Wasn’t it just yesterday when we made our New Year’s Resolutions? I know I put them around here somewhere in my start to the New Year promise to myself. Is it me, or did someone misplace January? That seems to be missing as well; however, my calendar says it’s going to be Valentine’s Day in a few days. Is it possible for me to get a do-over?I don’t know about you, but I’m not doing well with those resolutions. It seems the days and weeks are passing by more quickly, and life is becoming like that preverbal snowball gaining more speed as it goes downhill. So one of my New Year’s resolutions was to slow that snowball down and take some time to enjoy the simple pleasures of life that I’ve been having a hard time permitting myself to do. Somehow along the way, I became like my dad, who always wanted to “take care of one more thing” before heading out for a fun family day.
Having lost several close friends since Thanksgiving, it has been a bit of a wake-up call and a bit of a nudge not to take life for granted and to give some thought into pursuing some of those resolutions sooner than later. To be honest, it has even made me look a bit more deeply into those resolutions and how they can be used to help the lives of others.I’m a firm believer that people are brought into your life to teach you life lessons. It could be struggles they overcame that have become a source of inspiration, while others have taught us not to take ourselves too seriously in a world where it seems division has become rampant. Two such people are Sidney Poitier and Betty White. Upon their recent passing, I was intrigued by the lives they led and how they seemed to touch the hearts of so many. Poitier had a certain refinement and broke many barriers in the entertainment world as a young black man from a very humble Bahamian childhood. While he rose to enjoy success garnering awards for his illustrious career as an actor, film director, and diplomat, his 2002 Honorary Academy Award recognizing his “remarkable accomplishments as an artist and human being” spoke volumes to me of a life well-lived.
Then you have Betty White, who has touched the hearts of so many with her sense of humor and ability to teach us not to take ourselves too seriously. She became more like that family member or confidant you knew you could trust through her many roles. To me, she was that little bit of sugar that gave us a respite from the negativity we are bombarded with each day.Then you have others that come into your life that touch you in ways you can’t put into words. To me, that person I’ll refer to as “Howard,” a client who became a good friend.
Howard and I shared almost nothing in common, and he had a strong opinion on everything. He could sound like Archie Bunker at times, other times just an old curmudgeon. Politically we couldn’t have been further apart, although he often said to me, “I can’t figure out what side of the aisle you’re on.” He hated phonies and often would say Realtors were like snake oil salesmen, but he always ended his comment with, “but I like you.” He started his day with his vodka and orange juice which he kept flowing throughout the day, yet kept up with the stock market and loved his sports and passion for sailing. I often would tease him that one day I was going to find he embalmed himself on his couch with a cocktail in hand, to which he would reply, “then you’ll have another house to sell.” However, despite living by himself with his cat and only having a few close friends, there was something about him I liked. Maybe it was our fun verbal sparring sessions or just his unabashed outlook on life, but somewhere under his crusty exterior was someone special. Over the years, he spoke of a few loves in his life, but mostly it was just a recounting of a simple life that seemed ordinary at best. However, it wasn’t until his recent passing that another life lesson was about to unfold. Unbeknownst to me, Howard had a passion for children with terminal illnesses and left most of his healthy financial portfolio to St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital. When I heard this news from one of his close friends, I thought to myself, “without any mention or desire for the recognition, he made a lasting impact on the life of others.” I was stunned by this man’s passion for something he never spoke about.
I started to reevaluate my New Year’s resolutions and thought there is always more we can do just by being ourselves as much as we give. Sure it is great to get into better shape, finish that book you started writing years ago, or take time to enjoy the simple pleasures life has to offer. Still, I’m learning there are many ways we can impact the lives of others as they have to me, even if it is just putting a smile on someone’s face who’s having a challenging day.As we approach Valentine’s Day, I think it isn’t only a day to share your love with that special someone in your life, but a day when you can let others know how much they mean to you as well.
-Gary Cardillo
Through these friendships, we’ve been all over the world from Singapore and Vietnam to Europe and South America. We traveled through the back roads of our great country and journeyed the Intracoastal from Florida to New England. We’ve met politicians and have been to some of the most dangerous locations in the middle-east. “How did you get to do all of this in such a short life span you may ask?” While I’ve experienced some very special places when traveling through our country, unfortunately the closest I’ve gotten to Europe was a road trip to Massachusetts. Sarah Palin may have claimed to see Russia from her home in Alaska, but through the intimate stories told by clients who became close friends we feel as if we experienced these real-life stories and adventures, many of which we hope to take ourselves someday.
Everyone has a story or knows of someone who has a storied background, but when you have the opportunity to spend as much time with clients as we do, their histories come to life in a way that makes you feel as if you went through a time with them. I remember one client who had been in the largest naval battle to this day. He was on a 500 ft. aircraft carrier in the Philippines and to listen to his story of the incoming fire they took, you couldn’t help but feel you were right alongside him. Other clients spoke of Communist regimes they escaped and how their families lost everything they had to come to our country. Others have been in the entertainment industry, some have been writers and still, others have created products that are widely used today. There have been CEOs and those that rose from poverty to creating highly successful businesses, going on to mentor others so they could have an opportunity to better themselves. We’ve also heard countless stories from physicians, who without fanfare traveled abroad to many third world countries administering to those in need, and did I mention a Grammy award-winning Pastor whose lives he continues to touch each day? For those of you whose stories have appeared in our newsletters you know who you are, and how your stories have had such an impact on my life, as have so many others.
We live in a time where the media is focused more than ever on negative news and the things that divide us, not the common ground that can bring us together. When I see thousands of people turn out in mass to simply watch the lighting of a Christmas Tree or eight Clydesdale horses pulling a wagon through the streets of our downtown with two men and a Dalmatian sitting alongside them, I think to myself, “aren’t these the timeless pleasures we seem to embrace, and innately desire to enjoy?”
Thanksgiving to me has always been the start of the holiday season. It’s a time where people seem to be a bit more appreciative of the things they’ve received and a desire to share those blessings with others. While we typically think of family and friends sitting around a large dining table decorated in a harvest motif, adorned with a variety of homemade dishes and a succulent roast turkey, I find in recent years my sentiments have turned more to ways we can share our abundance with others less fortunate. However, my thoughts this Thanksgiving season were inspired by a story I recently heard at church from a very special lady whose mission trip years ago to Nicaragua exemplified the true meaning of gratitude that will impact me for the rest of my life.
Gwen initially moved to Punta Gorda to care for her elderly mother who was suffering from age-related dementia, but needing to work, she added, “no one gets rich being a nun for 30 years,” she applied to Sacred Heart Church. Pastor, Jerome “Jerry” Kaywell recognized Gwen’s talents immediately and hired her to be his Pastoral Associate. Technically her role is defined as meeting the pastoral needs of the people of the parish however, to those who know her contributions her handprint can be found in almost every corner of the church. Gwen reflects, “Giving was a family thing. My Mom was very attentive to the needs around her and she seated the responsibility to help others deep in our hearts from my earliest memories. She would often adopt a project and we were always a part of the service.” She recalls one of the most “powerful” examples was when her mom “adopted” a man who lived a few miles from them. The man wasn’t related to them and didn’t have family to take care of him. Gwen’s mother decided that once a month they would bring him food she had frozen from what she made the family the month before. Then on a Saturday every month for years, they would clean his house, tidy his yard, plant flowers, and bring in wood, as he heated his home with only a wood stove. This care for others leads us to the inspiring story Gwen shared with the congregation that touched the lives of everyone present.
Looking back during the time she served as Principal of Seton Catholic High School in Plattsburgh, Gwen said for several years she had been involved with a group called “Mission of Hope.” Created as a result of a mission trip to Nicaragua that was inspired by one family from Nicaragua who attended the school to help their family back in their homeland recover from the mudslides from a devastating hurricane, this non-profit took on a “life of its own.” Today, Gwen adds, “it serves the people of Nicaragua in a multitude of ways from hospitals to eldercare, food to clinics and education to hope.” However, it was that trip to Nicaragua that left a lasting impression.
Gwen recalls, “Several times I was tasked with bringing a bag of rice and a bag of beans to the homeless families living in the woods. It was perhaps enough to feed a family of 5 for a week if they had light appetites.” She continued, “We would travel along the dirt road, and wherever there was a worn footpath into the woods, we would walk in and bring our simple treasures to these families. It never ceased to amaze me that before we were even back to the road, we would hear the people calling for other families who were deeper in the woods to come. They were not calling them to come to us to get rice and beans for themselves, but instead, they were calling them to come and share in the bounty they had received.” If this isn’t touching enough, Gwen reflected on a day when she was leaving one of the homes having delivered the bags of rice and beans, when she heard a little girl of about 3 years of age calling out to her. “She was stark naked and dirty from head to toe, running down the path after me. With enormous brown eyes and a smile that overshadowed the filth, she handed me a wildflower, hugged my leg, and whispered, “Gracias, Santa dama.” Thank you, holy lady.” Gwen said, “I didn’t feel much like a holy lady. I had given her family perhaps a couple of days of food. She gave me all she had.”
Gwen’s story reminded me of the bible story of the “Widow’s offering,” found in the twelfth chapter of the book of Mark, verses 41-44. It tells how Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were placed and watched the crowd putting money into the temple treasury. “Many rich people threw in large amounts, but a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins worth only a few cents.” Jesus called his disciples to him and said, “Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth, but she, out of her poverty, put in everything; all she had to live on.”
As I reflected on Gwen’s closing thoughts, I couldn’t help but reflect on that little 3-year-old girl with the flower whose gesture of gratitude left a lasting impression on me. I had to ask myself if I was doing enough to make a difference in the lives of others, not just once a year, but throughout the year. I realized more than ever, how blessed I was and the best way to show my gratitude was to help others in their time of need. After all, isn’t that what Thanksgiving is all about?
Our 8-year-old Avra has decided to be Velma from Scooby-Doo. She was sold on this costume because she is obsessed with animals and getting to carry around a plush Scooby-Doo toy for the evening. She wishes to be a veterinarian one day. On the other hand, our 9-year-old Olivia chose to be an astronaut. This all stems from the recent Inspiration4 Mission. You see this cross-country move mentioned above was all in part of my husband landing his dream job at his dream company, SpaceX. He has been in the aerospace industry for over 14 years and when he was scouted out for a position to be the Lead Non-Destructive Testing Specialist for Composites in Los Angeles, we knew it was an opportunity he couldn’t let pass by.
With this new job, he had the honor of being part of the Inspiration 4 Mission recently launched by SpaceX. This mission completed the first orbital spaceflight with only private citizens aboard and was part of a charitable effort on behalf of St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital. Inspiration4 was led by Shift4 Payments CEO Jared Isaacman, an experienced pilot with a qualification in military jets. Isaacman procured the flight and its four seats from SpaceX and donated two of the seats to St. Jude. Hayley Arceneaux, a physician assistant at the hospital and a survivor of bone cancer, was selected by the hospital to board the flight. St. Jude raffled the second seat as part of a campaign to raise $200 million for the hospital. An undisclosed person from Embry–Riddle Aeronautical University ultimately won the raffle and decided for personal reasons to give the seat to his friend, U.S. Air Force veteran Christopher Sembroski, who was also one of 72,000 entrants in the raffle. Entrepreneur Sian Proctor was selected by Shift4 Payments to board the flight through a competition modeled after Shark Tank that rewarded the best business idea to make use of Shift4’s commerce solutions. Hayley at age 29, became the youngest American in space, and the first astronaut with prosthetic leg bones. Bringing this even closer to home, part of my husband’s job included the design/inspection of her special foot rest that she would specifically use on her journey.
We discussed the impact of this flight with our daughters and to see the light in their eyes as we counted down to lift off just put it all in perspective. When Halloween decision-making rolled around, Olivia said she wanted to be an astronaut like Hayley. At that moment, we felt so proud that hopefully this path was paved for young girls and space exploration.
Years passed and during that time Jim went through the ranks with the Secret Service starting as a Criminal Investigator, where he was moved through different squads for exceeding quotas of arrests and closed cases, and then to the “West African Task Force” where his responsibility was to thwart and arrest Soviet-backed Nigerians who were fraudulently obtaining birth certificates and drivers licenses to obtain numerous credit cards to buy and sell merchandise illegally. However, this is just the tip of Jim’s illustrious career. “Agent Napolitano” was selected to work on a task force that investigated “The Supernote”, a far superior counterfeit note being used by Middle East terrorist organizations such as Hamas, Hezbollah, and Al Qaida, and was successful in helping standing up the Supernote Task Force that was comprised of the U.S. Secret Service, CIA, and DEA. He was the 160th agent to ever become part of the elite Counter Assault Team under the Presidential Protection Division, which included “training with the Tier 1 Special Operations Forces”. He was a Rescue Swimmer for Presidents George H.W. Bush 41, George W. Bush 43, and Bill Clinton and their families. He was only 1 of 42 agents to be a member of both the C.A.T. and Rescue Swimmer Teams. He went on to be an instructor in Control Tactics and Rescue Swimming, further becoming manager in Water Safety and Emergency Medicine, among other courses he directed for Special Agents.
While most people would like to talk about themselves, Gary and Gail have always put their clients first, and their diverse backgrounds have provided their clients an unparalleled level of service and knowledge throughout the past years.