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All Gave Some, Some Gave All

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Some people can visit a cemetery and feel a special bond with loved ones who have passed. Others are terrified at the thought and equate it with the ghoulish night of Halloween, where evil spirits lurk. Then there are others who have turned the page and don’t see any point in visiting loved ones or friends who are no longer with them.
While visiting cemeteries is not something I frequently make a point of doing, when paying my respects to friends or family members I feel I have stepped into a history book of stories and intrigue most books can seldom capture. I feel that certain intimacy in one such cemetery, “Our Lady of the Isle Cemetery,” located on Shelter Island, N.Y. Few places have given me an inner peace than this small cemetery has to offer. Driving up the narrow tree-lined road, you come to an opening in the woods where stories of inventors, political figures, family members, friends, and veterans abound. Many I have known, primarily through my mom and dad, who lie there and are part of that unique history. I have stayed there for hours and relived childhood memories second to none and the people that made it so special. However, when visiting a cemetery of this size, you feel an intimacy or bond with those you have loved, particularly with those who have served.
One of the most memorable walks I’ve taken there has been on Veteran’s Day or Memorial Day, where small flags adorn the entire cemetery like a carpet of spring flowers, commemorating the service of our fallen or deceased veterans. It is inspiring to see just how many people who have had some connection to this quaint island have sacrificed so much for the freedoms we enjoy today. There are World War I and II veterans, those who fought in the Korean and Vietnam wars, and even a dear friend of ours whose son was disarming bombs in Afghanistan ahead of his platoon when he stepped on an IED and sacrificed his life to save the 20 members of his team. We all have stories like this of people we know who “gave all” for their country, and then we have others who “gave all” differently.
One of my first interviewees was Punta Gorda’s first female mayor, Marilyn Smith-Mooney. Formally from Long Island, New York, Marilyn lived a life of accomplishments that would have spanned at least two lifetimes. The first half of her life was in the private sector, focused primarily on architecture, interior design, and ownership and management of a commercial construction corporation. The latter half of her life centered around executive management team positions in human resources and corporate development. She was a pilot and an Amelia Earhart award recipient. She was a graduate of the Advanced Institute for Elected Municipal Officials, Leadership Charlotte, and Local Government Leadership Florida. For eight years, Marilyn served as executive director and vice-chair of the Tetrault Family Foundation. This private non-profit provided $30 million in funding and development of the 27-acre Peace River Botanical & Sculpture Gardens, where breathtaking sculptures from artists worldwide are displayed among specimen floral fauna from the area.
She also obtained her Florida Supreme Court certification as a county mediator, which only scratches the surface of this talented woman’s accomplishments and awards. In 2017 Marilyn was honored with the award from the Punta Gorda Rotary for “Service Above Self,” acknowledging her work for so many non-profits and individuals “needing a caring heart.” However, one award Marilyn was most proud of was being the first recipient of the “Distinguished Civilian Award” from the Military Heritage Museum, which she received in August 2021.
As long as I knew Marilyn, she always had a special place in her heart for the military and those who served our country, and she wanted that history preserved for generations to come. She joined the Military Heritage Museum Board and became its president in 2007, holding the position for more than five years. She stayed on as a board member feeling “new blood, energy and ideas” were needed from leadership, but once again was recruited to serve as its president. Today the Military Heritage Museum is one of the most unique and awe-inspiring tributes to those who played such an essential role in preserving our country’s rich history.
Like many small towns throughout our country, there is a special bond and gratitude you feel when seeing someone who has served their country. Punta Gorda has that bond through the Military Heritage Museum, and the Veteran’s Memorial Wall found in Veteran’s Park within the city. With Memorial Day upon us, most associate it with the start of summer and the activities we’ve waited to enjoy all winter; however, as I’ve grown older, I’ve come to appreciate the service those have made to give us the freedom we have today. There is a military saying I came across, “All gave some, some gave all,” and while that may imply those that haven’t fought in wars “gave some,” Marilyn Smith-Mooney is a perfect example of someone who may not have marched off to war, but to me, she “gave all.” Thankfully, I’m fortunate to have had the opportunity to thank her for her “service” before she passed shortly after receiving her Distinguished Civilian Award from the Military Heritage Museum.
We send our best wishes to all for a happy, healthy, and memorable Memorial Day. To our Veterans, we thank you for your service.
-Gary Cardillo

Easter, Where Hope Springs Eternal

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If I had to summarize my outlook on life, I would have to say Alexander Pope’s “An Essay On Man” depicted it best when he wrote, “Hope springs eternal in the human breast.” Various interpretations characterize his words: “People will always be optimistic and think something better is coming.” That certainly describes me!

I’ve often thought, “Is it the child in me who wants to see life through rose-colored glasses, or is it my desire to see the best in people and what life offers?” I sense I’m not the only one as I find many who I meet are on the same path as me, looking for those little nuggets along our life’s journey that bring us joy. When you think about it, every month of the year has that little “treat” we refer to as a holiday we celebrate with great anticipation. However, when you look into the history of many of these holidays, their origins are vastly different than how we celebrate them today. We have molded them into a day that makes us feel good and gives us that renewed “optimism.” Think about it. January starts our new year, a clean slate, if you will. Some people look at it as a start of a better year than the previous one. New resolutions are made, and who cares if they are broken a few weeks later, we feel like we got a fresh start. February brings us Valentine’s Day, and who would think we somehow could turn a day honoring 2 Christian martyrs into a romantic day for lovers. March amazes me as St. Patrick would never have deemed people from all walks of life and races would claim their Irish heritage and celebrate it until all hours of the night. Somewhere along the way, the fact that it was to celebrate the arrival of Christianity into Ireland got lost between the corned beef, Irish soda bread, and another round of beer. May brings us spring flowers, Cinco de Mayo, and a day to honor our Mothers. While I understood the significance of Mother’s Day and spring flowers, can someone explain how a kid from New York interprets a day when Mexico celebrates its victory over the French Empire in The Battle of Puebla, known as Cinco de Mayo,” as one he should commemerate as well? June was one of my favorite months as it was not only the month of my birthday but Father’s Day and the start of another great summer. Soon to follow was the 4th of July, and all we could think of were those great summertime barbeques and firework displays and not so much as those who gave of themselves fighting for our independence. While August didn’t have any particular holiday we looked forward to, it was the last month of a summer that was in full swing. Then came Labor Day, and once again, we somehow interpreted this day that originated as an observance of the labor unions contributions to the U.S. economy, as almost a weekend of rest and one final celebration before heading back to the drudgery of another school year. If you were like me, I bet you couldn’t wait for Halloween to arrive, and whoever would have thought we could have turned a day of observance for the deceased, martyrs, and saints into a night of ghoulish activities, costumes, and shopping bags full of candy! November brought Thanksgiving, which not only was the beginning of the holiday season but seemed to make us a bit more appreciative of the things for which to be grateful. There was a desire to savor the day in the company of family and friends, and it was perhaps one of the few holidays that genuinely made us reflect on the significance of that day. Then came Christmas for those of the Christian faith, and like most kids, it was a day we looked forward to since the end of summer. While it was supposed to signify the birth of Jesus Christ and God’s plan to bring salvation to the world, somehow, our focus was more about the gifts we showered on each other, and the Christ child in a manger got hidden behind that new bicycle and the mountain of toys.

I bet you think I forgot about April, didn’t you? For many, it represents the month that “God giveth and the taxman taketh away.” Perhaps Easter is God’s way of helping us endure that pain; however, Easter represents much more to me. The beginning of spring was starting to bloom. The air seemed fresher, and everything seemed to come back to life. As a child, my early recollections were of an Easter Bunny delivering a brightly colored basket full of jelly beans, a chocolate cross and rabbit, and a stuffed baby duckling, all nestled on a bed of colored cellophane grass. But, of course, no Easter would be complete without the dying of eggs and the Easter egg hunt that soon followed. As I got older, I thought, what sense did all of this make. Easter is supposed to be a celebration of the risen Christ and the hope of many for eternal life, and somehow we have a rabbit delivering colored eggs and candy. Did someone tell the rabbit he walked onto the wrong movie set?

I was relieved to find, according to Time, this “egg-laying hare” stems from a pagan tradition known as the Festival of Eostre, which honored the goddess of fertility and spring. It is said the goddess’s animal symbol was the rabbit, which stood for high fertility and reproduction rates. If you live in my community you will see first-hand the rabbits have successfully continued this time-honored tradition! However, in the 1700’s, German Immigrants coming to Pennsylvania brought this tradition of “Osterhase” or “Oschter Haws,” an egg-laying hare that would lay colorful eggs and give them to good children. I can’t tell you my relief as I must have been one of the good ones, or of mistaken identity, as I always awakened to a big Easter basket full of every sugar-filled treat known to man!

So what does Easter mean to me? Unlike most holidays steep in tradition, I always felt it was the start of something extraordinary inside me and the world around me. Everything seemed new and fresh; it was almost as if life was just beginning. As I’ve grown older, it has taken on a different perspective as chocolate bunnies and colored eggs have given way to more of a reflective period. Easter has almost become a better time to make those resolutions in bettering ourselves and sharing our gifts with others. I’ve often wondered if we make our New Year’s resolutions at the beginning of each year as something genuinely positive to look forward to, or is it our feeble attempt to distract us from the suffering of those long, harsh winters? After all, how many of those good intentions become just that after only a few short weeks? Yes, guilty as charged! For those who share the Christian faith, Christ’s death and resurrection was that opportunity to bury the old negative thoughts and way of life in exchange for a better, more rewarding eternal life. One in which we could find total enjoyment in the simple pleasures life had to offer without trying to create distractions to get us through each day. This is, to me, the actual “Hope Eternal,” as Easter has brought me a renewed appreciation for the things I have, the friends that surround me, and the hope of a better world to come.
My hope is this Easter season brings the same joy to you.
-Gary Cardillo

Lessons Learned As We Relive History

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With St. Patrick’s Day upon us, it would be easy to get caught up in the festivity associated with a day where we all consider ourselves Irish regardless of our heritage. However, with the tragedy unfolding in Ukraine, I would be remiss not to share the life lesson it means to me.
For several years in writing these newsletters, I’ve reflected many times on my extraordinary childhood and the memories I’ve held dear to this day. I think of my diverse group of friends where the color we talked about was in our box of crayons, not the color of our skin. You were Italian if your last name ended in an “a,” an “i,” or an “o,” and if your hair was red, you were Irish for sure. We celebrated the things we had in common and laughed at our differences for the most part. While our parents bore the scars from a tough early life, they rarely talked about those times and often told us their goal was to give us a better life than theirs.
As I’ve grown older, I’ve also mentioned that I’ve become increasingly fascinated and more appreciative of those who fought so hard to give us the freedoms we enjoy today. Through countless articles and documentaries, I’ve tried to envision what it must have been like to be in the heat of the battle and the unquestionable sacrifice and bravery it took to leave loved ones behind and answer the call to serve their country. However, as much as I tried to grasp the intimacy of that experience, once I closed the book or came to the end of that documentary, I was safely home again, and my only scar was the bad dream I had just experienced.
Maybe it is because most of my generation didn’t have to fight a war, and unwittingly we’ve passed a certain naiveté and complacency down to the next generation. We don’t hear about sacrifice but more about entitlement. We don’t celebrate our similarities but focus on our differences. The teams we picked in dodgeball are far different from those we choose today, where color, political beliefs, and “my way is better than yours” are the deciding factors.
I’m amazed at how fast our world seems to be spinning out of control, and the values we held so dear have been tossed aside as antiquated thinking and no longer relevant. I’ve often prayed that God would get us back on track with some wake-up call before it is too late, and perhaps he finally has gotten our attention.
Those close to me know I start each day reading my devotionals and reference those readings with stories in the Bible. I find it amazing the stories in those pages I’ve been reading for decades appear to be playing out in front of us today. Sacrifice, persecution, bravery, and love of fellow man are on full display. It is as if we’ve been thrust back in time when those were qualities to be admired rather than avoided and taken for granted.
The tragedy we are seeing unfold in Ukraine is not much different than the story of David and Goliath. Who would ever think a comedian named Volodymyr Zelenskyy could rally his country and harness that resolve into a national battle cry. He sounds more like a character out of a Harry Potter novel, yet this unlikely hero is fighting alongside his fellow citizens against this mighty foe. And who would have thought countries throughout the world would be inspired to set aside their differences and rally around this outclassed nation of people whose only desire is to live in peace?
I’ve often said, “Men make plans, and God laughs,” and in an extraordinary way, God not only has a sense of humor in choosing the person he has but a plan no one could have expected. Sound familiar? Anyone who has played a team sport knows you leave your differences in a locker room, but you go out on the field as one. Is this our wake-up call and our last opportunity to come together as a nation ourselves? Is this our opportunity to resolve our differences instead of being so galvanized in our opinion and thought? I hope the tragedy unfolding in Ukraine will make us better as individuals and stronger as a nation before the lesson must be learned again. We have so much to be grateful for, and I hope that we not only rekindle what we have taken for granted for so long, but we can be an inspiration to others as the people of Ukraine and their president have been to the world.
We know many deserving charities are in dire need; however, at this time, the people of Ukraine desperately need our support. Listed are some of the organizations supporting their plight.
BStrong– Bstrong’s mandate is getting refugees out and aid into Ukraine #refugeesoutaidin Bstrong and Global Empowerment Mission have established a Welcome Center in Medyka, Poland/Ukraine border.
Expansion into Hungary & Romania: Your donation is scaling outside of Poland to partners in two other Ukrainian border countries to provide aid.
Airbnb.org Sign up to provide temporary housing for Ukrainian refugees or donate to their stays.
Care.org The international humanitarian group is providing food, water and other items to families fleeing violence in Ukraine.
Project Hope The global health and humanitarian relief organization is on the ground in and around Ukraine delivering medicines and medical supplies. It has teams in Ukraine, Poland, Moldova and Romania.
-Gary Cardillo

True Confessions and a Life Well Lived

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Wasn’t it just yesterday when we made our New Year’s Resolutions? I know I put them around here somewhere in my start to the New Year promise to myself. Is it me, or did someone misplace January? That seems to be missing as well; however, my calendar says it’s going to be Valentine’s Day in a few days. Is it possible for me to get a do-over?
I don’t know about you, but I’m not doing well with those resolutions. It seems the days and weeks are passing by more quickly, and life is becoming like that preverbal snowball gaining more speed as it goes downhill. So one of my New Year’s resolutions was to slow that snowball down and take some time to enjoy the simple pleasures of life that I’ve been having a hard time permitting myself to do. Somehow along the way, I became like my dad, who always wanted to “take care of one more thing” before heading out for a fun family day.
Having lost several close friends since Thanksgiving, it has been a bit of a wake-up call and a bit of a nudge not to take life for granted and to give some thought into pursuing some of those resolutions sooner than later. To be honest, it has even made me look a bit more deeply into those resolutions and how they can be used to help the lives of others.
I’m a firm believer that people are brought into your life to teach you life lessons. It could be struggles they overcame that have become a source of inspiration, while others have taught us not to take ourselves too seriously in a world where it seems division has become rampant. Two such people are Sidney Poitier and Betty White. Upon their recent passing, I was intrigued by the lives they led and how they seemed to touch the hearts of so many. Poitier had a certain refinement and broke many barriers in the entertainment world as a young black man from a very humble Bahamian childhood. While he rose to enjoy success garnering awards for his illustrious career as an actor, film director, and diplomat, his 2002 Honorary Academy Award recognizing his “remarkable accomplishments as an artist and human being” spoke volumes to me of a life well-lived.

Then you have Betty White, who has touched the hearts of so many with her sense of humor and ability to teach us not to take ourselves too seriously. She became more like that family member or confidant you knew you could trust through her many roles. To me, she was that little bit of sugar that gave us a respite from the negativity we are bombarded with each day.
Then you have others that come into your life that touch you in ways you can’t put into words. To me, that person I’ll refer to as “Howard,” a client who became a good friend.
Howard and I shared almost nothing in common, and he had a strong opinion on everything. He could sound like Archie Bunker at times, other times just an old curmudgeon. Politically we couldn’t have been further apart, although he often said to me, “I can’t figure out what side of the aisle you’re on.” He hated phonies and often would say Realtors were like snake oil salesmen, but he always ended his comment with, “but I like you.” He started his day with his vodka and orange juice which he kept flowing throughout the day, yet kept up with the stock market and loved his sports and passion for sailing. I often would tease him that one day I was going to find he embalmed himself on his couch with a cocktail in hand, to which he would reply, “then you’ll have another house to sell.” However, despite living by himself with his cat and only having a few close friends, there was something about him I liked. Maybe it was our fun verbal sparring sessions or just his unabashed outlook on life, but somewhere under his crusty exterior was someone special. Over the years, he spoke of a few loves in his life, but mostly it was just a recounting of a simple life that seemed ordinary at best. However, it wasn’t until his recent passing that another life lesson was about to unfold. Unbeknownst to me, Howard had a passion for children with terminal illnesses and left most of his healthy financial portfolio to St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital. When I heard this news from one of his close friends, I thought to myself, “without any mention or desire for the recognition, he made a lasting impact on the life of others.” I was stunned by this man’s passion for something he never spoke about.
I started to reevaluate my New Year’s resolutions and thought there is always more we can do just by being ourselves as much as we give. Sure it is great to get into better shape, finish that book you started writing years ago, or take time to enjoy the simple pleasures life has to offer. Still, I’m learning there are many ways we can impact the lives of others as they have to me, even if it is just putting a smile on someone’s face who’s having a challenging day.
As we approach Valentine’s Day, I think it isn’t only a day to share your love with that special someone in your life, but a day when you can let others know how much they mean to you as well.
-Gary Cardillo

The Gift that Keeps on Giving

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Do you remember the line in National Lampoon’s movie Christmas Vacation, where Clark Griswold, played by Chevy Chase, was expecting his year-end bonus to build a swimming pool? Gathered around him in anticipation of his big bonus check arriving any moment was his entire family and of course his Cousin-in-Law, Eddie, who according to Clark said, “his heart was bigger than his brain.” When Clark opens up what he thinks is his Christmas bonus only to find out he is enrolled as a member in the “Jelly of the Month Club,” Eddie blurts out, “The gift that keeps on giving.” While this movie has become a Christmas tradition our family watches each year, Eddie’s line is one of the most quoted of all those we have collectively memorized and perhaps the one that has the most significant meaning to me.

Not that I have aspirations of joining the Jelly of the Month Club, but many times this year I have been asked, “How has business been…it must be a great time to be a Realtor?” While it has been a good year, this business is far from shooting fish in a barrel, as anyone who understands the real estate market can attest, it is characterized by peaks and valleys. However, after almost 18 years in the business, I can honestly say there is something much more rewarding than just listing or selling a property; it is the friendships we’ve made along the way. To me, that is the true “Gift that keeps on giving.”

Through these friendships, we’ve been all over the world from Singapore and Vietnam to Europe and South America. We traveled through the back roads of our great country and journeyed the Intracoastal from Florida to New England. We’ve met politicians and have been to some of the most dangerous locations in the middle-east. “How did you get to do all of this in such a short life span you may ask?” While I’ve experienced some very special places when traveling through our country, unfortunately the closest I’ve gotten to Europe was a road trip to Massachusetts. Sarah Palin may have claimed to see Russia from her home in Alaska, but through the intimate stories told by clients who became close friends we feel as if we experienced these real-life stories and adventures, many of which we hope to take ourselves someday.

Everyone has a story or knows of someone who has a storied background, but when you have the opportunity to spend as much time with clients as we do, their histories come to life in a way that makes you feel as if you went through a time with them. I remember one client who had been in the largest naval battle to this day. He was on a 500 ft. aircraft carrier in the Philippines and to listen to his story of the incoming fire they took, you couldn’t help but feel you were right alongside him. Other clients spoke of Communist regimes they escaped and how their families lost everything they had to come to our country. Others have been in the entertainment industry, some have been writers and still, others have created products that are widely used today. There have been CEOs and those that rose from poverty to creating highly successful businesses, going on to mentor others so they could have an opportunity to better themselves. We’ve also heard countless stories from physicians, who without fanfare traveled abroad to many third world countries administering to those in need, and did I mention a Grammy award-winning Pastor whose lives he continues to touch each day? For those of you whose stories have appeared in our newsletters you know who you are, and how your stories have had such an impact on my life, as have so many others.

Some people measure success by the sales teams they put together and the volume of business they claim they do, but we’ve learned there is something much more important to life that isn’t found in the profit and loss column.

We live in a time where the media is focused more than ever on negative news and the things that divide us, not the common ground that can bring us together. When I see thousands of people turn out in mass to simply watch the lighting of a Christmas Tree or eight Clydesdale horses pulling a wagon through the streets of our downtown with two men and a Dalmatian sitting alongside them, I think to myself, “aren’t these the timeless pleasures we seem to embrace, and innately desire to enjoy?”

Through our business the people we meet that become such good friends, are the “gift that keeps on giving,” and why we consider ourselves so blessed to be involved in such a wonderful business that gives us that opportunity every day. Thank you, for making every year so special to us, and for always reminding us, what is important in life; our relationship with each other.
We wish you and your family a wonderful Christmas, a very happy holiday season, and much good health and happiness this coming New Year.
-Gary & Gail Cardillo

About The Gary Cardillo Group

Gary Cardillo, Realtor While most people would like to talk about themselves, Gary and Gail have always put their clients first, and their diverse backgrounds have provided their clients an unparalleled level of service and knowledge throughout the past years.
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