved in serving my community seems to have taken on more of a sense of urgency this time.

Some attribute their lack of commitment to fear of failure, doubt, or simply letting life get in the way. Unfortunately, many of the most excellent intentions and inventions remain unfulfilled. Evangelist Joel Osteen once said, “Cemeteries are full of great ideas and inventions that never came to fruition,” which is a sobering reminder, especially as we get older. We are surrounded by those in our community who have amazing success stories and tireless efforts that have inspired others to get involved in making our community one that has gained national recognition. So why are we waiting?

I share a story of blues and rock guitar virtuoso Mike Imbasciani, who has not only entertained multiple generations of local followers for years but is now looking to inspire his generation. Using a combination of music and podcasts Mike challenges the younger generation to get more involved in local politics and become more self-reliant. He believes this leads to “self-sustainability.” We first saw Mike perform when he was so young a hat was passed around to pay him. I was amazed to learn he began playing guitar at five years of age and by 11 was playing professionally. He started his first band at 14 and has compiled a resume of venues he’s played, including The House of Blues in Orlando, Florida, and Tootsie’s Orchid Lounge in Nashville, Tennessee.

While there are many talented bands and musicians in the entertainment industry, Mike is wise beyond his age at 26. His music has entertained generations, but now he’s reaching out to a younger generation, challenging them to better understand economic and political decision-making bodies within their community and become more astute to the changes in the world today.

Growing up in a conservative household, Mike became more interested in politics in 2008. He said he liked listening to Rush Limbaugh and loved how he got his audience to laugh. While he was a conservative talk show host, Mike often heard Rush tell those who called him to do the research themselves and not just listen to one political party’s opinion. Several years ago, I was curious to hear about this radio personality people were talking about and tuned into his program to hear for myself. On that day, two 20-year-old young ladies expressed how they considered themselves more liberal and asked Rush if they should listen more to what he had to say. His reply astounded me: “You need to question everything you read and hear and then make your own decision based on what you’ve researched and not on what someone tells you.” Mike added, “Glenn Beck said the same years ago, “Do your own homework.”

Through his political and current events based internet podcast, which he calls “The Freedom Chronicles,” Mike wants to get his generation more involved in their community and to ask the questions most take at face value. He said too many people his age don’t want to listen to the news, as it is too biased. They become influenced by the latest opinions and trends found on social media. I heard this same viewpoint from former Younglife area director Tom Parker who said people use social media as their source of information and communication. I remember my interview with Tom, who said,” Today’s generation is more guarded and only shares what they want you to hear.” I learned from him pure communication is often missing, and no longer are they taught to question what is being presented to them, whether it is in school, on social media, or just the opinion of a friend.

Mike is looking at this next generation, which could run for office in a few years. He feels they need to stop relying on government handouts and start questioning the decision makers, parties, and what the media is promoting that are collectively influencing our thought processes. Mike recounted his experience and the negative feedback he received when incorporating the Beatle’s 1968 song, “Back in the U.S.S.R.,” into his repertoire. People asked why he would play a song that held life in the U.S.S.R. in such high regard. They never thought to research Paul McCartney’s thought process in writing the song, which was considered a musical satire that poked fun at just about everyone during that time. Mike explains this is what is going on today. “People don’t question, they take everything at face value, and there is no middle ground. People don’t talk to each other; they talk at each other,” a viewpoint I’ve had for years. He feels both sides of the aisle and the media share most of the blame. However, he feels it goes deeper, and people in general, and his generation in particular, need to get to the root cause of the things that impact society today. Many take the approach that until they feel it affects them personally, there is no need to take action, almost like the frog in boiling water. Mike wants to get people to draw their line in the sand and not play the role of the victim but take action before it is too late. He quoted Psychologist Jordan Peterson, who explained in a GQ interview the thought behind self-defense. He said, “You need to have the capacity for danger. You need to be dangerous. But you need to learn how not to use it except when necessary.” The premise behind his comment was to understand things are not always as they appear, and with knowledge of the underlying cause comes the ability to anticipate and protect one’s self. Mike feels most people are quick to point out the injustices they experience but aren’t willing to take the necessary steps to affect change. His goal is to get his generation, in particular, to start looking at the deeper motives of those that are driving the various issues such as abortion, Covid, the economy, cryptocurrency, the stock market, worldwide financial markets and trends, ongoing wars, and even CBDC (Central Bank Digital Currency; making your money programmable by the government), to name a few. In short, he wants his generation to understand who and what controls these issues that impact us all and how they benefit from them. He feels things are moving very quickly, yet there is a complacency where young people today think if they don’t see how it is affecting them, there is no sense of urgency to question it. He wants his generation to become more aware and self-reliant, which he feels will lead to being more self-sufficient and less dependent on government handouts, which only creates more dependency.

When questioned why he relates to older generations, Mike said he learns more from their life experiences, and having a grandfather who served in World War II has added to his interest in history. His podcasts are full of interesting guests who share their viewpoints, life experiences, and even some with rags-to-riches stories. A few such guests are comedian Bobby “Sauce” Saucilito, who entertains his audience using political humor to get people thinking. At the same time, Tyrone Jackson of “The Good Frank” fame talks about how they went from having a hot dog cart to creating their highly successful brand of hot dogs that arose when they researched the harmful ingredients that went into the hot dogs they sold from their cart.

Mike feels entertainment should be an outlet for us to enjoy and not be used as a political outlet, as we see in sports and entertainment today. “Music and other forms of entertainment can be interpreted in their own way, which keeps it on the individual level once again.” His “Simply Clapton” show pays tribute to this highly regarded artist and reaches across multiple generations. “Music, like comedy, is powerful where people can leave politics behind and forget about their problems.” Mike’s “Imbasciani Chronicles” on Apple Podcast, Youtube, and Spotify is another platform that is music and entertainment based, promotes more of a one-on-one conversation. His podcasts (The Freedom Chronicles and The Imbasciani Chronicles) aim to provide opportunities to get his audience to think about the issues of the day and to have a dialogue.

We tend to categorize people by the career they have chosen. We see them as doctors, lawyers, football players, and musicians, to name a few. Then we get to know them and find their backgrounds and interests astound us. Mike was that surprise and made me realize we each have a story to tell that could benefit the next generation. That in itself made me re-evaluate my New Year’s resolution.

Music is a language we all enjoy, and Mike and his “BluezRockerz” will continue to reach across generations, and with his “Simply Clapton” tribute show, hopes to reach a younger age who someday could become our next great leaders.

For a great night of entertainment, go to his website www.mikeimbasciani.com for all his upcoming shows. His political and current event’s based internet podcast, “The Freedom Chronicles,” can be viewed on Rumble (www.rumble.com), CTA (Conservative television of America www.CTVA.TV ) as well as YouTube, Spotify and Bitchute. Mike’s music and entertainment based one-on-one music-based podcast, “The Imbasciani Chronicles,” can be seen on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Podcast.

 

-Gary Cardillo

Thanks…..Giving

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I always look forward to this time of year, and believe it or not, it starts with Halloween. While each season brings us something different, I think the joy and anticipation of the holidays make this time of the year a little more special. It all begins with the fun on that ghoulish Halloween evening where we enjoy watching kids dress up as their favorite characters, filling their bags with candy as they “trick or treat” their way around the neighborhood. I remember those days dressing up in costume myself, coming home with enough candy to feed a small country, much to my dentist’s delight. As I’ve grown older, that exuberance has evolved into a satisfaction I see in others having on this fun-filled evening.

A few weeks later, we go from ghosts and goblins to pilgrims and turkeys. We welcome a season of thanksgiving and seem to rekindle more vital compassion for others. It is a time of year when our greatest joy comes from giving more than receiving. We seem to find inner peace in decorating our homes and listening to the season’s music, pausing to cherish each moment.

While I’ve always wanted to savor each holiday to its fullest, like many, we were ready to usher in the holidays earlier this year so we could inject a little joy into our lives after the devastating effects of Hurricane Ian. While I think most of us experienced less impact from this storm than we did from Hurricane Charley 18 years ago, it does make you stop and take stock of what is essential in life.

I recently had the opportunity again to be part of a unique team of volunteers assembled by Punta Gorda Police Officer Joe Angelini that hosted 51 foster families and 144 foster children to a holiday luncheon. This touching holiday event started seven years ago, a year after Joe became a resource officer at Sally Jones Elementary School. Always having had a special place in his heart for children, Joe recounts how the school principal asked him if he would take a little first-grade boy named Lucas under his wing. Joe agreed that the department would put him back patrolling the streets the following year, which was part of his service to the community he enjoyed. Little did Joe know the impact this child would have on him.

At the principal’s request, she asked if Joe would make time to have lunch with this young boy to build a bond and see if he could find out the cause of Lucas’ deviant behavior. Joe said at first he was puzzled why a child this age would exhibit such an incidence of this kind of behavior, but as Lucas opened up to Joe, he shared how he had bounced back in forth between 10 foster homes in Lee in Charlotte Counties in one year. It was then Joe realized this boy needed more stability and a bit of a father figure and confidant. Joe started to take Lucas off campus to places like McDonald’s, where he could experience some of the pleasures children in a more normalized home setting enjoyed. Through their time together, Joe gained an intimate insight into how children in Lucas’ situation were starving for a permanent place they could call home.

While we reminisced what it was like growing up and coming down Christmas morning to see the brightly colored presents Santa brought us the night before, Joe felt an emotional tug at his heart. He saw how the holidays often accentuated the transient hand these children were dealt. Despite the best efforts, these foster families were trying to provide the love and stability the children lacked. Joe felt these families and children needed more than a holiday lunch. They needed something where memories were made. He met with Pastor Tim Buck of First Methodist Church in Punta Gorda, now New Life Church, along with various community leaders and restauranteurs, and the groundwork was established. Hearing what Joe was planning, an elderly lady in the community anonymously provided presents for each one of the children. Joe confided, “She provided, and the Christmas Elves wrapped.”

Hearing of Joe’s love for these children, the Children’s Network of Florida has reached out to Joe with children and families in desperate need of holiday cheer that will carry them throughout the New Year. Joe told them, “If you know of a child in need, share that with us, and we’ll make sure their Christmas is a bit more special.”

Over these seven years, this 14-year Veteran of the Punta Gorda Police force has created an event to remember. The buffet-style luncheon is more like a feast with fresh roasted turkey and enough side dishes and desserts to feed an army. The food is delivered to the homeless shelter if anything is left over. After lunch, the children are treated to take part in a photo booth, a cookie decorating station, and one where they can create their ice cream sundaes. Of course, what holiday event would be complete without a personal visit and picture with Santa? Local musicians play holiday music throughout the event in the background, along with various festive decorations and lighted Christmas trees. It is a beautiful setting to behold. However, the best is yet to come.

Upon leaving, each child receives 3-4 personal gifts to take home, and the foster parents receive a festive holiday bag with all the side dish staples and a gift certificate to Publix for a turkey that will feed up to a family of twelve for a beautiful Christmas dinner.

I’ve often wondered what gives us the most satisfaction in life and as I’ve grown older it isn’t the presents I’ve received, it is the joy of giving, and the look of surprise on someone’s face that gives me the most pleasure. As I walked around the sea of tables, clearing them so the church could set up for their service the following morning, a couple of the children asked if they could clear the tables with me. To see these little ones that weren’t more than ten years of age wearing adult disposable gloves and clearing the tables with me spoke volumes about how grateful they were. They had no idea how much they touched my heart.

As Joe and I sat together recapping the day’s events, he said, “Gary, I think about this event every day of the year and how we can make it better and touch the lives of more families and children.” I thought, “You didn’t just make their lives better; you made mine better as well.” I was given the opportunity to give, and to me, that was priceless.

As the holidays quickly approach, we want to send our best wishes to you and your family for all the happiness this season brings, and that not only will you be blessed in the New Year, but so will the lives of others whose lives you touch.

-Gary Cardillo

Hurricane Ian and The Art of War

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It seems like yesterday when Hurricane Charley came ashore and devastated our area. Call it complacency or just lack of experience, but I haven’t come across anyone who thought that storm was going to take a right-hand turn into Charlotte Harbor and create the devastating damage that it did. Perhaps it was due to having a Governor whose brother was the President of the United States at the time, but the speed at which our area was back on its feet was miraculous, and one that was well-documented in the media. The community came together and with the help of a master planner, our city came back better and stronger than anyone could have imagined. What struck me most was the heartfelt compassion so many had who came to our rescue. Those who tried to gouge, or take advantage of us were quickly dealt with, while others came from all over the country to lend their support.

Our friend and insurance agent was Bill Martin, who owned the State Farm Agency in Punta Gorda at the time. I remember seeing him manning the makeshift State Farm command center that was set up in the Publix Shopping center parking lot in Port Charlotte. People were searching for answers on what to do, still somewhat in shock from the devastation that came upon us almost without warning. Watching Bill handle each person with such style and grace was like having your security blanket. You couldn’t help but feel his sincerity that we would get through this together. For us, it was a seamless transition, as the field adjuster who came to our home was equally caring and conveyed that same feeling that we would be well taken care of, and we were.

Having a home 15 ft. from a seawall doesn’t give you much hope if a storm surge is in the forecast, and just like Charley, we weren’t expecting to come back to a home with Hurricane Ian either. Fortunately for us, we were spared however, our sense of being in good hands was to be short-lived.

Most would agree, Hurricane Charley, inflicted more damage to our area than Hurricane Ian. Perhaps it is due to newer building codes or after going through one hurricane we protected our homes and businesses much better, but overall I think for the exception of some, most fared a bit better. Having dodged a bullet of sorts, I felt based on our past claim experience with Charley, this would be handled with the same compassion. Unfortunately, Bill had retired and the field adjuster we had this time had an agenda. It was very apparent from the outset his goal was to help us as little as possible in recovering from the loss we incurred.

I’ve never been an ambulance chaser and don’t believe in cheating the system to claim things we are not entitled, but when you don’t put in for claims and still get increases in your premiums, it is a hard pill to swallow when in your time of need you are treated like the adversary.

Having been a Realtor for 18 years, we’ve helped many clients over those years navigate inspection reports and repairs so they can enjoy a smooth closing. We’ve learned a great deal from inspectors and contractors alike, and the difference between a repair and replacement. So you can imagine my frustration when our insurance field adjuster went on our 18-year-old roof and after surveying all the broken tiles said, “This can be repaired.” When I asked him about all the loose tiles he missed he replied, “Let me know if you see anything and I’ll add it to my report.” Anyone who knows me, knows I don’t like heights. Unless my roof was the height of my dining room table I wasn’t going to climb my roof to point out all the tiles he missed….thus began my “Art of War.”

Sun Tzu’s, “The Art of War,” is a philosophy that war should be avoided and if it can’t it should be fought psychologically and strategically to minimize loss or damage. Having worked in cut-throat industries in New York City, applying the principles of Sun Tzu’s approach would be the last thing I would have been taught to consider. Do I take the field adjuster’s ladder away and leave him up on the roof so he can see all the damage the roofers who did go up on the roof point out to me? Do I toss him up a stronger pair of glasses? Maybe I even ask if he’s even done this before? I’m sure those approaches wouldn’t work in my favor, but when your insurance company tells you that you need a repair and the suppliers for roofing materials they gave you say “Your tile was discontinued a “long, long time ago,” you realize you have to fight for yourself. So like many, I now have to fight my battle with contractors I have little or no experience with, and for someone who doesn’t know where to turn, this can be frightening.

How do you know which roofer is being honest with you and not just looking to gouge the insurance company, when all you need is a repair? What about all the other damage to your pool cage or other items that were destroyed? It starts with having a good insurance broker who can guide you through the claims process. Then if you aren’t fortunate enough to get an adjuster who is keeping your best interests in mind, you have to get as many opinions and references as possible before signing anything. Whatever you do, don’t sign over your benefits, otherwise known as A.O.B., and not to be confused with New York Congresswoman A.O.C.

A.O.B. is the acronym for “Assignment Of Benefits” and some people have unwittingly fallen victim to signing these over to a third party, who can be a roofing contractor or someone claiming to be working in your best interests. For those of you unfamiliar with the process, by signing over your claim benefits you are now on the outside looking in as all decisions and reimbursements will be going to the third party. You are no longer in control of your insurance benefits or reimbursements. In Florida, you do have a 14-day rescission period in which to cancel that agreement, but it is best to seek the advice of an attorney or your insurance broker before signing anything. Some people will automatically engage the services of a public adjuster to fight their battles. I look at this as more the last option than my first. Public adjusters on average will make ten percent of the total claim. If the insurance company doesn’t reimburse you enough to cover their “commission” you are on the hook. If you have a deductible of $5,000-10,000 and you have $60,000-100,000 in damages, and the insurance company is only looking to cover the cost for damages and nothing more, you could be out of pocket another $6,000-10,000 on top of your deductible. Another thing to consider is the contract you are signing with a roofer. Are you bound to them regardless of whether they get enough money to complete your roof repair or replacement, or are you responsible to make up the difference? Questions you need to ask aside from getting a quote and an estimated time of completion to complete the job are 1. Is there a cancellation period in the contract should I decide to terminate this agreement? 2. Am I bound to you if the insurance company is unwilling to agree to your estimate?

While I’ve been sharing my experience with a roofer and an insurance company that seems more concerned with their interests than helping us through this time, there is a reason many of you may be experiencing what we are. Ask any insurance broker how many questionable claims for new roofs were submitted years after Hurricane Irma impacted Florida. They’ve shared with us the weather-related causes we just didn’t experience, but that it was cheaper to pay the claim than battle in court. As a result, insurance companies are now insuring roofs for less time than the projected lifespan from the manufacturer. On average, an insurance company will insure a shingle roof for 10-15 years, a tile roof for 20-25 years, and a metal roof for 25-30 years before requiring you to replace it to continue coverage. The question becomes, “Is the insurance company looking to “repair” when you need a replacement, knowing in a few short years you’ll need to incur the cost of replacement yourself?” The important thing to keep in mind is to get several estimates from respectable contractors who have good reviews and standing with the Better Business Bureau. For those living in the general area, you can always reach out to the Charlotte Desoto Building Industry Association otherwise known as the CDBIA. They are comprised of local contractors, lenders, and related trades and services that can give you guidance and resources when needed. While none of us want to wait for a prolonged period to get our homes put back together, don’t feel pressured to sign a contract until you’ve thoroughly researched the company and the contract. Our understanding is you have up to a year to file a claim, but check with your insurance broker to verify the details of your policy.

Despite going through a major storm for the second time in 18 years, we are safe and just like last time, our homes and our community will come back better than before, and we’ll all grow a little closer to each other.

 

-Gary Cardillo

Love Languages and The Art of the Deal

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In 1987 Donald Trump co-penned a book with journalist Tony Schwartz entitled “The Art of the Deal.” While there is some discrepancy as to how much Trump contributed to the book, it was supposed to be part memoir, part business advice. Being from New York, Trump’s name seemed to be on everything from billboards advertising his commercial projects throughout the city and around the country, to his ownership of a fleet of commercial aircraft called “Trump Shuttle.” So who wouldn’t want to read this book and find some nugget of advice on how to negotiate, as he always seemed to come out on the winning end of the deal. As I learned later in life from people who had transactions with him The Marquees of Queensbury Rules did not apply.

Having majored in Psychology, I’ve always been fascinated by how people interact with each other, and how circumstances can affect the way a person reacts from one situation to the next. Nothing has been a better case study to me than watching how people react during a hurricane or the recent pandemic. With another hurricane threatening to possibly impact our area, I couldn’t help but look back and think, “Haven’t we learned anything?”
Hurricane Charley took all of us by surprise, as many, including myself, were breathing an early sigh of relief as we watched reports that Charley had his eye on making landfall in the Tampa area. When he decided the waters of Charlotte Harbor looked too good to pass up we learned a very hard lesson in disaster preparedness. One would think with a lesson like that, we’d be able to take things a bit more in stride and plan well in advance without the panic buying of gas and water we are currently seeing. And don’t think we haven’t experienced this in the real estate market as well. Why do we jump into this hoarding for ourselves mentality? My thought has been, “Unless we just increased our population two or three-fold, shouldn’t our normal buying practices be able to carry us through without taking more than we need and leaving very little for others?” When the pandemic hit everyone purchased paper towels, hand sanitizer, and toilet paper. I thought, “Has everyone become a doctor where shelves were stripped bare of hand sanitizers, masks, and latex gloves?” Nothing was left for doctors and those in poor health. Some physicians I knew said they were forced to limit their interactions with patients since supplies were being bought in excess by the general population. And what about all the toilet paper? I’ve had a bad meal, but I never felt I would run that short that I needed to have the store manager deliver it to my car on a forklift! I guess I look at the big picture and think, somehow we managed to survive these challenges and with a little planning we can take what we need, leave plenty for others, and feel less stressed since this isn’t our first rodeo. My wife then pointed out to me how men and women think completely differently, and I thought, “Perhaps that explains the panic buying.” She pointed out, “Many women worry about the “what if’s,” while men say, “I’ll worry about it when it’s on fire.” I thought she was on to something when the year after Hurricane Charley it looked like we might encounter the effects of another hurricane. Being the cool, calm, and collected husband I think I am, I suggested on the day she was shopping with her friend that they pick up the staple items needed in case we get impacted once again. Upon her return, I asked if she got everything only to have her tell me “Staples was running a sale on back-to-school merchandise and I was able to pick up all of our son’s school supplies.” I looked at her as if we were speaking two different languages and said, “Am I to assume if we get hit by the storm we’ll be eating Crayola crayons?” With a look only a wife could give, she replied, “What are you worried about, nothing’s going to happen?” Weren’t those the same words mentioned on the Titanic’s maiden voyage? I had to wonder if somehow during the night our roles were reversed! My years of preparedness training through Boy Scouts and as a former lifeguard suddenly were being called into question. I’m usually the one keeping things calm and now I feel like I’m riding in the back seat. Perhaps she was right. Maybe even with the little we needed, it will most likely be more than we need, and there will be plenty to go around for others.

I know it is often said, “One of the most difficult things to do in life is to wait when you feel like you need to do so much.” The other thing I’ve learned with each passing year is that “God always provides in one way or another, and we often don’t need as much as we think.” I guess I have to be thankful for a wife who felt there was little need for concern. I just hope I don’t have to hear the smoke detector go off for her to spring into action!

While no major storm or pandemic is anything to be taken lightly, we are sending our best wishes to all of you in the areas that could be impacted for your safety and care during this time. If there is a positive to be taken out of events such as we are possibly facing it is the closeness or bond in our community that seems to be strengthened during these times. Ask for help and know we are all here to help each other.

-Gary Cardillo

About The Gary Cardillo Group

Gary Cardillo, Realtor While most people would like to talk about themselves, Gary and Gail have always put their clients first, and their diverse backgrounds have provided their clients an unparalleled level of service and knowledge throughout the past years.
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