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A Life Lesson in the True Meaning of Thanksgiving

November 26, 2019 by Gary Cardillo

Do you ever feel it is easier to express your feelings of gratitude when things are going your way? You received a good medical report. The job you were hoping for came to fruition. The item you were saving to buy just went on sale and what about the prayers that were answered when your team won? While it is easy to be appreciative when it seems everything we touch turns to gold, I’m amazed at how complacent we become when the blessings we receive are met with a sense of expectation and less about appreciation.
One person who through the years has shown me an attitude of gratitude is my very dear friend Donna Gill Cardenas. For those who don’t know Donna, she and her brother Dennis are the owners of Port Charlotte Florist, and in one way or another most likely you’ve either seen or received some of this special lady’s floral arrangements.
Donna grew up in Warwick, New York where her parents owned a garden center and farm. Donna said it was like a predecessor to Home Depot as they carried everything for your landscaping needs from mulch and landscape pavers for walkways and patios to plants and flowers. Donna said we also had every kind of animal you could think of, “you name it, we had it, and all five of us kids worked in the business.”
When she turned thirteen Donna’s father decided to move the family to Florida as the cold upstate New York winters were taking a physical toll on him and Florida looked like the perfect place to retire, a retirement that didn’t last very long. Her mom went to work for Charlotte County Clerk, Barbara Scott, while her dad bought a small flower shop. Being the entrepreneur he was, Donna’s dad expanded the business to five locations throughout Port Charlotte and Punta Gorda. While her three brothers owned and worked in their wholesale garden center, Donna worked for her dad. However, as the business grew her dad felt with perishable items such as flowers it would be more beneficial to consolidate everything into a centralized location. So in 1983 he built the store at 900 Tamiami Trail in Port Charlotte where the business operates today.
Donna’s oldest brother Bobby passed away at 36 and shortly thereafter the boys sold their wholesale nursery business. Her next oldest brother Mike continued in the nursery business while in 2007 Donna and her brother Dennis bought the floral shop from their parents. While Donna’s creative floral handprint can be seen on most of the major events throughout the area, not to mention the scores of weddings and other social events she has designed, I can tell you first hand, having been in this industry myself, this is not an easy business to run, especially when life presents you with lemons. People used to ask me, “This must be such a fun business to be in. You get to design and create a host of special events.” My reply was always, “If you only knew what went on behind the scenes to create these events you would wonder how we could still have a hair left on our heads.” If you know Donna, you know she makes a very difficult job look easy. She is the consummate problem solver who thinks quickly on her feet and who has that uncanny ability to turn someone’s tears into smiles in anticipation of their special day. It is this gift that has served her well through the challenges she’s faced personally and as a business owner.
In  2007, Donna met her husband Steve. At the time she was a foster parent having already adopted one child of her own however, once Steve became her husband Donna became an instant mother to five children. She joked, “No longer was I able to foster as we literally ran out of room!” She added with a smile, “I always wanted a large family and suddenly I had one. Steve’s kids meant the world to me and I was blessed beyond measure, taking my role as being a Mom very seriously.”
It is hard enough to grasp the challenge of balancing the needs of a large family and running a business at the same time however, few can appreciate the tremendous struggle one faces when they are trying to create a special day for someone while they themselves are working through a debilitating pain or illness. Unfortunately, this is exactly what happened to Donna. Having been misdiagnosed as having Trigeminal Neuralgia, an excruciating facial nerve pain, Donna underwent two brain surgeries in six years with no relief, only to be referred to Johns Hopkins hospital who then diagnosed her as having a severe case of TMJ that didn’t require brain surgery in the first place. It was around that time her son Dominic was diagnosed with Stage 4 Glioblastoma, a terminal brain cancer. For four years her son valiantly fought this illness, surpassing the average one and a half year lifespan for someone with this type of cancer however, in June, Dominic finally succumbed to his illness. Also during this time her husband Steve, was diagnosed with kidney cancer and just recently her four year old grandson was diagnosed with Leukemia.
When I asked, ” With wave after wave of debilitating challenges, how do you maintain such a positive attitude of gratitude? ” Donna replied by saying, “God always provides, but it was also lessons learned through Dominic that despite his poor prognosis. “ She said,  Dominic often stated that he didn’t want to be a burden to anyone and that given the choice to be either depressed and feel that life was unfair, or be an inspiration and uplift others, he would choose to be the latter .  Donna went on to say, ” God also has always provided family, friends and even strangers to help.”

Her business partner and brother, Dennis, was there to take care of things so she could care for Dominic. Her sister Mary, who also works with them, was a tremendous help as were the countless other family members and friends who were always willing to lend a hand. It was through their generosity that enabled Donna to be where she needed to be, caring for her son and family.However, it was years ago on a Mission trip to Ecuador that Donna was inspirationally touched by a man named Chavez. Donna said, “Here was a man who lost his entire family to a guerilla militant group and was surrounded by poverty, but he looked like he had a hanger stuck in his mouth as he had the widest smile I had ever seen.” Today she says, “Each day, during my thirty minute drive time to and back from work I use this time to think of Chavez who lost everything and think how fortunate I am.” 

Donna with her son, Dominic
Despite the challenges Dominic faced, Donna said he always felt so sad for the small children he saw in the hospital fighting cancer. He would often tell her, “I got to go to high school. I had the opportunity to play sports and be with my friends, these children don’t have those same opportunities.” It was those life lessons from Dominic that enables Donna to put her challenges into perspective, while being an inspiration to others. Running a floral shop, along with coordinating other entities such as lighting and linens to create an entire event package is extremely time consuming, but somehow  Donna has carved out time to be on the Board of The Virginia B. Andes Volunteer Community Center and a financial supporter for virtually every non-profit organization in the area such as the Homeless Coalition, The Boys and Girls Club and Crossroads Kids, in addition to the Chambers of Commerce, Younglife and the area churches.  She said, “While it is hard to financially give to so many organizations that have legitimate needs, Dennis and I both discount our services and donate our time and energies to helping wherever we can.”

Another great example of their creative giving, Port Charlotte Florist is hosting a special class where they donate the time and flowers for 50 people to create two floral arrangements each and these 100 arrangements will then be delivered to families who wouldn’t have flowers for Thanksgiving.  Donna said, ” The premise behind this gift is many times special loved ones can’t be together, but the person on the receiving end feels those that couldn’t be present physically were there emotionally to share in this special day of Thanksgiving .” She added, ” It also teaches the giver the reward they receive will be even greater than the receiver, and I for one have always felt we were blessed ten times over the amount we gave.”  Donna continued her thought by saying, “I was always fortunate to have parents who were very giving and gracious. I married a man who embodies the same principles in giving of your talents and treasures to comfort others. I’m blessed to be in business with family that also shares the belief we should bless those around us, and to share our love.”  With humility Donna said, “Having all these people in my life is what makes me look so good, and that includes Dominic.” “Dominic always wanted to help everyone,” Donna shared with me, and to perpetuate “Dom’s” desire to give, especially in a sport he loved, Donna and her husband Steve have started the Dominic Cardenas’ Scholarship Fund which awards a scholarship to a high school male and female cross country or track runner.

I asked Donna if she had any final thoughts, especially for this time of year when we sit around the Thanksgiving table giving thanks for the blessings we’ve received. She replied by saying, “I think about the day I will die and go to heaven and God says to me, “I gave you a gift. What did you do with the gift I gave you?” Her reply made me realize there is a lot to be thankful for that we take for granted, and that I too need to use the gifts I have to help brighten the lives of others.

We send our wishes to you and your family for a blessed Thanksgiving, and if you would like to give to the Dominic Cardenas Scholarship Fund you can do so by going to https://charlottecf.org/dominic-cardenas-memorial-fund/ 
  -Gary Cardillo

Filed Under: Community Information Tagged With: donna cardenas, florida, gary cardillo, giving, port charlotte florist, real estate, remax

Charlotte County Schools…A Safe, Cutting Edge Academic Environment

October 10, 2019 by Gary Cardillo

 

Recently the Punta Gorda Metropolitan Statistical Area (which includes all of Charlotte County) was recognized from the “Business Insider” as the number three location of the top 20 national MSA’s where people are relocating. The article was expanded on by Charlotte County Chamber of Commerce Executive Director, Julie Mathis, who said, “We know that people are moving here to enjoy an affordable waterfront community, educational opportunities for all ages, downtown Punta Gorda, boating, golf, biking and so much more.“Punta Gorda, Florida in 4K! As a Realtor, oftentimes we are the first point of contact by those considering a move to our area. Aside from the obvious questions regarding the local activities and points of interest previously mentioned, the question on everyone’s mind is “What are the area schools and medical services like in the area?” Having a son, family members and watching their fellow classmates graduate from our school system with honors, we’ve seen them go on to pursue careers in medicine, finance and as mechanical engineers with top national corporations. We knew how good our school system was in preparing our children for higher forms of education and beyond. However, I wanted to get a better insight as to what it takes to become an “A” level school and the programs being created to address the careers of the future, and who better to provide that insight than Steve Dionisio, Superintendent of the Charlotte County Public School system.

Growing up in the area and going through the school system himself, Steve returned after college with a passion for teaching and preparing children for their future endeavors. Now in his 28th year with the Charlotte County School system, he looks fondly at the over 12 years he served as principal of Port Charlotte High School, and for the past 5 as Superintendent overseeing 15,500 students and 2,400 employees that include up to 100 new teachers per year. While this would be a hard task to manage for any Fortune 500 CEO, one look at the artwork adorning the walls of Steve’s office and you can tell it is all about the children.
Steve makes a point of visiting every classroom of the 22 schools in the district and speaking to each of the 1,300-1,400 teachers throughout the school year. “I watch and see how kids grow and learn quickly through their mistakes. I see how teachers also grow and adapt to the daily challenges in running a successful classroom.” Steve added, “I don’t go in with a speech, I speak from the heart and hear what they have to say.” It is that kind of concern and passion the district was looking for that resulted in awarding Steve the Supervisor’s position without the required interview.  He has set a very high bar in that he not only wants the Charlotte County Public School system to attain and maintain an “A” level status in every one of the schools within the district, he wants CCPS to become the number one school system in the state.  Currently, the graduation rate of 88% is the highest it has ever been in Charlotte County Public School history , and would be higher if counting those children who attend the Academy or who have a delayed graduation were included in those graduation figures.
Recently, I responded to a letter sent to the Editor of our local newspaper written by an individual who was critical of the school system and its teachers.  With no facts to back up his assertions, I replied by citing the academic and athletic achievements our students have attained and the careers they had already pursued.   However, one key point I made in the letter was how different the educational environment is today than it was when I was growing up. While we had our share of schoolyard fights and differences with our classmates, but today school security has become just as important as the academic curriculum. “Safety,” as Steve points out, “Is the biggest challenge we face today. When the state mandated increased security for schools establishing minimums for staffing of “School Resource Officers,” (SRO’s) after the Parkland school shootings, Charlotte County Public Schools already had those minimums in place and increased the security staffing and presence even further.”  He continued by saying, “Safety of the child and staff is my first concern.  We conduct active assailant drills and teach the children where the safest area is in the classroom and how to barricade a door.” Steve adds, “It is heartbreaking that a kindergarten child has to learn how to survive.” With updated phone systems in place, and the ability to lock down the campus instantly, every parent and student can be updated during a crisis in a matter of minutes.
Since many of the previous school and mass shootings have been traced back to a shooter who had a history of mental health issues, or has come from a background of heightened emotional distress, Steve said, “This community talks to each other. The school system, the Charlotte County Sheriff’s Department, Police Chief and Charlotte County Mental Health department all move in the same direction with a game plan in place.” Together, they work in concert to provide a model for a safe learning environment.  W hen I was attending school, back when dinosaurs roamed the earth, the course curriculum was based around the three basic components, reading, writing and arithmetic.  Our exposure to the national and international events didn’t seem to be as polarizing as they are today. Today we are hearing where many of the educators, particularly those in the higher learning levels (college), are integrating their personal opinions into the course curriculum. Steve’s replied by saying, “We want our students to have a voice, as long as they aren’t breaking any of the school system’s rules. Kids today are watching and learning how those in position react to scenarios presented to them and respond accordingly.” He went on to say, “We didn’t have social media when we grew up, (Steve still doesn’t have facebook and social media accounts), and unfortunately, much of what is being posted on these sites is not based on fact. Unlike having a direct dialogue, with social media you can post without having to defend your position.”
For years I’ve often felt our county didn’t offer many career opportunities outside of medical, law, real estate and the building trades. I have thought for years we were training our young bright minds to benefit someone else’s city or state.  Steve perhaps put it much more succinctly when he said, “We are exporting our kids,” and to address this need our technical school, together with new programs being created will give our kids an instant opportunity for employment in cutting edge industries. Working in concert with Charlotte County and the Charlotte County Economic Development team, (that also has representation on the school board), new career opportunities are being created in airframe and airline mechanics, solar energy, HVAC, small engine repair, technology, dental and nursing . These programs have all been created, at great cost, so graduating students can immediately feed the growth of specific industries. In fact, just in the nursing program alone 98% of those graduating find almost immediate employment. With the new Sunseeker Resort due to be completed in late 2020, new programs with be designed with the goal of feeding a diversity of job opportunities that will be created by this 450+ million dollar resort development.
In closing, Steve shared with me that we have many talented individuals that sit on the school board who bring a wealth of experience, energy and tireless support with the goal of making the Charlotte County School System a model educational environment however, it takes even more support from our community. Steve noted very soon the entire school system will gain its “A” rating, but that it takes mentors and positive role models and mentoring programs to augment what the school provides. Steve stressed the importance of going to school events, “even if you don’t have children in school.” “Support their sports, school plays and other events, and be supportive of the school system even when there are things we could do better, as that is what makes our school system better.”
This year the Charlotte School System will once again graduate approximately 2,000 young bright minds and from the personal insight I gained from my conversation with this very caring and gifted Superintendent, I get the impression there are few things in life that bring him more joy than watching the sense of accomplishment on the faces of these students as they walk across their graduation stage knowing they are well prepared for the next chapter in their lives and equipped with the ability to make an impact in their career path of their choice.
  -Gary Cardillo
Click here to View the Plans and Goals for Charlotte County Schools

Filed Under: Community Information Tagged With: charlotte, gary cardillo, newsletter, real estate, safety, schools, steve dionisio, waterfront

Sweet Summertime Memories

August 16, 2019 by Gary Cardillo

Those Sweet Summertime Memories We’re Reliving Today
When I sat down to write this month’s newsletter I thought to myself, “What can I possibly write about for August? It is the only month where there isn’t some kind of special holiday we look forward to celebrating.” With summer quickly coming to an end in a few short weeks, for the first time in a long time I was stumped. The Beatles - Live At Shea Stadium, August 23 1966I looked back to those fond childhood summer memories where we waterskied, sailed, golfed, fished and road our bikes all over the island we lived on. We camped out with our friends recounting stories of the adventures each one of us had taken. One particular recollection of us sitting around the campfire was of our friends just returning from seeing the Beatles performing live at Shea Stadium in New York. We stayed up most of the night wanting to hear more about a group that went on to impact all of us more than just with their music.
I remember watching a couple of friends of mine learning how to fly in their small Cessna planes. I couldn’t imagine what it was like soaring to such spectacular heights, but wasn’t going to find out as one of my friends who did get his license loved to take people up and perform one of his stall maneuvers that usually left his passengers glad they were back on “terra firma!”
And who can forget owning a Volkswagen Beetle, which at that time was supposed to be the most fuel efficient car on the road? I can still recall their unique sound as if there were crickets in the exhaust pipe. One memory I’ll never forget were the puzzled looks on the faces of the gas station mechanics asking my mom how she could have possibly stranded herself by running out of gas!
We rode to the beach on the tailgate of our parent’s station wagon, (something Child Protective Services would have our parents thrown in jail for doing today), made miniature wooden boats out of Good Humor ice creamsticks we found in the sand and tied our kites to the end of our fishing poles to see how high we could fly them. Of course those were usually one way trips as rarely could we ever fish them out of the trees.
Our parent’s peers were like extended family members to us and so were some of the dinners they collectively made together. In fact to this day we still enjoy making recipes from an Italian cookbook one of those special friends created.
As I look back on those times I realize everything goes full circle and the things we enjoyed then many of us are recreating today. This summer alone we have friends who have been following the Rolling Stones who have been touring the country. That in itself amazes me to think a group we heard as kids are still performing today. Some have gone to France and ridden their bicycles on parts of the same course as the Tour de France. Others have gone to Italy to take cooking classes, making many of the same recipes found in our friend’s cookbook. And remember that story of our friend who would scare people to death in his plane? How about jumping out of one and skydiving your way to a marriage proposal?
However, it wasn’t until recently when a dear friend of ours said she would love to buy a Volkswagen bus and tour the country that brought me back to those days of “Peace, Love and Rock n’ Roll,” that could be summed up in one word…..“Woodstock.”

It’s hard to believe this summer marks the 50th year celebration of an event that was much more than an outdoor music lovefest. While it had its political overtones with many of the bands addressing the unpopular war in Vietnam, racism and violence, similar to what we experience today, it was the first event of its kind that left a lasting impression and influence not only on our generation, but generations to come.
In an article earlier this month by John Barry for the Poughkeepsie Journal (New York), he wrote, “Woodstock that the 1969 festival created was this hope for a better life-a better world, a more compassionate world; and it came at a time when things were very dark.”He continued by writing, “Woodstock still stops people in their tracks, turns heads and evokes a we’re-all-in-this-together spirit for divided times.”Sound familiar?
This weekend our community and those around the country will be celebrating Woodstock’s 50th anniversary with great music tributes in a variety of venues. Personally I’m looking forward to seeing those attending these events reliving part of their history, dressing up as they did back then, singing to the music we still love to this day and celebrating the things we share in common. While we may be older, have a little less hair (or none at all), a little more weight and a few more wrinkles, it’s not too late for us to put on our tied dyed shirts, hop into our “Volkswagen buses” and with that same “free spirit,” sense of adventure, enjoy our last few weeks of summer. 
-Gary Cardillo

Filed Under: Community Information Tagged With: community, events, florida, gary cardillo, memories, punta gorda, summertime, volkswagon, waterfront, woodstock

Celebrating Our Country’s Independence

July 3, 2019 by Gary Cardillo

As I’ve grown older I seem to have gained more of an appreciation for history and particularly for those who played such an important role in our country’s rich heritage.
Compared to some other countries that have been in existence for hundreds, and in some cases thousands of years, how our nation has evolved in less than 250 years boggles the mind. It is equally hard to comprehend that just under 250 years ago a country that started with only 13 colonies, who bravely fought for their independence from the oppression of a motherland, is today arguably the world’s foremost super power and provides a quality of life second to none.
While the growth of our country is the envy of most, it hasn’t been without conflict within its borders as well as those on foreign soil. Details of these wars are graphically written. Volumes of pictures depict the ravages of war and the sacrifices made by so many of our servicemen who came to the aid of our allies, while preserving the freedoms we oftentimes take for granted today.
Scarred by the horrors of war they had to endure, most of those who I met that served in World War II or the Korean War never wanted to talk about the war.Oftentimes I’ve tried to envision the fear they faced as they stormed the beaches of Normandy or the naval battles at Midway or during the Battle of Leyte Gulf. As I came to realize later, to relive these moments was too painful, and for so many years the emotions these men and women have lived with have been bottled up inside. They came back to little or no fanfare and were expected to resume their lives as though they had been on an extended leave of absence from work. None of those I ever spoke with ever mentioned post-traumatic stress (PTSD) and how to cope with it. They all said, “Our duty was to serve our country.”
My generation was the last to experience the draft. Unfortunately Vietnam was not a “popular war,” as most felt it was a political war and not one that was waged to be won. Unlike those who fought in previous wars, these brave men and women didn’t come back to a hero’s welcome and to this day many feel the sacrifices they made have largely gone unnoticed.
Today, we face a different kind of battle within. We have political parties who seem more concerned with preserving the best interests of the party than the nation of people they serve. We have a generation that has grown somewhat immune to the sacrifices so many have made in order for us to enjoy the freedoms we have today. With advances in our military’s technology and capability, we have greatly reduced our loss of life on the battlefield. Video games depicting realistic war settings can be fought from the safe confines of a couch with little concern for the consequences. Unless there is a friend or family member currently serving in our military, the sacrifices made by those protecting our freedoms is going unnoticed as their sacrifices have been moved to the back page behind the infighting going on in Washington. As each member from what many call “The Greatest Generation,” passes, the appreciation for their ultimate sacrifice may soon be totally forgotten.
Years ago I had a client who was of Russian Jewish heritage. He spoke eight languages fluently and was brilliant when it came to world politics and what the Russians would do throughout the world, which he outlined in a letter many decades ago to the Governor Connelly of Texas. In the late seventies when Russia and the United States were once again at odds, I asked him if he ever saw the two countries going to war. He quickly replied, “Absolutely not! They (Russia) understand the ravages of war as it has been fought on their soil, where an American President could issue a declaration of war and be out on the golf course later that afternoon.” He continued by saying, “You know how America will be brought to its knees?” When I said I didn’t have a guess, he replied, “Economically!”He continued by saying, “When Cuba started to flex its muscle, Russia slapped them on the hand and said, “Don’t wake the sleeping giant.” To this day I have never forgotten his prophetic words.
On this very special holiday where we proudly display our patriotism with flags, parades and firework displays, I’m reminded of the hard fought battles that continue to this day in order to protect our country’s values and way of life. For me, it is not just this day that I give thanks for my freedom, but every day when I get that subtle reminder just how fortunate we are when seeing a service member in uniform or a veteran wearing a hat inscribed with the ship or war in which they fought. Their valor I will never take for granted, something I hope every generation to come will do as well.
-Gary Cardillo

Filed Under: Community Information

The Perfect Mom

May 11, 2019 by Gary Cardillo

The Perfect Mom
Gail, my wife, and my definition of the perfect Mom

I have often thought about the qualities that would make a mother perfect in the eyes of their children, husband or friends, and I realized not only did I have the perfect mom, but I had married one as well.

To me the perfect mom is someone who is an encourager, a listener, your best friend as you go through life’s ups and downs, a confidant, your best advocate and fierce protector! She typically runs the household, handles the finances, not to mention all the less the glamorous jobs around the home.

She is the social director, your biggest cheerleader and oftentimes the team mom. She has a special way of making the home warm and inviting to family and friends, and no one knows how to make the holidays more special than a mom whose decorative touch and holiday dinners are what memories are made by.

She has that special ability to make you feel loved when you had to be corrected for those miscues, and has an uncanny insight knowing when you need that extra hug or encouraging note for no apparent reason.
Gail with our son, Tyler

Unlike most corporate executives who relish their title and are paid handsomely for their accomplishments, the perfect mom receives no monetary compensation, or title, and is on call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The only compensation they seek is the appreciation and love from their family.

My Mom with me and my brother

How do I know all this? When my mom passed away I felt like I lost my best friend and to this day I still feel her loss. All the attributes I mentioned above described my mother. I consider myself very blessed that not only did I have a mother who was nurturing, but enabled me to soar to heights I never imagined. However, I consider myself very fortunate to be married to a woman who has embodied every quality I feel that makes the perfect mother, partner and friend,and I thank God every day for these two special women he has brought into my life.

I hope you will join me in thanking all those “Perfect Moms” for giving so much of themselves to make our lives and those of our children so very special

.
-Gary Cardillo

Filed Under: Community Information Tagged With: florida waterfront, gary cardillo, may, mothers day, newsletter, perfect mom, punta gorda

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    The Gary Cardillo Group • RE/MAX Harbor Realty
    2815 Tamiami Trail • Punta Gorda, FL 33950
    941-916-0939
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