With St. Patrick’s Day upon us, it would be easy to get caught up in the festivity associated with a day where we all consider ourselves Irish regardless of our heritage. However, with the tragedy unfolding in Ukraine, I would be remiss not to share the life lesson it means to me.For several years in writing these newsletters, I’ve reflected many times on my extraordinary childhood and the memories I’ve held dear to this day. I think of my diverse group of friends where the color we talked about was in our box of crayons, not the color of our skin. You were Italian if your last name ended in an “a,” an “i,” or an “o,” and if your hair was red, you were Irish for sure. We celebrated the things we had in common and laughed at our differences for the most part. While our parents bore the scars from a tough early life, they rarely talked about those times and often told us their goal was to give us a better life than theirs.
As I’ve grown older, I’ve also mentioned that I’ve become increasingly fascinated and more appreciative of those who fought so hard to give us the freedoms we enjoy today. Through countless articles and documentaries, I’ve tried to envision what it must have been like to be in the heat of the battle and the unquestionable sacrifice and bravery it took to leave loved ones behind and answer the call to serve their country. However, as much as I tried to grasp the intimacy of that experience, once I closed the book or came to the end of that documentary, I was safely home again, and my only scar was the bad dream I had just experienced.Maybe it is because most of my generation didn’t have to fight a war, and unwittingly we’ve passed a certain naiveté and complacency down to the next generation. We don’t hear about sacrifice but more about entitlement. We don’t celebrate our similarities but focus on our differences. The teams we picked in dodgeball are far different from those we choose today, where color, political beliefs, and “my way is better than yours” are the deciding factors.
I’m amazed at how fast our world seems to be spinning out of control, and the values we held so dear have been tossed aside as antiquated thinking and no longer relevant. I’ve often prayed that God would get us back on track with some wake-up call before it is too late, and perhaps he finally has gotten our attention.Those close to me know I start each day reading my devotionals and reference those readings with stories in the Bible. I find it amazing the stories in those pages I’ve been reading for decades appear to be playing out in front of us today. Sacrifice, persecution, bravery, and love of fellow man are on full display. It is as if we’ve been thrust back in time when those were qualities to be admired rather than avoided and taken for granted.
The tragedy we are seeing unfold in Ukraine is not much different than the story of David and Goliath. Who would ever think a comedian named Volodymyr Zelenskyy could rally his country and harness that resolve into a national battle cry. He sounds more like a character out of a Harry Potter novel, yet this unlikely hero is fighting alongside his fellow citizens against this mighty foe. And who would have thought countries throughout the world would be inspired to set aside their differences and rally around this outclassed nation of people whose only desire is to live in peace?I’ve often said, “Men make plans, and God laughs,” and in an extraordinary way, God not only has a sense of humor in choosing the person he has but a plan no one could have expected. Sound familiar? Anyone who has played a team sport knows you leave your differences in a locker room, but you go out on the field as one. Is this our wake-up call and our last opportunity to come together as a nation ourselves? Is this our opportunity to resolve our differences instead of being so galvanized in our opinion and thought? I hope the tragedy unfolding in Ukraine will make us better as individuals and stronger as a nation before the lesson must be learned again. We have so much to be grateful for, and I hope that we not only rekindle what we have taken for granted for so long, but we can be an inspiration to others as the people of Ukraine and their president have been to the world.
We know many deserving charities are in dire need; however, at this time, the people of Ukraine desperately need our support. Listed are some of the organizations supporting their plight.
BStrong– Bstrong’s mandate is getting refugees out and aid into Ukraine #refugeesoutaidin Bstrong and Global Empowerment Mission have established a Welcome Center in Medyka, Poland/Ukraine border.
Expansion into Hungary & Romania: Your donation is scaling outside of Poland to partners in two other Ukrainian border countries to provide aid.
Airbnb.org Sign up to provide temporary housing for Ukrainian refugees or donate to their stays.
Care.org The international humanitarian group is providing food, water and other items to families fleeing violence in Ukraine.
Project Hope The global health and humanitarian relief organization is on the ground in and around Ukraine delivering medicines and medical supplies. It has teams in Ukraine, Poland, Moldova and Romania.
-Gary Cardillo
Wasn’t it just yesterday when we made our New Year’s Resolutions? I know I put them around here somewhere in my start to the New Year promise to myself. Is it me, or did someone misplace January? That seems to be missing as well; however, my calendar says it’s going to be Valentine’s Day in a few days. Is it possible for me to get a do-over?
Having lost several close friends since Thanksgiving, it has been a bit of a wake-up call and a bit of a nudge not to take life for granted and to give some thought into pursuing some of those resolutions sooner than later. To be honest, it has even made me look a bit more deeply into those resolutions and how they can be used to help the lives of others.
Then you have Betty White, who has touched the hearts of so many with her sense of humor and ability to teach us not to take ourselves too seriously. She became more like that family member or confidant you knew you could trust through her many roles. To me, she was that little bit of sugar that gave us a respite from the negativity we are bombarded with each day.
Howard and I shared almost nothing in common, and he had a strong opinion on everything. He could sound like Archie Bunker at times, other times just an old curmudgeon. Politically we couldn’t have been further apart, although he often said to me, “I can’t figure out what side of the aisle you’re on.” He hated phonies and often would say Realtors were like snake oil salesmen, but he always ended his comment with, “but I like you.” He started his day with his vodka and orange juice which he kept flowing throughout the day, yet kept up with the stock market and loved his sports and passion for sailing. I often would tease him that one day I was going to find he embalmed himself on his couch with a cocktail in hand, to which he would reply, “then you’ll have another house to sell.” However, despite living by himself with his cat and only having a few close friends, there was something about him I liked. Maybe it was our fun verbal sparring sessions or just his unabashed outlook on life, but somewhere under his crusty exterior was someone special. Over the years, he spoke of a few loves in his life, but mostly it was just a recounting of a simple life that seemed ordinary at best. However, it wasn’t until his recent passing that another life lesson was about to unfold. Unbeknownst to me, Howard had a passion for children with terminal illnesses and left most of his healthy financial portfolio to St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital. When I heard this news from one of his close friends, I thought to myself, “without any mention or desire for the recognition, he made a lasting impact on the life of others.” I was stunned by this man’s passion for something he never spoke about.
I started to reevaluate my New Year’s resolutions and thought there is always more we can do just by being ourselves as much as we give. Sure it is great to get into better shape, finish that book you started writing years ago, or take time to enjoy the simple pleasures life has to offer. Still, I’m learning there are many ways we can impact the lives of others as they have to me, even if it is just putting a smile on someone’s face who’s having a challenging day.
Through these friendships, we’ve been all over the world from Singapore and Vietnam to Europe and South America. We traveled through the back roads of our great country and journeyed the Intracoastal from Florida to New England. We’ve met politicians and have been to some of the most dangerous locations in the middle-east. “How did you get to do all of this in such a short life span you may ask?” While I’ve experienced some very special places when traveling through our country, unfortunately the closest I’ve gotten to Europe was a road trip to Massachusetts. Sarah Palin may have claimed to see Russia from her home in Alaska, but through the intimate stories told by clients who became close friends we feel as if we experienced these real-life stories and adventures, many of which we hope to take ourselves someday.
Everyone has a story or knows of someone who has a storied background, but when you have the opportunity to spend as much time with clients as we do, their histories come to life in a way that makes you feel as if you went through a time with them. I remember one client who had been in the largest naval battle to this day. He was on a 500 ft. aircraft carrier in the Philippines and to listen to his story of the incoming fire they took, you couldn’t help but feel you were right alongside him. Other clients spoke of Communist regimes they escaped and how their families lost everything they had to come to our country. Others have been in the entertainment industry, some have been writers and still, others have created products that are widely used today. There have been CEOs and those that rose from poverty to creating highly successful businesses, going on to mentor others so they could have an opportunity to better themselves. We’ve also heard countless stories from physicians, who without fanfare traveled abroad to many third world countries administering to those in need, and did I mention a Grammy award-winning Pastor whose lives he continues to touch each day? For those of you whose stories have appeared in our newsletters you know who you are, and how your stories have had such an impact on my life, as have so many others.
We live in a time where the media is focused more than ever on negative news and the things that divide us, not the common ground that can bring us together. When I see thousands of people turn out in mass to simply watch the lighting of a Christmas Tree or eight Clydesdale horses pulling a wagon through the streets of our downtown with two men and a Dalmatian sitting alongside them, I think to myself, “aren’t these the timeless pleasures we seem to embrace, and innately desire to enjoy?”
Thanksgiving to me has always been the start of the holiday season. It’s a time where people seem to be a bit more appreciative of the things they’ve received and a desire to share those blessings with others. While we typically think of family and friends sitting around a large dining table decorated in a harvest motif, adorned with a variety of homemade dishes and a succulent roast turkey, I find in recent years my sentiments have turned more to ways we can share our abundance with others less fortunate. However, my thoughts this Thanksgiving season were inspired by a story I recently heard at church from a very special lady whose mission trip years ago to Nicaragua exemplified the true meaning of gratitude that will impact me for the rest of my life.
Gwen initially moved to Punta Gorda to care for her elderly mother who was suffering from age-related dementia, but needing to work, she added, “no one gets rich being a nun for 30 years,” she applied to Sacred Heart Church. Pastor, Jerome “Jerry” Kaywell recognized Gwen’s talents immediately and hired her to be his Pastoral Associate. Technically her role is defined as meeting the pastoral needs of the people of the parish however, to those who know her contributions her handprint can be found in almost every corner of the church. Gwen reflects, “Giving was a family thing. My Mom was very attentive to the needs around her and she seated the responsibility to help others deep in our hearts from my earliest memories. She would often adopt a project and we were always a part of the service.” She recalls one of the most “powerful” examples was when her mom “adopted” a man who lived a few miles from them. The man wasn’t related to them and didn’t have family to take care of him. Gwen’s mother decided that once a month they would bring him food she had frozen from what she made the family the month before. Then on a Saturday every month for years, they would clean his house, tidy his yard, plant flowers, and bring in wood, as he heated his home with only a wood stove. This care for others leads us to the inspiring story Gwen shared with the congregation that touched the lives of everyone present.
Looking back during the time she served as Principal of Seton Catholic High School in Plattsburgh, Gwen said for several years she had been involved with a group called “Mission of Hope.” Created as a result of a mission trip to Nicaragua that was inspired by one family from Nicaragua who attended the school to help their family back in their homeland recover from the mudslides from a devastating hurricane, this non-profit took on a “life of its own.” Today, Gwen adds, “it serves the people of Nicaragua in a multitude of ways from hospitals to eldercare, food to clinics and education to hope.” However, it was that trip to Nicaragua that left a lasting impression.
Gwen recalls, “Several times I was tasked with bringing a bag of rice and a bag of beans to the homeless families living in the woods. It was perhaps enough to feed a family of 5 for a week if they had light appetites.” She continued, “We would travel along the dirt road, and wherever there was a worn footpath into the woods, we would walk in and bring our simple treasures to these families. It never ceased to amaze me that before we were even back to the road, we would hear the people calling for other families who were deeper in the woods to come. They were not calling them to come to us to get rice and beans for themselves, but instead, they were calling them to come and share in the bounty they had received.” If this isn’t touching enough, Gwen reflected on a day when she was leaving one of the homes having delivered the bags of rice and beans, when she heard a little girl of about 3 years of age calling out to her. “She was stark naked and dirty from head to toe, running down the path after me. With enormous brown eyes and a smile that overshadowed the filth, she handed me a wildflower, hugged my leg, and whispered, “Gracias, Santa dama.” Thank you, holy lady.” Gwen said, “I didn’t feel much like a holy lady. I had given her family perhaps a couple of days of food. She gave me all she had.”
Gwen’s story reminded me of the bible story of the “Widow’s offering,” found in the twelfth chapter of the book of Mark, verses 41-44. It tells how Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were placed and watched the crowd putting money into the temple treasury. “Many rich people threw in large amounts, but a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins worth only a few cents.” Jesus called his disciples to him and said, “Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth, but she, out of her poverty, put in everything; all she had to live on.”
As I reflected on Gwen’s closing thoughts, I couldn’t help but reflect on that little 3-year-old girl with the flower whose gesture of gratitude left a lasting impression on me. I had to ask myself if I was doing enough to make a difference in the lives of others, not just once a year, but throughout the year. I realized more than ever, how blessed I was and the best way to show my gratitude was to help others in their time of need. After all, isn’t that what Thanksgiving is all about?
Our 8-year-old Avra has decided to be Velma from Scooby-Doo. She was sold on this costume because she is obsessed with animals and getting to carry around a plush Scooby-Doo toy for the evening. She wishes to be a veterinarian one day. On the other hand, our 9-year-old Olivia chose to be an astronaut. This all stems from the recent Inspiration4 Mission. You see this cross-country move mentioned above was all in part of my husband landing his dream job at his dream company, SpaceX. He has been in the aerospace industry for over 14 years and when he was scouted out for a position to be the Lead Non-Destructive Testing Specialist for Composites in Los Angeles, we knew it was an opportunity he couldn’t let pass by.
With this new job, he had the honor of being part of the Inspiration 4 Mission recently launched by SpaceX. This mission completed the first orbital spaceflight with only private citizens aboard and was part of a charitable effort on behalf of St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital. Inspiration4 was led by Shift4 Payments CEO Jared Isaacman, an experienced pilot with a qualification in military jets. Isaacman procured the flight and its four seats from SpaceX and donated two of the seats to St. Jude. Hayley Arceneaux, a physician assistant at the hospital and a survivor of bone cancer, was selected by the hospital to board the flight. St. Jude raffled the second seat as part of a campaign to raise $200 million for the hospital. An undisclosed person from Embry–Riddle Aeronautical University ultimately won the raffle and decided for personal reasons to give the seat to his friend, U.S. Air Force veteran Christopher Sembroski, who was also one of 72,000 entrants in the raffle. Entrepreneur Sian Proctor was selected by Shift4 Payments to board the flight through a competition modeled after Shark Tank that rewarded the best business idea to make use of Shift4’s commerce solutions. Hayley at age 29, became the youngest American in space, and the first astronaut with prosthetic leg bones. Bringing this even closer to home, part of my husband’s job included the design/inspection of her special foot rest that she would specifically use on her journey.
We discussed the impact of this flight with our daughters and to see the light in their eyes as we counted down to lift off just put it all in perspective. When Halloween decision-making rolled around, Olivia said she wanted to be an astronaut like Hayley. At that moment, we felt so proud that hopefully this path was paved for young girls and space exploration.
While most people would like to talk about themselves, Gary and Gail have always put their clients first, and their diverse backgrounds have provided their clients an unparalleled level of service and knowledge throughout the past years.